• Welcome! It’s great to see you. Our forum members are people, maybe like yourself, who experience mental health difficulties or who have had them at some point in their life.

    If you'd like to talk with people who know what it's like

Father says he tried to kill me 3 times.

chesterking

chesterking

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 24, 2015
Messages
2,507
Incident on 4 January 2015

My father confessed to me that he tried to kill me 3 times. But somehow each and every time I recovered. I don't think this was a joke. I have had severe heart pain, strong heart palpitations and a fast heart rate. Several times, I thought I was going to die because of this. Also it felt like the left hand side of my body was being paralyzed.
My mother has also suffered from heart problems.
This is just criminal.

I will still continue to love and forgive my father and hope God gives him the very best in life. I can't bare to be away from my father, so sending him to prison is not an option. I just hope people can make him see sense, so he doesn't repeat this act again.
 
chesterking

chesterking

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 24, 2015
Messages
2,507
Calling my father names.

I use to call my father names and that's the reason he said he did this.
The reasons I use to call him names is because he use to laugh at me with his relatives over the phone. I presume he was laughing at me because of inability to work, a mental illness that he created and the other reason was because I told him I had uncontrollable sexual urges around women and could not be near them sometimes, again another condition that he created.

If he has been tampering with my medication which tasted toxic and caused a severe headache, or putting things into my food to make me lose self control over my lustful feelings, then logically I would lose control over other areas over my life such as my anger. I always wondering why I would get angry over the littlest of things.
Also I was wondering why I had control over my food appetite one day and the next day not.
 
Last edited:
chesterking

chesterking

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 24, 2015
Messages
2,507
Why don't you move out then?

People might say 'Well, why don't you move out then?' 'If all this stuff is happening to you why don't you move out?'
My answer to that is that it's not that simple. I have become quite attached to my father and love him very much. I would rather be dead then be separated from him. I hope that answers your question. He has never once hit me or abused me. I thought that we had a nice relationship apart from my anger issues.
Yes, I know it wasn't nice calling him names even if I felt angry. I am thoroughly ashamed of my actions. Now that my ego is gone, I don't think this will be a problem. I just pray to God it's not too late. Only God can reverse things now.
 
chesterking

chesterking

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 24, 2015
Messages
2,507
I use to call my father gay

email sent on 4th January 2015

Reasons for wanting to kill me:

Whether he got angry because I called him gay because he wouldn't stop laughing at me. I do remember calling him this many times. This happened for several years.

I also called him Elton, as in Elton John. My father warned me several times not to call him that. I remember him pointing in his finger in the air when he told me not to say it. This wasn't always the case, it was only in the last several years that I called him that.
But I never had hatred for gay people. It was just something I said to get even. I knew it was wrong. And I am now deeply ashamed of my behaviour. It was disgusting. Whether my father was burping frequently that caused me to get annoyed,
or my father laughing at me with relatives over the phone, I knew it was wrong. I should not have sunk down to that level. And I should not call my father
that, even if he makes me angry by laughing at me, or talking loudly with relatives over the phone.

Or whether it was my bad experience at college, where by people would laugh at me daily and I would not react. And that just built up and
built up and vowed from that day onwards I would always stick up for myself my fighting back or retaliating.


I would always get on well with my father, and most of my relatives, who I knew were bisexual. This never bothered me. I always spoke with respect to them. It's only if somebody wound me up by laughing at me, or talking, did I get upset and say something silly like 'This is so gay'. Maybe because of my bad experience at college when I was 17 yrs. old where I was laughed at daily.

And even at a mental hospital , it never bothered me who I was talking to, gay, bi-sexual. It didn't bother me. I never called anybody else this, other than my father. I knew it was wrong and I am now deeply ashamed.

I have a cousin and I always talk to him fine and we chat to each other. I have never mentioned anything about his sexuality despite it being obvious. I talk to him about life and what I'm up to now. I visited another cousin elsewhere, who was gay, and I had no problems talking to him. I find gay people, are very talkative and I like that in people. It's that just sometimes I feel uncomfortable, but hatred, never. And that's the God's honest truth. I might have said some crazy things about gay people more than 18 years ago.

I remember, one time my sister said something that made me angry and I said 'Why don't you go and listen to a George Michael song.' I know it was stupid to say that. I said it to get even. I must have said this several times.

