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Fears and Insecurities how can I forget move on?

T

Thesaint

Member
Joined
May 18, 2020
Messages
19
Location
UK
I am unable to move on have certain anxieties fears insecurities.

I thought I could still trying to bit by bit gets to me have anger and trying to cope find other avenues to get support.

All gone because former friend has lied about me given an allegation which is untrue.

This has resulted me being removed from a source of support and those friends made .

Worse got suspended and felt immediately the odds stacked against me so had to with draw from the support.

How do you move on and deal with this.

Worrying and anxiety playing on my fears insecurities will this happen again, seems every time join some thing.

Have problems anxieties and stress thinking the worse the bad of people yet am Christian do forgive but it puzzles me.

Why use insinuations lies to get rid of a friend who I helped supported gave time to.

If the person concerned the friend all they had to do was say do not wish to be friends any more.

I am aware of my own mental health just need to find a solution some how.

I have joined forums community support before every time there is an underlying fear factor scared and do not wish this happen again but it is.

Any one been in similar positions happy to chat talk ready to listen, I know a horrible situation am in.

Thank you for the time and reading.
 
Z

Zoe1

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 8, 2019
Messages
10,158
Location
Nowhere
hi Thesaint :welcome: !

was this a place that had facilitators ?
I would speak to them about it
to get re-instated as a member of that place

not every one will agree with your friend

or if you get a therapist, you will find out
how to restore your confidence

I hope you find it helpful here

:grouphug:🐢🍀🧡
 
PerpetuallyStuck

PerpetuallyStuck

ACCOUNT CLOSED
Joined
May 20, 2020
Messages
546
Location
England
I am unable to move on have certain anxieties fears insecurities.

I thought I could still trying to bit by bit gets to me have anger and trying to cope find other avenues to get support.

All gone because former friend has lied about me given an allegation which is untrue.

This has resulted me being removed from a source of support and those friends made .

Worse got suspended and felt immediately the odds stacked against me so had to with draw from the support.

How do you move on and deal with this.


If the person concerned the friend all they had to do was say do not wish to be friends any more.

I have joined forums community support before every time there is an underlying fear factor scared and do not wish this happen again but it is.
It is difficult when people do things to damage others, especially if it isn't justified. I've no idea why someone wanted to make your life a misery, life can be really unfair. It is difficult to not think about these problems over and over again. I always try to get back at people that hurt me, but it just makes a situation more volatile. Over time, things will hurt less, because it will mean less. Your life is always moving forward, and what happened is already in the past.

Joining anything and being new is always nerve racking. Well done for signing up.
 
T

Thesaint

Member
Joined
May 18, 2020
Messages
19
Location
UK
hi Thesaint :welcome: !

was this a place that had facilitators ?
I would speak to them about it
to get re-instated as a member of that place

not every one will agree with your friend

or if you get a therapist, you will find out
how to restore your confidence

I hope you find it helpful here

:grouphug:🐢🍀🧡
 
T

Thesaint

Member
Joined
May 18, 2020
Messages
19
Location
UK
Hello thank you for welcome. One of the issues I have is having been supported and helped aided others in their own health problems.

Often forget others can get jealous. I have awards and lots more from various lines of support I used. Volunteering I been a god send helping others.
Been late at night for those who suffer addiction the contacts the friendship mean we can support each other.

This might be it the problems only reason can think of.

When got Email from team about the incidents. I can hardly remember anything I have ever said.

The facilitors have refused to listen, I have only found out recently one of the people investigating me is a friend of the one who is making a lot of problems for me.

So how can you beat that remain impartial and still simply take sides.

It still goes on long term volunteering stopped doing it for bullying, threats and intimidation . Thought this be different.

Just two years of my time wasted one thing found out also one of the team did not wish me to resign and yet he accepted it.

Problems are anxiety tiredness and thinking the worse.

Mentioned therapy long term therapy support workers team mental health services unfortunately once better in their eyes let you go.

I know this and have so much respect for those doing the role.

Whole ideas of my involvement was helping me but mainly others similar to me as many services having volunteered have the knowledge experience to help those failed to understand the systems in place to help.

Confidence self esteem was coming back now lost again .

Just hope can cope.
 
T

Thesaint

Member
Joined
May 18, 2020
Messages
19
Location
UK
It is difficult when people do things to damage others, especially if it isn't justified. I've no idea why someone wanted to make your life a misery, life can be really unfair. It is difficult to not think about these problems over and over again. I always try to get back at people that hurt me, but it just makes a situation more volatile. Over time, things will hurt less, because it will mean less. Your life is always moving forward, and what happened is already in the past.

Joining anything and being new is always nerve racking. Well done for signing up.
 
