- Dec 30, 2020
I haven't gotten a diagnosis yet though my therapist and psychiatrist suspect that I have bipolar. Here's a random question. During hypomania, do you ever get tired. Yes, there is obviously a lot of energy that goes on but do you ever find yourself wanting caffeine to get through the day. Last night I decided to wait to take my meds since I knew it'd make me tired. I had a caffeine pill and stayed up all night then took the meds at 5:30am (supposed to be taken before bed). I was tired for a couple hours because of it but had a caffeine pill before 9am and was good the rest of the day. It's almost 7pm and I still feel energized. But not exactly that manic-like energy I had earlier today. I stayed up all night writing music, but it's not like I'm constantly experiencing symptoms. I honestly think I am not bipolar and I think all my manic symptoms are just attributed to my ambitious, goal-oriented, over achieving personality and desire for control and purpose in life that makes me want to work on projects and get a lot done even when I should be sleeping. But I don't know, is it normal for energy to kind of ebb and flow in hypomania or is it always constant. I also feel a lot of depression to goes that coexists at the moment. How long can or does mixed episodes typically last? It's been like this for awhile. I feel mostly depressed for most of the time but then still experience hypomanic symptoms at different times during this as well. It's really confusing. Also, maybe I'm "addicted" to feeling manic and so that's why I want to schedule these all nighters and productive days, or I simply just want to find productivity in my life, in a very extreme way because I am very obsessive as well about things like schedules, productivity, goals, etc. Maybe it overlaps with other things. I don't even know anymore.