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Fear of people I used to know prior to having MI anyone else experience this?

Unique1

Unique1

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Fear of people I used to know prior to having MI anyone else experience this?

I cut people out if my life, when I began to struggle.
The fear of seeing them if I go out affects my whole life.
 
SomersetScorpio

SomersetScorpio

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I can really understand your anxiety around seeing people from your past.:hug1:
I'm fortunate in a way that I live in a different town from where I grew up. It's close enough that I feel confident but not so close that I have to fear seeing anybody that really knows my full history in the supermarket.

Is there a specific fear you have around being confronted when you cut them out of your life, or is it a general sense that you don't want them to see you since you've been unwell?
 
Unique1

Unique1

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I can really understand your anxiety around seeing people from your past.:hug1:
I'm fortunate in a way that I live in a different town from where I grew up. It's close enough that I feel confident but not so close that I have to fear seeing anybody that really knows my full history in the supermarket.

Is there a specific fear you have around being confronted when you cut them out of your life, or is it a general sense that you don't want them to see you since you've been unwell?
Hi thank you for replying, ive seriously thought of moving because of it, but it would be such an upheaval not sure I could cope.
It's a bit of both of the things you mention, it's the confrontation and the questions and the where have you been, and what are you doing now. The possible judging.My life has totally changed. some of them I know have taken my sudden cut off personally. Some are strong characters who I just couldn't cope with any more.it really affects my life so much. I live in fear of it, and I could easily meet them when out as I live in close proximity. It affects me so so much.
Feels better to know someone else feels similar, I'm glad you are far enough away, as its torture tbh. Xxx
 
StillFighting

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Hi Unique, I also cut a lot of people out of my life over the years. Both where I live now, and where I grew up. I don't get to see them; but at times they may send me a message on fb for example, and that scares the hell out of me. I still struggle with depression. I still struggle with anxiety. So yeah.. I don't know what to tell them.

Sorry I don't have any words of wisdom right now. Just wanted you to know I understand.
 
SomersetScorpio

SomersetScorpio

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I understand how hard it is.

Before I moved, I used to dread going into the supermarket.
I always somehow seemed to see someone I knew there and several of my former classmates seemed to be working in all of the local supermarkets, so no shop was particularly safe.
And that whole heart speeding up and trying to hide when you see someone.. yeah, it's awful. :hug1:

Do you think that having a little speech ready to give someone would help?
Sometimes i've been very vague and said i've dealt with some health issues but am better now.. they don't have to know what kind of health issues and if they ask i'd say it's personal.

Also, I wonder, do you feel you have any judgement towards yourself for how life has been and is for you?
I think other people's potential scrutiny can be all the more painful if someone is already hard on themselves.
And so if you can be compassionate towards yourself and know that you have been through a lot, perhaps the fear of what others might say won't be so bad?
I know, this is all easier said than done. x
 
Unique1

Unique1

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Hi Unique, I also cut a lot of people out of my life over the years. Both where I live now, and where I grew up. I don't get to see them; but at times they may send me a message on fb for example, and that scares the hell out of me. I still struggle with depression. I still struggle with anxiety. So yeah.. I don't know what to tell them.

Sorry I don't have any words of wisdom right now. Just wanted you to know I understand.
Thank you.
I understand what you say. I came off face book because of it :( x
 
Unique1

Unique1

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I understand how hard it is.

Before I moved, I used to dread going into the supermarket.
I always somehow seemed to see someone I knew there and several of my former classmates seemed to be working in all of the local supermarkets, so no shop was particularly safe.
And that whole heart speeding up and trying to hide when you see someone.. yeah, it's awful. :hug1:

Do you think that having a little speech ready to give someone would help?
Sometimes i've been very vague and said i've dealt with some health issues but am better now.. they don't have to know what kind of health issues and if they ask i'd say it's personal.

Also, I wonder, do you feel you have any judgement towards yourself for how life has been and is for you?
I think other people's potential scrutiny can be all the more painful if someone is already hard on themselves.
And so if you can be compassionate towards yourself and know that you have been through a lot, perhaps the fear of what others might say won't be so bad?
I know, this is all easier said than done. x
Yes I've thought of the speech idea, it's just so hard because it was such a sudden thing and I kind of can understand why they would think wtf happened too. Although in some ways I did have some valid reasons, I could cope when I was well but once I got ill I just couldn't face the supposed jokes, which when your ill can hurt. Not many speech things to cover the circumstances.
And you are right I'm extremely hard on myself, on waiting list for phsychology sessions I'm hoping it may help. Feel quite trapped at times. It may be that I do have to consider a move in the end to help me progress.
Thank you so much for replying xxxx
 
FriendsAreFriends

FriendsAreFriends

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Are you ashamed to struggle mentaly? You should not be...are you ashamed when you got the flu? I know it is hard. But you need to be proud and strong, and your friends just might be the ones to support you.

