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Fear on turning into psychotic

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Law1505

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I’ve started having very mild anxiety 2 years ago. And since last year, the anxiety is amplified and it started to intrude my everyday life.

My anxiety is towards worries that I’m psychotic//schizophrenic. I’d think back on everything I’ve done and thought in the past all the time to try and prove to myself that I’m schizophrenic. Even when 2 psychiatrists told me it’s anxiety, I was still trying to prove them wrong.

Im new to this forum and I wonder if anyone here also suffers from this particular fear??
 
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Lora

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Hi there welcome to the forum sorry to hear your anxiety is impacting in your daily life. I suffer from General anxiety disorder panic attacks due to childhood trauma . I have had good therapists so am doing ok at present. How dose your anxiety affect you daily ? Do you have OCD or any thing like that
 
calypso

calypso

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Hello Law. I think it isn't likely you have schizophrenia if you have had pdocs tell you its not. Sometimes anxiety can feel like that though and its a fear that isn't that rare. You think you are literally going mad with the anxiety and can't pin down what is going on or why its happening to you.
 
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Law1505

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Hello Law. I think it isn't likely you have schizophrenia if you have had pdocs tell you its not. Sometimes anxiety can feel like that though and its a fear that isn't that rare. You think you are literally going mad with the anxiety and can't pin down what is going on or why its happening to you.

That’s exactly what happens to me. whenever my anxiety arises which is most of the time, I started thinking about everything I’ve done in the past to find evidence that I’m schizophrenic. Because I remember very clearly on what I’ve done in the past, this is solid prove that I am not schizo.

And on the contrary, I prefer going out and socialise with others when my anxiety kicks in, which is another sign that I’m not socially withdrawal - a common symptom of schizo.

It’s anxiety doing its thing to always try and prove me wrong.

How about yourself. Do you suffer from anxiety and if so, what’s the fear about??
 
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Law1505

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What makes you believe or fear your psychotic
Hello again Lora haha. I’d like to think my anxiety connects with BPD a lot. With BPD, I can’t identify many boundaries and thoughts that comes with BPD can be out of bound eg. Self harming to get other’s attention, people are talking behind my back etc.

My anxiety started arising 2 years ago when my insight told me I’ve got a messed up life (which I totally agree) eg pushing nice people away, deteriorating relationship with parents. The reasons I’ve got a messed up life is because of all my actions arises from ‘black and white thinking’.

anxiety comes as this: ‘perhaps you’re schizo, and hence you do things to lead you to this messed up life’. On top of that, whenever I’m getting told about stuff I’ve done but forgot (either because work is busy or it’s years ago), anxiety creeps up and try convincing me that they were from psychotic episodes.

How about you Lora? What’s your anxiety about??
 
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Lora

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Hi there my anxiety is about leaving the house - relationships with males - the dark- food - speaking in a group- being in crowds- trusting anyone -controlling my urge to defend and fight. Writing Poetry is my way of coping or painting a portrait helps to calm n Center my mind. Thank you for taking an interest to ask much appreciated 😊🌠
 
calypso

calypso

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Hiya. I don't get much anxiety, just intrusive thoughts which erode my confidence at times. I am diagnosed bipolar and that is my primary problem. Thank you for asking though.
 
OCDguy

OCDguy

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Only one way to deal with intrusive thoughts in my opinion... tackle and defeat them head on ;)
 
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Lora

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I agree I imagine intrusive thought as clouds that eventually float by and challenge them by remembering my strengths 😊🌠
 
fazza

fazza

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Chances are if you think you are becoming psychotic then you probably are NOT. You have insight and generally although not in all cases people who are psychotic generally don't.
Relax. You are just being you. I have schizophrenia and don't realise that I have been ill until a good few months after the event.
Sorry if this does not help.
 
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Law1505

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Chances are if you think you are becoming psychotic then you probably are NOT. You have insight and generally although not in all cases people who are psychotic generally don't.
Relax. You are just being you. I have schizophrenia and don't realise that I have been ill until a good few months after the event.
Sorry if this does not help.
That’s the exactly how I reason it with myself whenever I’m anxious. Is your schizo well-managed?
 
Hopeful313

Hopeful313

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I started to think I am psychotic after searching on google about anxiety and what could it develop into. Since the, I feel my life is hell. I now question every fear I have. Anxiety can take us into weird tunnels. It’s very confusing. I know I am not psychotic. It’s just the fear and worry that it might turn into psychosis.
 
fazza

fazza

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That’s the exactly how I reason it with myself whenever I’m anxious. Is your schizo well-managed?
Not really but I am able to live a normal ish life. I can work for short periods but I struggle to be voice free wich gets me down.

You will be fine. Catastrophic thinking is horrible I am pretty sure it all ties in with anxiety
 
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RoseGoldBoi

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This reminds me of my OCD/intrusive thoughts. I got the most anxiety inducing thoughts that I can't even verbalize on here but deep down I know I would never act on. What worked for me was just telling myself "Well I never act out these things before these thoughts came so where's the evidence that I'd wakeup and suddenly do it now? My history of being harmless all my life controdicts of what I'm afraid I could do if I snap" The mere fact that OP is objecting to their thoughts is evidence enough that they aren't their thoughts. Anxiety reacting to the thought of being psychotic is basically the brains *dysfunctional* way of protecting you from doing anything psychotic. The anxiety, in its own fucked up way is your brain giving you unsolicited reminder that psychotic is bad even if the person has enough common sense that its almost never warrented. The anxiety is ego-distonic.
 
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