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Feel like a terrible person / suicidal

L

Lizardqueen

Member
Joined
Aug 9, 2018
Messages
10
I say the most vile things when im drunk or angry and I turn people against me. I hate myself and feel like i just want to die.
I always blackout and when I'm told later what I've said / done I just feel so awful that I want to die. I'm normally a good person with lots of compassion and empathy so why do I turn so vile when I've had too much alcohol or when I'm in a rage? Really struggling with this.
 
B

blue spark

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 25, 2014
Messages
136
Location
bottom of dingly dell
I say the most vile things when im drunk or angry and I turn people against me. I hate myself and feel like i just want to die.
I always blackout and when I'm told later what I've said / done I just feel so awful that I want to die. I'm normally a good person with lots of compassion and empathy so why do I turn so vile when I've had too much alcohol or when I'm in a rage? Really struggling with this.
You can cure this in an instant,if your not an alcholic just stop drinking.I went through a bad time a few years ago,alcohol became a problem because of an underlying problem.I just stopped drinking alcohol,that was fifteen years ago.Never touched a drop sinse,if your not an alcoholic it's easy.
 
Mayflower7

Mayflower7

Well-known member
Moderator
Joined
Jan 4, 2013
Messages
9,865
Location
England
Hi,
We all say and do things we don't mean, it doesn't make you a bad person.
Please if your feeling suicidal, get some help see your dr, or go to the emergency department at your local hospital. Or call your crisis team if you have one.
Take care
 
Lunus

Lunus

Well-known member
Joined
May 20, 2019
Messages
850
Location
Norfolk
I say the most vile things when im drunk or angry and I turn people against me. I hate myself and feel like i just want to die.
I always blackout and when I'm told later what I've said / done I just feel so awful that I want to die. I'm normally a good person with lots of compassion and empathy so why do I turn so vile when I've had too much alcohol or when I'm in a rage? Really struggling with this.
I have been the same. It’s a self destructive coping mechanism as you believe your emotions are just too painful to handle, reality is too difficult to handle, but as you know, it only leads to more suffering, as do all coping mechanisms.
If you can, try to choose something less destructive that can occupy your mind. 🤗
 
L

Lizardqueen

Member
Joined
Aug 9, 2018
Messages
10
I don't know how to stop hating myself now. Feel like everyone would be best off if I wasn't here and just vanished.
 
daffy

daffy

Well-known member
Moderator
Founding Member
Joined
Dec 16, 2007
Messages
5,774
Location
hiding behind the sofa
It’s obvious that alcohol doesn’t suit you . Having lived with an alcoholic and been expected to forgive him when he sobered up. But it’s not that easy to forgive or forget
hurtful behaviour. The best advice I can give you is either stop drinking or learn your limits. Tell yourself you’ll have no more than three drinks. It’s up to you if your normally a nice person when sober with your friends it shows that you don’t need the booze to be sociable
 
E

EstherRose94

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 2, 2019
Messages
1,576
Location
USA
You shouldn’t hate yourself. We’re complex creatures. No one is 100% nice or good. I’m sure you’re a great person but it doesn’t mean you’ll never be angry or moody.
 
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