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Fear of Pregnant Women, Children, and Babies

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brodolo

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Nov 25, 2016
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I know it's technically two phobias but I think they go together. This is my first post so hi! :) Smile It's going to be pretty long so sorry in advance.

So, I have a phobia of pregnant women and children (babies in particular). Some of this may be graphic (talk of suicide, molestation, and violence) so proceed with caution.

Let's start with the fear of pregnant women. I am a woman but I probably cannot have children due to a birth defect and will never, ever be pregnant in my life so I'm not exactly scared of *childbirth* or *being* pregnant because it just doesn't apply to me. Sort of like how a man can't be phobic of being pregnant or giving birth. I am extremely phobic of pregnant women, however.

It effects my life almost daily. I frequently find myself wishing that we could segregate pregnant women and children from everyone else or not allow them in public places because I have an irrational hatred of both, which I know is awful and mean. Seeing pregnant women makes me sick to my stomach, woozy, and even angry and I actively avoid them, even if they're friends or family.

I have been this way since at least in 2nd grade, but probably long before. My 2nd grade teacher, who I absolutely adored, got pregnant and asked me to touch her belly. I was horrified and ran away and couldn't look at her until she wasn't pregnant anymore. I never thought of her in the same way after that, like she was tainted forever, even to this day. I am still disgusted by pregnant women as if they are disfigured or inhuman. I struggle to think of them as normal people. I dread seeing my cousins getting pregnant because they are all becoming that age where they get married and have kids.

Strangely I don't have any phobia about childbirth, though admittedly I do think it's kind of gross. Basically how a normal person probably feels about it lol. I actually watched a couple videos on childbirth as a child out of curiosity and didn't think it was that weird but once they showed the baby I had to turn it off or I would be sick.

Children and babies may effect me even more, infants being the worst. The younger they are the worse it is and the older the better. Generally when they are about 11-12 the phobia doesn't exist anymore.

I started hating any children younger than me at the age of 4. When I was 5 I described how babies look like ugly old men and how I didn't like them. I decided at age 6 that I would never have children. I believe that in preschool a fellow child molested me and I think this is where my phobia may come from. Ever since then my phobia and hatred of kids has gotten progressively worse and worse.

Infants make me feel ill and I think their jerky movements look inhuman and horrifying. I generally find it difficult to consider any child under 5 to even be human (again, I know this is awful but I'm just telling the truth of how I feel). I find maybe 1 out of every 100 babies cute and find the other 99 gross and ugly. Luckily I am capable of sympathy and find child abuse horrifying and would never wish any harm on children, I just cannot be around them.

However, when I hear children cry or scream, my immediate reaction is usually extreme anger and occasionally a strangely primal feeling of violence, though not towards the children themselves but instead toward a wall or some object. I am glad that I cannot have and don't want children because I would fear that the experience of raising a baby would cause me to hurt myself.

I frequently have thought that if I had no access to abortion in case I somehow got pregnant I would harm myself, get an illegal and dangerous abortion, or even kill myself. Basically I would rather be maimed or dead than pregnant or a parent. I frequently look at parents with children with pity and feel like they ruined their life or would be happier without children. I'm sometimes angry at them for "producing" my greatest fear as well.

Strangely, I am kind of thankful for my phobia because having it makes me never question my decision to never have kids, and it's nice to not second guess such a major decision.

I really really want to know if I'm the only one with these feelings. I have found info on a fear of children (pedophobia) but have not heard of anyone with a phobia of pregnant women, just pregnancy and childbirth. I really don't want to hear about how children are worth it or a blessing or that I would be happier with a child, and I ask everyone to not be angry with my feelings on it. I really can't help it and just wrote my feelings honestly.
 
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LORD BURT

LORD BURT

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I am not bothered by this phobia personally. I used to be terrified of cats and dogs as a child, but I grew out of it. Now they don't bother me, and I am actually quite fond of them.

Perhaps it is something you will grow out of too?
 
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brodolo

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I am not bothered by this phobia personally. I used to be terrified of cats and dogs as a child, but I grew out of it. Now they don't bother me, and I am actually quite fond of them.

Perhaps it is something you will grow out of too?
Unfortunately I am now 23 years old and it has gotten worse instead of better over time, so I don't know if I will grow out of it. :\
 
LORD BURT

LORD BURT

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Unfortunately I am now 23 years old and it has gotten worse instead of better over time, so I don't know if I will grow out of it. :\
Is it causing you distress? Does it make you feel bad in a way that affects your life?

If it is - you maybe should speak to a counselor?
 
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brodolo

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Is it causing you distress? Does it make you feel bad in a way that affects your life?

If it is - you maybe should speak to a counselor?
I have been to counselors before but I never brought it up because I never really thought of it as a phobia until recently. It definitely does effect my life and makes going out usually a bad experience. I think the next time I go to a counselor I will bring it up.
 
LORD BURT

LORD BURT

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I have been to counselors before but I never brought it up because I never really thought of it as a phobia until recently. It definitely does effect my life and makes going out usually a bad experience. I think the next time I go to a counselor I will bring it up.
It is an irrational fear I think. TBH I don't recall seeing many pregnant ladies, when I am out in town. I do tend to see little babies in prams though. I went through a phase where I thought they were really cute, now I can't be bothered with them. I think it must be a lot of hassle taking a baby carrier everywhere. Especially the ones who go on buses.
 
BorderlineDownunder

BorderlineDownunder

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I have been to counselors before but I never brought it up because I never really thought of it as a phobia until recently. It definitely does effect my life and makes going out usually a bad experience. I think the next time I go to a counselor I will bring it up.
then its most likely not a phobia.

Phobias result in racing heartbeat, sweating, involuntary physical reactions.

Sounds more like a sensitivity than a phobia imho. Which is not to say its not uncomfortable and distracting, but it may just as easily be temporary or just something you grow out of.



Once you consider a good % of the women walking past you every day actually are pregnant you just cant see it - well, maybe that would help a bit?
 
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brodolo

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then its most likely not a phobia.

Phobias result in racing heartbeat, sweating, involuntary physical reactions.

Sounds more like a sensitivity than a phobia imho. Which is not to say its not uncomfortable and distracting, but it may just as easily be temporary or just something you grow out of.



Once you consider a good % of the women walking past you every day actually are pregnant you just cant see it - well, maybe that would help a bit?
Hmm, well I do experience physical reactions like nausea, increased heart rate, and a fevered flush when I encounter pregnant women and babies.. I don't exactly know what constitutes a phobia because like I said I have never spoken with a counselor about it.
Considering I have had this fear my entire life and it has gotten significantly worse I doubt I will grow out of it, I can only hope at this point to control it.

And honestly, imagining that there are women who are pregnant and I can't tell makes my anxieties worse. It makes me weary of all women of "child-bearing age". I know this because my mother had suggested that way of thinking and I was inconsolable for at least a week afterwards. It's not just the pregnant belly that makes me ill (though that is an aspect of it), it is the very idea of pregnancy.
 
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Izera

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then its most likely not a phobia.

Phobias result in racing heartbeat, sweating, involuntary physical reactions.
I could easily be wrong, but I thought that phobias tended to trigger the "flight" reaction in our "fight or flight" response system, which explains the physical symptoms. brodolo's symptoms sounds like the "fight" reaction is being triggered instead, so it could still be a phobia if viewed in that light.
 
BorderlineDownunder

BorderlineDownunder

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it must make life very difficult

pregnant women are EVERYWHERE :eek2:
 
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