Fear of heartbeat, and fear of sleeping because of it

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littlepixiez

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I'm terrified of my heartbeat. I hate that my life is controlled by my heart. It's a small muscle and it's so powerful. It's in control, I am not. I hate it.

I wish somebody could snap me out of this horrific phobia. I can't stop thinking about it because it's always there, always beating.

It's horrible.

I get happy and then I stop, remembering I have a heartbeat, I'm human, and if I'm alive and not here to live a crazy life, I'm just here to be a mammal, because I have a heartbeat. I'm not here to have a job, or love.. I'm here to eat, survive, reproduce and die.

I can't sleep because I feel like every night I am going to die, and by sleeping I'm giving up on my life.

I'm suffering from depression anxiety, but this phobia won't go away.

It's horrible. I hate having it. I wish somebody could convince me my heart is my friend and not my enemy.

I seem to think my body just wants me to die. :(
 
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IntrospectionFtw!

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Sounds like ocd when i took medications and other substances i was always terrified i was gonna have a heart attack really self concious and honed in on every little beat used to drive me nuts..i just got over it by saying fuck it have a heart attack donno if that will help you...but yes we are very fragile beings just flesh and bone and could die any time for any reason and that can be overwhelming sometimes and if you spend alot of time alone cause of depression of other reasons you can spend too much time thinking about these things
maybe disect a pigs heart or something face your demon!?!??!?!?!
 
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IntrospectionFtw!

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lol whats lamb heart taste like? would prolly do it...or watch that scene from indiana jones where the shaman rips the guys heart out.
 
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rapha76

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I suffer from the exact same fear

I get really uncomfortable when I can feel/hear my heart beating. I don't really know why it freaks me out so much, but just like you, it makes me think about life and always leads to scary thoughts. Please let me know if you find something that helps you cope with your fear. I'm lost and desperate to get rid of this phobia. You have to live with your heart every second of every day and I just get overwhelmed thinking about how messed up I am.
 
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littlepixiez

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I get really uncomfortable when I can feel/hear my heart beating. I don't really know why it freaks me out so much, but just like you, it makes me think about life and always leads to scary thoughts. Please let me know if you find something that helps you cope with your fear. I'm lost and desperate to get rid of this phobia. You have to live with your heart every second of every day and I just get overwhelmed thinking about how messed up I am.
Trust me. I'm trying to find a way to cope with it. I promise I'll get in touch if I found any solution. It's nice to know however that it's not a one-person phobia. Good luck. xxx
 
Hammy

Hammy

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Man it freaks me the hell out, i'm not paranoid of a heart attack or unhealthy problems as the such its the beating itself,running through the veins and being able to constantly feel it.Even as a kid i didn't like it at school they'd teach you about hearts and the human body...****.

After i do a run or exercise i can feel it beating through my arms,running through the back of my head it makes me incredibly uncomfortable and i wish i didn't have to feel it i try to accept it but i just can't.This is the only thing i've found on the subject so thanks for making this.
 
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EndoftheRoad

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Scared of my own heartbeat.

I'm Dave from the UK. I've been terrified at the thought of my heart beating inside me since I had palpitations on several occasions when I was 19. I'm 36 now and I have good days and bad but things have gotten a lot worse since I stopped smoking. I get anxious and have panic attacks all the time now so much so that I feel like commiting suicide. I see that it's been a long time since anyone has posted on this thread but I would really like to speak to other people like myself. Maybe it will help me and others to talk about things.
 
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Rose19602

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Hi Dave!
Welcome to the forum!
This is an old thread...maybe a new one is warranted!

I can see what you mean about it being an interesting one though..palpitations and panic are scary things to deal with, and I can understand why they play on your mind.

I'm not a smoker...but does stopping smoking cause anxiety? Not sure. Maybe not to the level that you feel sucidal, but possibly a side effect...maybe?

I think that when we are anxious we magnify and concentrate on things that have triggered anxious reactions. I know I do this, and cannot get the "feeling" and "memory" out of my head. It takes very little to trigger the same reaction in a similar situation on the 2nd / 3rd or other occasions...and the anxiety sort of takes over and becomes so hard to control.

It sounds like you had some kind of panic reaction which scared the life out of you, and you've thought about it in the context of your heart beating fast since, and can't help prevoking that situation and fear again perhaps?

Perhaps next time it happens...allow it to wash over you and acknowledge that it eventually stops and that nothing too terrible happens. Acknowledging that you really will be OK does help I find....it gradually reduces the fear.

