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Fear of becoming unhealthy



I think I have a phobia of being unhealthy. It's just that I was very very unhealthy and overweight maybe like 3 years ago, and due to being overweight I had some other medical issues as well. Thankfully I am free of those now, as I started exercising and I lost more than 15 kilos and I'm at a healthy weight finally.
Although, at random times I get this extreme panic that I'll put all the weight back on even though I know it is unrealistic since I have been maintaining a healthy diet and routine. From time to time I have nightmares that I am overweight again or those medical issues I had had have returned, and it is very scary. So much of my life revolves around my weight. I wish I could stop obsessing about it. At first when I started exercising I liked it, but now it has become more of a thing where I feel compelled to do it and if I don't I feel very very guilty. Sometimes I try to suppress the guilt and fear, and I can for weeks at end but then all of a sudden it comes out and I'll have like a crying/panicking session alone. I stopped enjoying exercise. Whenever I do now all of those bad memories come back, like being bullied for being overweight, crying because I was overweight, etc. Now I mostly cry during my exercise sessions. It is confusing because the weight loss happened very quickly and even though it wasn't long ago that I was overweight, I feel like I was a different person then, I feel very detached from myself back then, and that detachment itself is very scary.


Nov 25, 2014
i think its quite normal to look back at not feel like the person we once were, especially if something significant has happened. have you ever talked to therapist about your exercise anxieties? they maybe able to train your thought back round to enjoying it x
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