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Feel like being encouraged to be suicidal

A

Alica Smith

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I don't know how to feel about that. I never hide my real emotions or feelings. If people ask something like "are you ok" I always say the truth "no, I'm not". Sometimes telling about my suicide plans. That I'm sick of this life and want to end that. Soooo the point is that when I say "I want to end that, I'm thinking about how to do that" I always hear "go ahead". Or "if you don't like this life just go and kill yourself". Or "you are faking it, if you really wanted so you would go and do that" or "you just NEVER had real problems and just stupid". Or offering me ways how to do that.
Honestly I don't know how to react to that. Sometimes I think they are right, sometimes I want to die more to prove that I'm serious, sometimes I want to live more being disgusted by the entire situation. I don't know. If it's something wrong with people or with me. How to react to that.
 
A

Alica Smith

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Sometimes I just feel being pushed to do that faster
 
A

Aurin

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It is a terrible thing what these people are saying to you. This is imo one the worst things to say to anyone.

These people that say this to you, are they people that you interact in a daily basis?
If no, maybe you should not be so explicite, not for their sakes, but to yours. Many people do not understand mental illness, so they can be really insensitive about it.

Btw, are you doing any treatment about these feeling?
 
Talina

Talina

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There nothing wrong with you, the fault is how the people react around you. What they are doing is horrible and they seem to not have an understanding on what mental health is.

I’m sorry you aren’t getting heard or get the support, when you try to reach out. Try to not listen to their words, if they are people in your life and interact daily with. You will need to think if they bring any positive in your life and if you should keep them around by comparing the negative they cause.
 
A

Alica Smith

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Jun 8, 2020
Messages
451
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RF
It is a terrible thing what these people are saying to you. This is imo one the worst things to say to anyone.

These people that say this to you, are they people that you interact in a daily basis?
If no, maybe you should not be so explicite, not for their sakes, but to yours. Many people do not understand mental illness, so they can be really insensitive about it.

Btw, are you doing any treatment about these feeling?
No, no treatment. Can't have it.

Well, I don't know how to explain. Some relatives. Some people from my University. Some people from the Internet. Former friends used to tell so.
I want to be honest but often avoid talks about suicide not to hear that.
 
A

Alica Smith

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Joined
Jun 8, 2020
Messages
451
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RF
There nothing wrong with you, the fault is how the people react around you. What they are doing is horrible and they seem to not have an understanding on what mental health is.

I’m sorry you aren’t getting heard or get the support, when you try to reach out. Try to not listen to their words, if they are people in your life and interact daily with. You will need to think if they bring any positive in your life and if you should keep them around by comparing the negative they cause.
Sometimes I am trying to convince myself that they are right. To have more courage to finally do that. I don't know why it still haven't worked. I'm trying to get more sad to kill myself. But actually I just get more sad and do nothing about that
 
A

Aurin

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No, no treatment. Can't have it.

Well, I don't know how to explain. Some relatives. Some people from my University. Some people from the Internet. Former friends used to tell so.
I want to be honest but often avoid talks about suicide not to hear that.
I hope I not being too intrusive, but why you can't have it?

If I'm being honest, you should distance yourself from these people, if they are toxic to you.
 
A

Alica Smith

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I hope I not being too intrusive, but why you can't have it?

If I'm being honest, you should distance yourself from these people, if they are toxic to you.
I can't distance myself from the whole world.
Imagine the situation. For example it's English lesson. We are asked something about "how are you today?" or discuss a question "Would you like to live a long life?".
I tell (when I feel up to) "oh no, I'm just depressed" and "I don't want to live a long life, I promised myself to die in a few months".
And hear "why a few months, die now". Or "you are just selfish, people have more problems than you".
If I am asked if I value my life I always say NO I WANT TO DIE ISN'T THAT OBVIOUS.
Well in uni I am really asked these questions.
And any other people I meet.
 
A

Alica Smith

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No one just takes it seriously.
And not without a reason.
I regret I didn't kill myself when I had opportunity to.
And now I have to wait until the next one. And hear all these
 
B

bpd2020

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I think the people who encourage you to end your life are utterly unsympathetic. Maybe they do not really believe you are feeling that way because often people are not as open about feeling that way. Please do not think their opinion is correct. We all do not agree with them at all.

I think it may be an idea to not open up to any of these people because they only hurt you by their comments.
 
A

Alica Smith

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I think the people who encourage you to end your life are utterly unsympathetic. Maybe they do not really believe you are feeling that way because often people are not as open about feeling that way. Please do not think their opinion is correct. We all do not agree with them at all.

I think it may be an idea to not open up to any of these people because they only hurt you by their comments.
Yes you are right. The problem is that sometimes I do that because I am curious and want to see their faces when someone tells "wow I wanted to ..... myself in the summer. I could be already dead!". Especially considering that I was serious.
Or I want to get sad on purpose to get more courage to do that
 
A

Alica Smith

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One guy (not from this forum, from Russia) was convincing me that I should do that immediately. Literally as soon as possible.
I tried to explain I need time. He said I am just weak
 
B

bpd2020

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One guy (not from this forum, from Russia) was convincing me that I should do that immediately. Literally as soon as possible.
I tried to explain I need time. He said I am just weak
That man sounds like an abusive troll to me. To actually say you are weak for not ending your life is a disgusting thing to say.
 
A

Alica Smith

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That man sounds like an abusive troll to me. To actually say you are weak for not ending your life is a disgusting thing to say.
He's suicidal too and needed a suicidal partner. I refused to participate because ending my life is only up to me. And I don't want to be a cause of someone's death even in that way.
 
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bpd2020

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He's suicidal too and needed a suicidal partner. I refused to participate because ending my life is only up to me. And I don't want to be a cause of someone's death even in that way.
He cannot be a kind person to want you to do that with him. I remember when I was at school I had a friend who said if I really cared about him I would end my life with him. I can see now he was manipulative.
 
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