T

Thesaint

Member
Joined
May 18, 2020
Messages
19
Location
UK
Hello pleased to meet you thank you for kind words and much need support. Glad to know some good excellent people whom hopefully can trust.

Only the reasons I can think of is jealousy.

As mentioned not arrogant here done a lot of community support and give my time to help those like me never understand the reasons why.

Mystery always.

I just have the sinking feeling everything I some times do.

I know my own health and issues, problems. Having done a lot to heal help and identify the issues long term.

I am aware wish some one had spoken up for me never given that opportunity.

No on ever questioned this person who made the complaint acceptance me suspended the person allowed to continue .

If two parties have a problem with each other is not to best to sort it out between yourselves.

I know never one to get back at those who hurt me have certain beliefs.

If you hurt harm some one some one do the same to you .

Advice given to me.

Knowledge, expertise experience teaches me many things one is always some one who sees your vulnerabilities wishes to put you down create difficulties.

We create make and engineer heroes heroines in our communities all through history. Give them the plaudits the pedestal to be on to and give them a image.

Laud praise give them awards numerous accolades.

All too easily then to crash and burn cause them to be crushed with insinuation, slander and disown.

I hope and pray that I can find some spaces here some place for me to speak voice and be compassionate empathy to those of this community.

Thank you for reading.

Please take care
 
G

girlboss

Member
Joined
May 23, 2020
Messages
11
Location
Arkansas
Just my personal opinion, and it may not be of much help, but, not everyone will like you. Believe me, it’s okay. People will slander your name and do everything they can to bring you down, yes it hurts, but it is also okay too. Those who know you, and love you, know when it is a lie. Those who are wise, don’t believe things without proof. As in, they get to know you themselves. I too struggle with anxiety, social anxiety, and anxiety when it comes to being in a room with someone who doesn’t like me. But it’s getting easier...why? Those people are the one’s I make speak. I politely smile at, say hi, and never let them know they have the upper hand. As we say in the south, “kill them with kindness.” Be the bigger person in that situation. If someone willingly walks out of your life, let them. Clearly they weren’t your friend to begin with if they will lie on you and not try to work through the differences. Chin up. Don’t worry about what others think. They don’t define who you are, only you do. And, if you’re Christian, it doesn’t mean you’re perfect. It means you hold a faith to know that when you’re wrong, you’re forgiven. It means you find your knees and pray every day to find the right group to get help from, Or you’re healed in general. Sometimes it’s a spiritual healing you find you need.
 
Z

Zoe1

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 8, 2019
Messages
10,158
Location
Nowhere
Mentioned therapy long term therapy support workers team mental health services unfortunately once better in their eyes let you go
I know that happened to me. Can you try to claim PIP so you can afford some therapy ?
its also better when you have chosen your therapist , so to get some quality attention

that will also help you in your work of helping others
so that your batteries are re-charged

:grouphug: 🎼 🐢 🍀 💜
 
B

Broken Mountain

Active member
Joined
May 23, 2020
Messages
33
Location
...
Just my personal opinion, and it may not be of much help, but, not everyone will like you. Believe me, it’s okay. People will slander your name and do everything they can to bring you down, yes it hurts, but it is also okay too. Those who know you, and love you, know when it is a lie. Those who are wise, don’t believe things without proof. As in, they get to know you themselves. I too struggle with anxiety, social anxiety, and anxiety when it comes to being in a room with someone who doesn’t like me. But it’s getting easier...why? Those people are the one’s I make speak. I politely smile at, say hi, and never let them know they have the upper hand. As we say in the south, “kill them with kindness.” Be the bigger person in that situation. If someone willingly walks out of your life, let them. Clearly they weren’t your friend to begin with if they will lie on you and not try to work through the differences. Chin up. Don’t worry about what others think. They don’t define who you are, only you do. And, if you’re Christian, it doesn’t mean you’re perfect. It means you hold a faith to know that when you’re wrong, you’re forgiven. It means you find your knees and pray every day to find the right group to get help from, Or you’re healed in general. Sometimes it’s a spiritual healing you find you need.
Your words are so inspiring ❤
 
T

Thesaint

Member
Joined
May 18, 2020
Messages
19
Location
UK
I know that happened to me. Can you try to claim PIP so you can afford some therapy ?
its also better when you have chosen your therapist , so to get some quality attention

that will also help you in your work of helping others
so that your batteries are re-charged

:grouphug: 🎼 🐢 🍀 💜
 
T

Thesaint

Member
Joined
May 18, 2020
Messages
19
Location
UK
Hello thank you for reply lots of reassurance. Thank you. On benefits long term.

Actually to think of it another reason may be lied about me this former friend as lots of experience knowledge on benefit systems.

Well been claiming since leaving school the mists of time the old benefits. Then working with a range of Government departments all connected with pensions benefits and so on and also my encounters with the whole debacle of assessments.