Anyway, keep posting and talking.
You're right...it helps to talk about it, and there are many people on here who can offer excellent support and advice.

take care
x
 
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phoenix13

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i know what you're talking about. it's a horrible feeling. i don't have it all the time but at certain times, especially if i've been sick, or stressed for a while and i'm trying to rest or come down. i hate having my blood pressure checked because i feel the heartbeat in my hands and it drives me absolutely nuts. other times i'm terrified that my heart isn't beating fast or hard enough and it might just stop at any moment. good, i've had health, panic and depression issues for a very long time and i know that is part of it. what has helped me recently and VERY quickly is Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) and Tapas Acupressure Technique (TAT) to take the charge out of all that panic. i am much more calm about it, especially if i "tap on it" (an EFT term) before i get to a 10 on the panic scale. might be something to look into. hope it helps.
be well! :)
 
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EndoftheRoad

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It sounds like you have EXACTLY the same problem as me. Mine isn't all the time either as long as I smoke (which I started again recently due to freaking out all the timw when I didn't smoke). I don't know if that's a psychological thing or not and I do want to stop smoking. I don't like having my blood pressure taken either, lol.
 
NicoretteGummed

NicoretteGummed

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I'm extremely grateful that you brought this up Pixieez as I have suffered in the past with precisely with what you've posted but have felt too ashamed too bring it up on here fearing people would just label me a hypochondriac.

I smoke about 12 a day and I've been told I should worry about my lungs but I don't worry about them or any other part of my body but my heart and about this I worry well too excessively.

It's like a vicious cycle isn't it??

You worry, your heartrate goes up, you worry, your heartrate goes up even more and so on and so on.

In my view this could revolve around a latent mental illness which it did with me.

Chemically there are three ways out of it; Diazepam which is addictive and the medics increasingly hate giving it out, Beta-Blockers which physically slow the heart rate down but do nothing for mental anxiety and Pregablin which is good for mental anxiety but does nothing for the physical side.

Unless you are addicted to alcohol or//and Illegal drugs you should not find it too hard to get prescribed Beta-Blockers or Pregablin.

Both are probably the answer to your problems.

I've never been prescribed both at the same time.

I'm used to be prescribed Beta-Blockers and not Pregablin and now it's the other way around.

I do miss Beta-Blockers but not excessively.
 
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EndoftheRoad

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Mine os more of a mental thing I think but I do freak out when my heart is beating due to doing something to cause my heart rate to raise or when I'm having my blood pressure taken. Like you it's only my heart I worry about and mainly want to stop smoking for financial reasons. I roll my own and snoke like a train so I'm on half oz a day.
 
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Hakuna Matata

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I have the EXACT combination of the OP's and your symptoms, Dave. I hate being so dependent on my heart and having to listen to my heart all day and making it beat even faster by thinking about it. Basically it controls me, I am even afraid to work out. And I know exactly what you mean by not wanting to live at some points. And it's not like I don't want to live per se, that's not it, I don't feel depressed or particularly unhappy, but when the panic attacks do occur they are so terrifying and so suffocating and when I feel like my heart is going to stop just like that, those are the moments I don't want to live because it makes my life absolute hell. The most important thing is not to self-diagnose. For the past couple of years I have had all kinds of diseases from cancer to, now, heart disease (all of them in my head).

Have you had your heart checked out? Having someone other than yourself tell you that nothing is wrong does wonders to the peace of mind. Also, think about it, if you had those heart problems that you described at 19 and now you're in your 30-ies, what does that tell you? You made it this far, everything is OK! I had a terrible thing a year ago where my heart didn't skip a beat just once or twice, it continued in a chain for HOURS, and I told myself I was dead that night, but guaranteed that at the time it was because I smoked very excessively and a LOT more than usual in the days leading up to the episode.

Speaking of smoking, I agree that smoking somehow makes it better, even though it obviously speeds up my heart rate. It really does relieve some stress. And whenever I would completely stop smoking, that's when I also noticed I started getting bad palpitations, I don't know if it was mental stress from not smoking or the fact that the body is in shock from such instant cessation.

Hope this was at least a touch useful and I didn't ramble on, it's nice to be able to share with people having the same problems.
 
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Dorman4321

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Wow, I'm glad that there are other people like me... I will lay in bed at night and that seems like its the only time it really happens significantly. It will get to the point where I'm checking my pulse in my wrist just to see that it's beating fine. And it always is. But I get freaked out and my heart will start beating even faster and so on. Sometimes I'll even get out of my bed and stand up and then I feel kind of crazy. I have to try to realize that I'm fine. I'm only 19 I've been told I have a heart murmur from a doctor but he said its nothing bad at all and a lot of people have them. But I think the knowing of having this heart murmur has freaked me out even more? I'm not sure why tho. My heart beats nice and healthy but we are all dependent on our heart and hearing it beat or the thought of it stopping just scares the hell out of me. When I'm up and walking around during the day I feel fine and don't really think about it. But again I feel good that other people have this so I know I'm not completely crazy. But if anyone knows a way to mentally help this I would like to know. I don't necessary want to take medication because I don't think that would be the best route. But thanks for reading. ;)
 
NicoretteGummed

NicoretteGummed

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I don't fear my heart stopping.

