Father speaking negatively about my situation

M

Mexis

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My father speaks to me as if he is the master of wisdom. "I have lived for many years", "Are you the only one feeling bad?", "We all work, even when mentally ill", "You have to do the work, healthcare isn't gonna help you", "You have to learn to understand yourself", "I guarantee you that in 13 years you will still be stuck in the same place", etc. He shows absolutely no insight or humility about my situation. Not even our meeting with my wise doctor has changed his mind. He still seems to think I'm a weak-minded b*tch who doesn't want to do the work.
 
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Zoe1

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oh yes , my Dad is a bit like that its very ' old school '
and very toxic to my mental health
do you live with him ?
is there any chance of you getting some space from him

my dad lives about 100 miles away now
and I love him more from a distance !

:grouphug:
 
daffy

daffy

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I’ve a family member like that. He’s always saying ‘We all get depression, you’ve just gotta get on with it’ and ‘ I’ve had depression and it’s never stopped me from doing anything ‘ why would we need psychiatrists if we could ‘just get on with it’
 
M

Mexis

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I’ve a family member like that. He’s always saying ‘We all get depression, you’ve just gotta get on with it’ and ‘ I’ve had depression and it’s never stopped me from doing anything ‘ why would we need psychiatrists if we could ‘just get on with it’
Mental illness is still incredibly stigmatized by society. They still think we just need to get ourselves together when that is far from the truth. They aren't in our bodies so they can't say what is wrong with us. Yet that is exactly what they do. They speak about me as if they are wiser than me because they are parents and know the truth about me. How can they know what my problem is if they aren't in my brain and body? How can they be so sure of their conclusions? Where is the humility in their response? There's nothing I can say to them that will make them change their minds. They will always think "You're weak-minded", "You lack motivation", "You have too much spare time to think about these things", "You're focusing on yourself, focus outside!", etc.
 
M

Mexis

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oh yes , my Dad is a bit like that its very ' old school '
and very toxic to my mental health
do you live with him ?
is there any chance of you getting some space from him

my dad lives about 100 miles away now
and I love him more from a distance !

:grouphug:
Yes, I do because I am not in Stockholm anymore because I didn't intend to study and they didn't accept me being in their apartment there for this reason and I don't have my own home. Healthcare will try to get me my own apartment so I can move away from my family and live on my own terms, but it will likely take months so I have to live with my parents for the time being. I also don't like the idea that the psychiatry charged me with 100 SEK for each voluntary day visit at their ward, for a total of 400 SEK. I was shocked when I got the charge afterwards. It's not respectable towards me who don't currently have any income and very little money and am waiting to apply for disability compensation.
 
midnightphoenix

midnightphoenix

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My own dad doesnt know about my mental health problems. Havent had anything to do with him since before my disagnosises. I hope i never see him again.

None of my family know.
 
Someoldguy

Someoldguy

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My own dad doesnt know about my mental health problems. Havent had anything to do with him since before my disagnosises. I hope i never see him again.

None of my family know.
I can completely understand this. Every 'friend' and family member I confided in treat me completely differently now, and not in a good way. I'm seeking out better friends. As for the family, they no longer attempt to contact me. So it goes.
 
M

Mexis

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I’ve a family member like that. He’s always saying ‘We all get depression, you’ve just gotta get on with it’ and ‘ I’ve had depression and it’s never stopped me from doing anything ‘ why would we need psychiatrists if we could ‘just get on with it’
The important message from these rants is that it's not we sufferers who are the problem here, but those who speak to us in these ways. They just don't understand our situation and want to pretend they do because they are part of our families.
 
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