Fed up

R

R2Y5A0N2

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#1
I'm sick and tired of feeling depressed, hopeless, suicidal. Nothing seems to be improving. I'm a fat, ugly failure. I have tried so many times to be "positive" but it just doesn't last. My antidepressants clearly aren't working. I don't want to kill myself because I know my mum just wouldn't cope but I also feel like a burden to her being alive. My inappropriate sex talk to strangers online makes people hate me even more. I don't know why I do it, I guess I feel like that's the only way to get attention even though its the wrong kind of attention. I have one friend but she has own mental health problems. I just want to feel loved, wanted and accepted but I know I'm never going to find a boyfriend who will love me unconditionally for who I am. Yes, I want therapy and counselling but its not enough to fix all my faults and issues - I'm a complete and utter car crash.
 
RookieatBest

RookieatBest

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#2
I'm sick and tired of feeling depressed, hopeless, suicidal.
Stop being sick and tired and start being happy, hopeful, and wanting to live no matter the daily outcome.

Nothing seems to be improving.
Improvement is everyday of your living life.

I'm a fat, ugly failure.
Lose weight by eating less, picking more healthy choices, and try to keep up your appearance.

I have tried so many times to be "positive" but it just doesn't last.
Continue to stay positive even when the negative is in the midst.

My antidepressants clearly aren't working.
It's time to change your medicine until you find "the onesssss" or try another method like herbs.

I don't want to kill myself because I know my mum just wouldn't cope but I also feel like a burden to her being alive.
See you "don't want to kill yourself because". Good job! You're being selfishless. You both need space for self development.

My inappropriate sex talk to strangers online makes people hate me even more.
How are people hating you for something they know nothing about or do they? Why would they hate you when heck they do it too. You feel the men are turn off by the sex talk?

I don't know why I do it, I guess I feel like that's the only way to get attention even though its the wrong kind of attention.
Exactly! How about drop the sex talk and actually talk. Don't come off like some whore/escort/tempt/needy woman no offense. There are plenty men who are willing to communicate excluding the sex talk. Leave that for the right moment in time. If they start it don't encourage it further. You're better than that and deserve better human interaction.

I have one friend but she has own mental health problems.
Stay in contact with her. Check in and check out with her. See how each of you are doing. Help each other out. Don't be greedy. Be casual. If the conversation calls for a trendy and dressy talk, then spill tea.

I just want to feel loved, wanted and accepted but I know I'm never going to find a boyfriend who will love me unconditionally for who I am.
You can have all those four adjectives but if you keep thinking like that then you won't.

Yes, I want therapy and counselling but its not enough to fix all my faults and issues - I'm a complete and utter car crash.
If we humans knew all the answers then we would be God.
 
RookieatBest

RookieatBest

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#3
Instead of fed up. Do like Ciara song says, "Level Up". There's an app called Level Up Life. It's a step into helping you make changes in your life. It's kinda fun and cool
 
R

R2Y5A0N2

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#5
thank you so much for your honest and wise advice. I really appreciate your responses and the fact that you've taken time out to offer me help and support. It meas a hell of a lot. Wishing you the best with recovery as well because we can and we will beat depression & anxiety :)
 
RookieatBest

RookieatBest

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#6
You are welcome. All I can do is listen, maybe relate, and try to help by giving opinionated advice. And no problem. Best regards to you as well. Thanks. And you can and you will be able to sustain your mental health, mental illnesses, and your life. GL GB BS! :D
 
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RookieatBest

RookieatBest

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#7
I understand your concerns. I can relate. Remember to level up and never give up. Live out your life until it's end. Keep saying no to suicide. GL GB BS! :peace:
 
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socalpoppy

socalpoppy

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#8
Of course you feel fed up! Depression sucks! And "just change" doesn't ever work. I totally understand. I think people don't understand how depression makes us think. All of your words show how depression makes me think, too, but you say it so much better. Can you communicate easily with your doctor? Email, etc.? If you haven't yet, it is definitely time to tell them your antidepressants are not working. Hopefully you can get a dosage change or even a medication change. I am so sorry that you feel like a car crash right now, but again that is just depression talking. There is no way that you are a complete and utter car crash. You have put words to your feelings and thoughts in a beautiful way. Others will be able to read it and know that they are not alone.
 
R

R2Y5A0N2

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#9
Of course you feel fed up! Depression sucks! And "just change" doesn't ever work. I totally understand. I think people don't understand how depression makes us think. All of your words show how depression makes me think, too, but you say it so much better. Can you communicate easily with your doctor? Email, etc.? If you haven't yet, it is definitely time to tell them your antidepressants are not working. Hopefully you can get a dosage change or even a medication change. I am so sorry that you feel like a car crash right now, but again that is just depression talking. There is no way that you are a complete and utter car crash. You have put words to your feelings and thoughts in a beautiful way. Others will be able to read it and know that they are not alone.
It helps knowing the depression and anxiety is actually very common. I am happy that I have been able to articulate how you feel as well as myself and many others. Thank you for your response. I just wrote down how I honestly felt, no filters. Making a GP appointment will be my top priority tomorrow as I need to speak to them about a few things including my mental health and antidepressants. Best wishes with your journey and I'm always here if you or anyone needs to talk, rant or moan.
 
socalpoppy

socalpoppy

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#10
I obviously took a break from the computer. Thank you for you response! I am very happy with your Best Wishes.
 
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