Continues to this day. I maybe said something advising former friend on benefits after all still mysterfied .

Know all of this is making me aware of ever trusting others bit there again if you become friends with some one should be acceptance of all faults opinions and views.

If some one asks for help do we leave them drowning in a sea of pity sorrow and misery or do we reach out offer a life line.

I do know as Christian get used and trodden for my helping hands many people meet in the community unable to say the words thank you.

I have had lots of therapy do know and respect you for suggestions unfortunately last therapist was a University Graduate dealing with her naivety and innocence was enough.

Child in a woman body if I can say that, all very sad as support had was near to my age lot better a excellent support worker.

Needed that and liked the support again this is something missing .

In the UK if you did not know once leaving a service or organisation do not want you back.


Happens a lot especially council services budgets under staffed resources usual problems. I have met so many get the good help and then out on the streets in weeks.

Not helping charities sign a contract three years min. Usually but in the hands of the team not you to decide future decisions.

Although will discuss with you options choices other support. Whole lot of society on and off enrolled mental health therapy and then having to find other support.

Extreme have met them at various and associated mental health conferences organised by lots of mental health charities.

Something to consider every one who is mentally ill. Meet the Teams Managers senior Staff Directors of the charities.

Discussions initiatives and ideas explored make a difference eye opening.

I had to move several more than I care to remember as many lines of support in lots of areas of the UK used them up not wanting or wishing me to come back so had to move.

Mental health resources can do so much if need help or more had to cope so moved. Addiction services being one waiting too long got help else where.

Probably have to again although many times now means more stress. Last time took me weeks to recover.

I do not wish to but in these times it is becoming harder to get help and support.

I believe my old support team once told me for every one leaving a service another ten can and could replace that one person.

You seeing lovely people working early hours to late at night dealing with people who need a lot.

Another reason I suppose take a lot on from other people often get involved.

Mental health and am very much supportive, one thing I am aware of is being sensitive have compassion, empathy but if you not listening or being reading or hearing what is being said then is it pointless.

One lose faith if those whom are friends continue to send you text messages al hours and you offer patience tolerance and you time, not right somehow.

Thank you for reading , much appreciative take care.
 
T

Thesaint

Member
Joined
May 18, 2020
Messages
19
Location
UK
Hello thank you for reply lots of reassurance. Thank you. On benefits long term.

Actually to think of it another reason may be lied about me this former friend as lots of experience knowledge on benefit systems.

Well been claiming since leaving school the mists of time the old benefits. Then working with a range of Government departments all connected with pensions benefits and so on and also my encounters with the whole debacle of assessments.

Continues to this day. I maybe said something advising former friend on benefits after all still mysterfied .

Know all of this is making me aware of ever trusting others bit there again if you become friends with some one should be acceptance of all faults opinions and views.

If some one asks for help do we leave them drowning in a sea of pity sorrow and misery or do we reach out offer a life line.

I do know as Christian get used and trodden for my helping hands many people meet in the community unable to say the words thank you.

I have had lots of therapy do know and respect you for suggestions unfortunately last therapist was a University Graduate dealing with her naivety and innocence was enough.

Child in a woman body if I can say that, all very sad as support had was near to my age lot better a excellent support worker.

Needed that and liked the support again this is something missing .

In the UK if you did not know once leaving a service or organisation do not want you back.


Happens a lot especially council services budgets under staffed resources usual problems. I have met so many get the good help and then out on the streets in weeks.

Not helping charities sign a contract three years min. Usually but in the hands of the team not you to decide future decisions.

Although will discuss with you options choices other support. Whole lot of society on and off enrolled mental health therapy and then having to find other support.

Extreme have met them at various and associated mental health conferences organised by lots of mental health charities.

Something to consider every one who is mentally ill. Meet the Teams Managers senior Staff Directors of the charities.

Discussions initiatives and ideas explored make a difference eye opening.

I had to move several more than I care to remember as many lines of support in lots of areas of the UK used them up not wanting or wishing me to come back so had to move.

Mental health resources can do so much if need help or more had to cope so moved. Addiction services being one waiting too long got help else where.

Probably have to again although many times now means more stress. Last time took me weeks to recover.

I do not wish to but in these times it is becoming harder to get help and support.

I believe my old support team once told me for every one leaving a service another ten can and could replace that one person.

You seeing lovely people working early hours to late at night dealing with people who need a lot.

Another reason I suppose take a lot on from other people often get involved.

Mental health and am very much supportive, one thing I am aware of is being sensitive have compassion, empathy but if you not listening or being reading or hearing what is being said then is it pointless.

One lose faith if those whom are friends continue to send you text messages al hours and you offer patience tolerance and you time, not right somehow.

Thank you for reading , much appreciative take care.
 
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