But I can understand people thinking that, by the way I talked or swore. At the time, I did not realise how much this was hurting my dad.
I did not at the time, realise the seriousness of what I was saying.

All I thought at the time, was to stop him laughing, talking, or burping, I would swear to get even.
Now that my ego, is gone, things like this do not bother me anymore. But now I suppose it is too late.
The day after I found out it was my father tried to harm or kill me, I don't know, I vowed from that day onwards that I would change.

I sat down with my sister and watched Paul O Grady. And then watched Alan Chatty with my sister. I felt uncomfortable before, but not anymore. Was it because of my meditation which got rid of my negative emotions or was it finding out that my father tried to harm me, I don't know.

I thought that would change their ways, but they haven't and still continue to play these dangerous games with my health and my heart.
My mother is still intimidated by them and our health has also suffered as a result of my fathers actions.
 
chesterking

chesterking

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 24, 2015
Messages
2,507
I now love gay people.

My father is bisexual.

I love gay people. --- This is how I feel this present moment in time.

I don't know why I called my father gay. I saw on tv a bust up between two boxers Evander Hollyfield and Lennox Lewis. Evander Hollyfield called Lennox Lewis gay. Lennox Lewis said why don't you invite your sister over and we'll find out who's gay.' And then they got into a fight. I thought that I would copy this if people laughed at me. What a stupid thing to do. How stupid can I get. I am now deeply ashamed and remorseful of my actions.

My social worker is gay and I get on fine with him. He is such a lovely chap.
 
Last edited:
chesterking

chesterking

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 24, 2015
Messages
2,507
Confession - I have had gay thoughts in the past

I have had gay thoughts in the past but only on rare occasions. But on the whole I find women attractive. In my fantasies, I have thoughts of men making love to women. :redface:

Does watching men make love to women make me gay? :unsure:

Whether these thoughts were there because chemicals were added to my food, I don't know. I read on the internet that the U.S air force was thinking of enemy soldiers that can be bombarded with pheromones to make them gay, a so called gay bomb.
 
Last edited:
chesterking

chesterking

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 24, 2015
Messages
2,507
He did the same to my mother - lies

I don't think the real reason my father tried to kill me was because I called him gay. Remember he has committed horrendous crimes against my mother when I was a kid and before I was born. I now believe with all my heart that he did make her seriously mentally ill. My mother would swing her head in circles wildly. Also when my mother was on the bed she would throw her body into the air and back down again with just her neck remaining on the bed. That must have really hurt.

My father has been giving my mother health problems on a daily basis ever since they have been married, in either a form of a headache, belly ache, heart pain, eye pain, feet pain, leg pain, muscle wastage. My father is just a criminal. Anybody that can do this to their wife on a daily basis, how can he possibly be normal?

My father has a mind of a psychopath.

These are just lies. How can I be responsible for what he did to my mother before I was even born?
 
Last edited:
chesterking

chesterking

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 24, 2015
Messages
2,507
Is my father a sociopath?

I think my dad and my sister might be a sociopaths. My feelings as of today. I will always continue to love and forgive my father and sister, no matter what they do.


I have edited the article below, because not everything applies to my father and sister.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------


Most sociopaths will become angry or aggressive when their integrity is questioned, whereas a sane person would simply be happy to help clear up any misinformation or misunderstanding.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------


[h=1]Tip for exposing sociopaths: Start fact-checking something they claim[/h]One simple method for dispelling sociopathic delusion is to start fact checking their claims. Do any of their claims actually check out? If you start digging, you will usually find a pattern of frequent inconsistencies. Confront the suspected sociopath with an inconsistency and see what happens: Most sociopaths will become angry or aggressive when their integrity is questioned, whereas a sane person would simply be happy to help clear up any misinformation or misunderstanding.


_____________________________________________________________


#1) Sociopaths are charming. Sociopaths have high charisma and tend to attract a following just because people want to be around them. They have a "glow" about them that attracts people who typically seek guidance or direction.


_____________________________________________________________


#3) Sociopaths are incapable of feeling shame, guilt or remorse. Their brains simply lack the circuitry to process such emotions. This allows them to betray people, threaten people or harm people without giving it a second thought. They pursue any action that serves their own self interest even if it seriously harms others. This is why you will find many very "successful" sociopaths in high levels of government, in any nation.
-_____________________________________________________________


#4) Sociopaths invent outrageous lies about their experiences. They wildly exaggerate things to the point of absurdity, but when they describe it to you in a storytelling format, for some reason it sounds believable at the time.


