- Sep 7, 2015
I'm sick and tired of feeling depressed, hopeless, suicidal. Nothing seems to be improving. I'm a fat, ugly failure. I have tried so many times to be "positive" but it just doesn't last. My antidepressants clearly aren't working. I don't want to kill myself because I know my mum just wouldn't cope but I also feel like a burden to her being alive. My inappropriate sex talk to strangers online makes people hate me even more. I don't know why I do it, I guess I feel like that's the only way to get attention even though its the wrong kind of attention. I have one friend but she has own mental health problems. I just want to feel loved, wanted and accepted but I know I'm never going to find a boyfriend who will love me unconditionally for who I am. Yes, I want therapy and counselling but its not enough to fix all my faults and issues - I'm a complete and utter car crash.