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    Our forum members are people, maybe like yourself, who experience mental health difficulties or who have had them at some point in their life.

DwarfRabbit

DwarfRabbit

Member
Joined
Jun 30, 2020
Messages
24
Location
Germany
In February next year, the internship will take place as part of my training.

I have already applied for a job and had an appointment there - due to the current covid-19 situation, I wasn't able to sit in. Now I have sent a second application to another kindergarten. I wrote the application with the help of someone else. I was already uncomfortable when writing the application letter. You should be able to sell yourself well in applications, because you should even praise yourself and name your strengths. I did this, which I would have preferred not to do, but the person who helped me thought it was a good thing.

I procrastinated looking for institutions because I was already afraid of sending off an application.
So time is running out and I'm limiting my choice of jobs very much, for certain reasons of interest :I

I'm afraid that if I'm invited for an interview and they refuse, don't like me or I don't like the kindergarten/concept.
If they invite me for an interview/visit, that would be great at first, but I'm afraid I might make a bad impression. I had already visited another institution and I guess I did NOT present myself well at all - because I had problems answering the director's questions and I couldn't even articulate myself eloquently, because I couldn't find the words and I didn't have time to put them right in my head or on paper. As a result, I am afraid that I will show such a completely grotesque picture of myself that it doesn't correspond to the one in my application. I would find that embarrassing, as it would give the impression that I had been lying and wasn't as good as I claimed - basically overestimating myself.

If this step was taken and they actually accept me, would everything be great then?
No, unfortunately not, because then other fears arise! The fear of not fulfilling the expectations of my superiors and colleagues, of giving a bad image of myself, of being unlikable and weird to my colleagues, of not being able to satisfy the work and the team, of doing something wrong (even the most trivial things make me afraid of making mistakes), letting my colleagues think I'm inept for this job and, in the end, of failing the internship and not being admitted to my final exam...

I am so afraid of my superiors. I don't want to do anything wrong and I don't want to act awkward...
On the other hand, I am also afraid of getting PANICATTACKS during working hours, which happened a few times in my previous internships!

I already passed some internships successfully but I still have those fears and they are crippling...

Does anyone can relate or understand the fear of "work"? I would like how you experience your fears on this topic! Does someone maybe have some tips on how to manage everything?

I wouldn't call myself an "ergophobic", though, as I see it as a part of my social anxieties.
 
Talina

Talina

Well-known member
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Sweden
Work interviews are my nightmares to do and I will be anxious many days before, so I totally understand your fears. I often listen to music and try to change my mind. I remember my first work interview was a catastrophe with me stuttering, holding back tears and shaking the whole interview. But somehow got the job and could just show with actions it wasn’t a wrong choice. I often try to not think what other people thinks and just focus on the work.

Because overthinking will just cause me to do more errors and cause more stress. Which would just have an negative impact on how I work.

I also always go back that it can’t be as bad as my first work interview. I try to change my thinking into something positive and if the interview go bad. I try see it from another perspective on how to improve. But for any social situations I end up with sore muscles, breakdowns and nausea, I get that problem even when it’s over internet sometimes.

Tips which I use before any interview:
  • If I’m feeling really off I will cuddle my bunny
  • Do something that distract my mind and focus.
  • Listen to music
  • Take calming breaths outdoors
  • Motivate and think everything will be okay / Write a list why it will go good

I hope you manage to find a way to cope and I totally love your profile pic and name.
 
Blue Opal

Blue Opal

ACCOUNT CLOSED
Joined
Oct 28, 2020
Messages
276
Location
The Netherlands
I just want to say I can relate to pretty much everything you wrote.
I am 41 and I have never had a real job interview. Only for volunteer jobs. Right now I don't even do volunteer work, it's all just too much stress.
I'm sorry, I have no tips, I just want to wish you the best of luck, I hope everything works out well for you.
 
L

Listerbug85

Active member
Joined
Nov 26, 2020
Messages
32
Location
Essex UK
I can relate to this too. I'm in my early thirties and I've mostly been able to get by despite feeling like a complete imposter most of the time.

There was one job where I ended up off ill for about two months because I'd driven myself over the edge but I've managed to work for most of my adult life. My only tips are to just concentrate as much on the here and now as possible and try not to second guess yourself too much. Its really difficult though.

I also find it difficult to sell myself and then get worried that I've sold a better version of me and they will be disappointed when I actually start. OCD is so much fun sometimes! 😂

As long as you haven't lied on your application there's nothing to worry about. Try to relax as much as you can before your next interview, do everything you like, nice hot bubble bath and a glass of white for me! 😁

Let us know how everything goes x
 
DwarfRabbit

DwarfRabbit

Member
Joined
Jun 30, 2020
Messages
24
Location
Germany
Work interviews are my nightmares to do and I will be anxious many days before, so I totally understand your fears. I often listen to music and try to change my mind. I remember my first work interview was a catastrophe with me stuttering, holding back tears and shaking the whole interview. But somehow got the job and could just show with actions it wasn’t a wrong choice. I often try to not think what other people thinks and just focus on the work.

Because overthinking will just cause me to do more errors and cause more stress. Which would just have an negative impact on how I work.

I also always go back that it can’t be as bad as my first work interview. I try to change my thinking into something positive and if the interview go bad. I try see it from another perspective on how to improve. But for any social situations I end up with sore muscles, breakdowns and nausea, I get that problem even when it’s over internet sometimes.

Tips which I use before any interview:
  • If I’m feeling really off I will cuddle my bunny
  • Do something that distract my mind and focus.
  • Listen to music
  • Take calming breaths outdoors
  • Motivate and think everything will be okay / Write a list why it will go good

I hope you manage to find a way to cope and I totally love your profile pic and name.
Thank you so, so much for sharing your experience and your tips and I'm glad that you like my name und pp! :) It's nice to hear that I'm not the only one w/ this problem and it's really cute that your bunny can help ease your anxiety~ :D
 
DwarfRabbit

DwarfRabbit

Member
Joined
Jun 30, 2020
Messages
24
Location
Germany
I just want to say I can relate to pretty much everything you wrote.
I am 41 and I have never had a real job interview. Only for volunteer jobs. Right now I don't even do volunteer work, it's all just too much stress.
I'm sorry, I have no tips, I just want to wish you the best of luck, I hope everything works out well for you.
You don't have to apologize! Thank you for sharing your experience w/ me! I hope you're doing better, tho and thank you!
 
DwarfRabbit

DwarfRabbit

Member
Joined
Jun 30, 2020
Messages
24
Location
Germany
I can relate to this too. I'm in my early thirties and I've mostly been able to get by despite feeling like a complete imposter most of the time.

There was one job where I ended up off ill for about two months because I'd driven myself over the edge but I've managed to work for most of my adult life. My only tips are to just concentrate as much on the here and now as possible and try not to second guess yourself too much. Its really difficult though.

I also find it difficult to sell myself and then get worried that I've sold a better version of me and they will be disappointed when I actually start. OCD is so much fun sometimes! 😂

As long as you haven't lied on your application there's nothing to worry about. Try to relax as much as you can before your next interview, do everything you like, nice hot bubble bath and a glass of white for me! 😁

Let us know how everything goes x
Thank you very much for sharing your experience and your tips! :)
It's rly nice to know that there are other ppl who have similar problems. Hope we can all get through this :/
 
L

Listerbug85

Active member
Joined
Nov 26, 2020
Messages
32
Location
Essex UK
Thanks DwarfRabbit, hope everything is going well for you :)
 

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