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Fear of FAILURE

Q

Quietman5

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 10, 2018
Messages
53
failure is the one word that adequately describes me. Unfortunately I am fearful that i will not be able to overcome my next epic failure and then it’s over. Is there anyone out there who can help me?
 
Someone_alone

Someone_alone

Well-known member
Joined
May 15, 2020
Messages
58
Location
South Africa
Failure is a necessity if we don't fail at things we never really learn because we're just in our comfort zone. Failure is natural as well so its better to accept it, learn from it, and then grow to be better. Everyone fails so its also nothing to be ashamed of we've all been through it. Iv failed so many people, tests, tasks, etc. but you know what's worse than failure, never trying in the first place because of the fear of failure. Its much better to say I tried and failed than to say iv never tried because I didn't want to fail. Aswell by taking risks where failure is a possibility so is success, it's 50 50.

Start believing in yourself, you are strong and capable and I believe in you
 
K

Kittylove

Well-known member
Joined
May 13, 2019
Messages
446
Location
Canada
Hi. We will eventually fail at something. You just have to persevere and stay strong. You will overcome it.
 
LORD BURT

LORD BURT

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Joined
Jul 8, 2013
Messages
34,549
Location
Mordor
Failing can be a lot of fun and can bring a refreshing outlook on life.
 
R_Sxo

R_Sxo

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Joined
Apr 24, 2017
Messages
3,030
Location
Pyongyang, DPRK
The problem with having a irrational fear of failure is that in many ways its also a fear of being inadequate - that is, that the reason you're failing is because you're not good enough. So having a fear of failure naturally means that you might try things less, because that way you're less likely to see that perceived inadequacy. In essence, as with many fears, it's about removing an uncomfortable feeling.

The key to overcoming fear of failure is to become comfortable with it. It sounds weird at first, but it's natural if you think about it. If humans aren't perfect, then by definition we all have flaws and make mistakes, and thus 'fail' in some way. You're not going to get 100% every time, so don't let the chance of failure deter you from the chance of success and growth. You might not feel inadequate and anxious if you don't try things, but you also miss out on growing as a person and learning more about yourself and the world. There's lots of info online about how to be comfortable with failure - defo recommend you check that out, I think it would really help you out x
 
P

Purpleplum

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 7, 2020
Messages
988
Location
nowhere
If you think you'll fail then you probably will and vice versa. You body wants to prove your mind is right. It's a self-fulfilling prophecy. You need to change those thoughts and you'll see less failures.
 
Debo

Debo

Member
Joined
Jun 22, 2020
Messages
24
Location
Minnesota
I think part of my agoraphobia comes from my fear of making mistakes I can’t recover from. I know I’m not the failure my family would like me to believe I am, but I feel like I can’t afford to hand them any more ammunition.
 
LORD BURT

LORD BURT

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 8, 2013
Messages
34,549
Location
Mordor
Failing can be so much fun. Only the conditioned mind feels it is not useful.
 
Q

Quietman5

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 10, 2018
Messages
53
The problem with having a irrational fear of failure is that in many ways its also a fear of being inadequate - that is, that the reason you're failing is because you're not good enough. So having a fear of failure naturally means that you might try things less, because that way you're less likely to see that perceived inadequacy. In essence, as with many fears, it's about removing an uncomfortable feeling.

The key to overcoming fear of failure is to become comfortable with it. It sounds weird at first, but it's natural if you think about it. If humans aren't perfect, then by definition we all have flaws and make mistakes, and thus 'fail' in some way. You're not going to get 100% every time, so don't let the chance of failure deter you from the chance of success and growth. You might not feel inadequate and anxious if you don't try things, but you also miss out on growing as a person and learning more about yourself and the world. There's lots of info online about how to be comfortable with failure - defo recommend you check that out, I think it would really help you out x
The problem I have with failure is that i feel I am publically humiliated each time I fail. This continues into a vicious cycle of self loathing and hate. Plus I walk a thin line based on safe vs unsafe. How do I end this irrational fear I have had for over 45 years?
 
R_Sxo

R_Sxo

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 24, 2017
Messages
3,030
Location
Pyongyang, DPRK
The problem I have with failure is that i feel I am publically humiliated each time I fail. This continues into a vicious cycle of self loathing and hate. Plus I walk a thin line based on safe vs unsafe. How do I end this irrational fear I have had for over 45 years?
Good question! It's interesting that you say you feel publicly humiliated each time you fail. Is there someone in particular that humiliates you? Or is it feeling that by failing, you humiliate and let yourself down? Truth is, unless there is someone that really keeps going for you, many times we can feel humiliated because of our expectations and fear of failure, even when no one else is paying attention or cares. Like you say, it can be a vicious cycle, so it will take work to break it, but it's defo worth it for your long-term happiness :)
 
T

TyFence

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 21, 2020
Messages
202
Location
NorCal
@Quietman5 Try some things, small things and see what it like to succeed an fail. Boil an egg, make a sand which. Each time it will teach you how to do it better. Take a walk, buy a paper or a soda, say hi to someone. You get stronger and better at everything you do.
 
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