I fear that it will speed up and explode.

Distraction techniques are the ones that help the most such as listening to music, Playing an Instrument, or Gardening.

Forget about breathing techniques, Relaxation Therapy and meditation; if your really anxious most of the time these things will just make you worse
 
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jamesy69ni

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hi i also seem to be this way ,, my heart anoys me i just feel it beat all at the wrong times ,, bed time is when i notice it the most , which i cant get a sleep ,ive got work in 2 hours and 10 mins and havent slept all night because of it ive tossed and turned , trying to think of something that will take my mind of my fast beating heart and make me fall asleep , but no i ended up just gettin out of bed on to the laptop to read up about it ,,, i wouldnt say im depressed or anything like that , more pissed of that i cant get to sleep lol , suppose i gotta go see the doctor ,
 
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littlepixiez

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Hi everyone.

I made this post three years ago when I was in a really dark place. I've had health anxiety for 10 years which has differed at times in intensity. When I get depressed or anxious it always multiplies, and my physical symptoms always convince me there's something wrong, but it's important to remember that your mind can trick your body into thinking you're ill.

I'm so sorry I haven't posted sooner. At this time, I couldn't stop crying - I was trapped in my body, I hated not being in control of my life and that broke me. I went on 10mg of Citalopram and that got my anxiety under control. When I was calmer I bought numerous self help books, which always help me as it's nice for people to acknowledge your pain.

What helped me enormously was a book called "Overcoming Health Anxiety" (Rob Willson and David Veale). I started hating my body and hating the control it had me under. I hated my heart as I saw it as a ticking time bomb. But this book reminded me that even if you had a threatening illness, even if there was something wrong, and even if there wasn't - your heart will not give up on you easily. It taught me, that our bodies are designed to keep us alive. It's our survival instinct. It's our subconscious which does all these bodily functions and they won't give out on us until they've tried their absolute hardest. And I know this may not help everybody, but it helped me because I felt like I was no longer at war with my body.

Now I still hate heartbeats. I still hate brains. I hate the idea of instant death. My sister has a phobia of cancer. It's all different. But with a heartbeat, it doesn't define who you are... all you can do is try to be healthy, try to do cardio to help your heart, nurture it and do all you can and trust that it will do the rest for you.

It still freaks me out, writing this freaks me out, but I can go to a different place with it now, it doesn't blindly make me go crazy. I don't like listening to my partner's heartbeat either. It's all about accepting to give up the control you desire to control your survival.

I just hope everyone who has posted on here takes some sort of peace that you can get passed it.. it does get easier. And I am deeply thankful for the replies.

I still have glimpses of health anxiety very often... and it is important to go to the doctor. But it's also important to trust your body is doing what it needs to to survive. And that your heart is the leader of your body along with your brain and they won't give up on you easily.

Sorry for blabbering on... Good luck everybody... xxx
 
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njame

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Thanks a lot it is very good post. I like your post so much. I think every body like your post. I want to give you good news please follow our site..
 
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apsnowhite

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Hello all, I'm sorry to reignite this post but I am so pleased to have come across this. I thought I was alone, going mad. My heart controls every second of my life, there is not a second that goes by that I don't think about it, it is on my mind constantly. I do not sleep until I physically cannot stay awake any longer in fear that falling asleep is going to kill me. I can feel my heart beat constantly, I have been to the doctors numerous times and had many ecgs all of which are normal. I spend at least an hour every day researching heart problems and am absolutely convinced that my heart is in trouble and is going to kill me. I suffer from gad so am constantly anxious because of this fear of heart failure/attack which increases the intensity of the fear. I am fully consumed by the presence of my heart, I don't dare do any exercise, I avoid any physical activity, even walking up the stairs terrifies me. I cannot sleep alone incase something happens and no one is there to use cpr on me. I have even looked up buying a defibrillator for my house to prepare for the worst. I have an app on my phone that can detach the nearest defibs, I have to be close to one at all times. Doctors have said my heart is fine but I don't believe them. Does anyone get any other symptoms like pain? Thank you all for this feed, I no longer feel alone! :) Sorry for the essay, it's just so nice to talk with people that understand!
 
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