"Loneliness can be your best friend - if you have a rich inner life":)

Kenneth.
 
Unique1

Unique1

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Are you ashamed to struggle mentaly? You should not be...are you ashamed when you got the flu? I know it is hard. But you need to be proud and strong, and your friends just might be the ones to support you.

"Loneliness can be your best friend - if you have a rich inner life":)

Kenneth.
Thank you for the response Kenneth.
I guess I do feel the stigma of it all, a lot.
The friends I mention, well the majority of them ,did not understand MI. One of the reasons I felt the need to cut them off. I could no longer be the life and soul, and listen to the so called banter that was actually sometimes quite rude. I guess they would say I was sensitive ..
Understand what you say about friends being supportive I believe some really can be, but some can make you feel vulnerable.
 
StillFighting

StillFighting

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It makes sense to me what you're saying in your last post. I found out that most of my friends could not understand mental health issues, and didn't have the slightest clue on how to help.

I remember once, 6 or so years ago, I was feeling suicidal and very unsafe, and called a friend to be there with me. I didn't tell her anything about feeling suicidal, just that I was not feeling well. And when she came, and I told her that I was feeling bad, her response was "You're not helping yourself". I still remember the helplessness I felt when I heard that response.

It can be very lonely and isolating, and people often expect someone to snap out of it, and don't understand why you're not in a more lighthearted mood. And usually, it doesn't work this way.

Sorry, I hope I'm not hijacking your thread. Just thought I'd share that, because I felt I could relate. Please, let me know if you mind or I'm not helping though. And lots of hugs for you anyway :hug1:
 
Unique1

Unique1

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It makes sense to me what you're saying in your last post. I found out that most of my friends could not understand mental health issues, and didn't have the slightest clue on how to help.

I remember once, 6 or so years ago, I was feeling suicidal and very unsafe, and called a friend to be there with me. I didn't tell her anything about feeling suicidal, just that I was not feeling well. And when she came, and I told her that I was feeling bad, her response was "You're not helping yourself". I still remember the helplessness I felt when I heard that response.

It can be very lonely and isolating, and people often expect someone to snap out of it, and don't understand why you're not in a more lighthearted mood. And usually, it doesn't work this way.

Sorry, I hope I'm not hijacking your thread. Just thought I'd share that, because I felt I could relate. Please, let me know if you mind or I'm not helping though. And lots of hugs for you anyway :hug1:
Thank you, don't mind at all :)
Yes associate so much with what you say, and I know at times its not friends fault because if they havnt experienced it, it must be hard for them to understand, and each person who suffers with a MI can be quite individual in how they suffer, so it's difficult to understand, some can go out some can't, etc. but a lot of people make me feel vulnerable if I tell them, and don't understand, and react kind of like you mention.which makes it so hard to tell people. I know that it is suppose to be good for us to tell and be honest and not ashamed, and I believe there is some truth in that, but I personally still feel the stigma a lot, I'm not blaming people for not understanding, of course it's not their fault. But most of the time I just don't feel I can tell people from my experiences when I have told them, which have not been particularly good. Thanks for responding, I've rambled a bit here sorry, but basically it's still very difficult to be really open and honest about a mental illness IMO. Xxx
 
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Helena1

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i hate that too. i dont go out when i am at my parent's house for same reasons. luckily i have flat now where no one knows me.
 
katya

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I know what you mean. I dread asking people I used to know asking me how I am. Please try to see cutting them out as a positive step - people who don't understand how you're suffering and are only going to say something callous or hurtful aren't worth your time. Try to walk past them with your head held high knowing you're putting yourself first. Having said that, I know it's hard; it's not even so much seeing them as the fear you might see them!
 
Unique1

Unique1

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I know what you mean. I dread asking people I used to know asking me how I am. Please try to see cutting them out as a positive step - people who don't understand how you're suffering and are only going to say something callous or hurtful aren't worth your time. Try to walk past them with your head held high knowing you're putting yourself first. Having said that, I know it's hard; it's not even so much seeing them as the fear you might see them!
Thank you jruth.
What you say is so true :) xx
 

MarlieeB

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That's the only good thing about going to a School no where near my hometown, no one lives here x

:hug1:'s to you all

xxx
 
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