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Fear of loosing control violenty

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Dottyone

Guest
I fear people in a way i cant describe, i told my pychologist it's like being naked around people, i am always scared if someone gets shouty or pushses me i will loose control and not stop until they are really not moving.

I've been beaten not from family but others, too much i fear the switch on someone who tries to hurt me next.

I am behaving like a shouty monster to strangers, then after i hate myself.
 
Last edited:
Mayflower7

Mayflower7

Well-known member
Moderator
Joined
Jan 4, 2013
Messages
9,874
Location
England
Hi,
I'm sorry your going through this, counselling may help you. Visit your GP they can refer you for counselling.
Many of us become shouty, hopefully counselling will address this.
Here to listen anytime
Take care
 
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Dottyone

Guest
I am.under cmht care for a long time but no real progress.

I just keep on joking to hide.
 
Mayflower7

Mayflower7

Well-known member
Moderator
Joined
Jan 4, 2013
Messages
9,874
Location
England
I am.under cmht care for a long time but no real progress.

I just keep on joking to hide.
Hi,
I'm sorry to hear that, maybe try writing a journal in the journals section. It will help you identify triggers for your anger.
I'm here to listen anytime, I won't judge you.
Take care
 
ellieindy

ellieindy

Active member
Joined
Apr 21, 2017
Messages
36
Location
England
I can relate somewhat to what you're going through, as my anger can get very uncontrollable sometimes. Most of the time I attack myself when I'm angry, but sometimes, if I feel scared, threatened or like I'm being made fun of, I can turn and become violent with other people.
I'm a very small person - female and five foot one - so I know I'd get flattened or killed, and often when I lash out at people, it's always me that gets injured. But one time my sister's friends made fun of me for being mentally ill and acting strange, so I completely flipped out in a daze, and hit my sister. To this day, I still feel incredible guilt over that moment, and it was nearly four years ago. I would never do that again to my sister, brother, or anybody else that is young, but when my parents make me feel threatened, that's a trigger for my violence, and often it is me that gets hurt rather than them.
To prevent violence, I try to remind myself that I'd either a) hurt someone undeserving and that would either have serious consequences or make me a terrible person, like in the case with my sister, or b) start something that will only end in getting myself hurt or killed.

Saying it's like "being naked" is a very apt way of describing the feeling, I completely understand. :) Have you ever tried "mindfulness" or meditation before? It may help to concentrate on breathing and clearing your mind when you start to get irritated about something - though I know from first hand experience that it doesn't help much with sudden flashes of anger.
 
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