______________________________________________________________


#6) Sociopaths tend to be highly intelligent, but they use their brainpower to deceive others rather than empower them. Their high IQs often makes them dangerous.


_______________________________________________________________


7) Sociopaths are incapable of love and are entirely self-serving. They may feign love or compassion in order to get what they want, but they don't actually FEEL love in the way that you or I do.
______________________________________________________________


8) Sociopaths speak poetically. They are master wordsmiths, able to deliver a running "stream of consciousness" monologue that is both intriguing and hypnotic. They are expert storytellers and even poets.


______________________________________________________________


#9) Sociopaths never apologize. They are never wrong. They never feel guilt. They can never apologize. Even if shown proof that they were wrong, they will refuse to apologize and instead go on the attack.


______________________________________________________

Please visit the link below for more info.
How to spot a sociopath - 10 red flags that could save you from being swept under the influence of a charismatic nut job - NaturalNews.com
______________________________________________________________
 
chesterking

chesterking

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 24, 2015
Messages
2,507
What do you people think? Is my father a sociopath?

I'm like in the Manson Family.
 
Last edited:
Toasted Crumpet

Toasted Crumpet

ACCOUNT CLOSED
Joined
Feb 11, 2013
Messages
8,424
Location
under the Forum Troll bridge
My honest opinion, which you won't like, is that you are having magical thinking and associating bodily sensations with things your father does, I have read a lot of your posts and that is what it sounds like to me.

I am not saying there are not any issues with the marital relationship or with your relationship with him, I would think there must be issues or you may not have reached the conclusions you have about him.

But a lot of what you say, well it does sound a bit far fetched from an outsiders perspective.

Regarding him actually confessing to trying to kill you, well that's a bit strange and maybe not surprising you are now worried about all this other stuff you think he is doing. These things rarely come from nowhere.
 
chesterking

chesterking

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 24, 2015
Messages
2,507
A close friend of my fathers, showed my father a video of a gangster meeting a nasty end in prison. Was he trying to tell my father something? :LOL:
 
chesterking

chesterking

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 24, 2015
Messages
2,507
My honest opinion, which you won't like, is that you are having magical thinking and associating bodily sensations with things your father does, I have read a lot of your posts and that is what it sounds like to me.

I am not saying there are not any issues with the marital relationship or with your relationship with him, I would think there must be issues or you may not have reached the conclusions you have about him.

But a lot of what you say, well it does sound a bit far fetched from an outsiders perspective.

Regarding him actually confessing to trying to kill you, well that's a bit strange and maybe not surprising you are now worried about all this other stuff you think he is doing. These things rarely come from nowhere.
Hello Toasty,
I agree with you. It does sound bizarre and strange. It's sounds like the talking's of a lunatic or a liar.
It's like a dream. I can't even believe it's happening. Somebody slap me across the face. :eek:

When I go outside, I can tell by people's facial expressions and body language that it is very real and it is happening. That's why I went with my father yesterday to a ceremony of a deceased relative, to find out is this really happening. I can tell by the way the people at the ceremony were looking at my father, that it is very real. I can tell my the way my psychiatrist and social workers talk, that it is very real. When I go shopping with my father or go out and about with my father in his car, I can tell it is very real just by looking at people's facial expressions and body language. :low:
 
chesterking

chesterking

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 24, 2015
Messages
2,507
Find out for yourselves

It's like I'm in a fictional story and that none of this is real. If you don't believe anything that I say, find out for yourself. Ask the people around me. Do some digging yourselves and you will find out the truth. Don't take my word for it.
 
chesterking

chesterking

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 24, 2015
Messages
2,507
Talk

Is it right for my father to want to kill me for calling him gay for many years? Surely a better way, would have been to sit down with me and my psychiatrist and other people to have a talk about my behaviour. My father just kept it quite and just suffered in silence. I did not realise how much I was hurting him. It would have been good if he had talked about it. I never had a clue of how much I was hurting him.

What do you people think? Is it right for a father to want to kill his son because his son has been calling him gay for many years?
 
chesterking

chesterking

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 24, 2015
Messages
2,507
My mother and two sisters are bisexual as well.
 
Top