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Father of my boyfriend gave inappropiate touch

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ParisB

New member
Joined
Nov 26, 2018
Messages
1
Hello, I need some advice on how to handle a difficult situation.

My boyfriend and I have been a couple for more than 5 years and we get along very well. We are crazy in love with each other and plan to spend the rest of our lives together.

On one day we went food shopping with my boyfriend's father as he has a car and could help with transportation. I picked up a pack of flour and other things and squeezed them on my chest using my hands, as any person does when collecting several items to bring to the shopping cart. His father was holding the cart. As i handed him the products i realized that I had some flour on one of my breasts. I was wearing a jacket and it got a bit white. So I used my hand to brush it off and it was 90% gone. His father then started brushing the little flour left with his hand. I felt his hand all over my breast and he brushed it four times til I moved aside. I was in shock. His touch was so firm that my nipple hurt. And as I pulled aside he gave me a smirk smile. My boyfried was a couple of meters away and saw the thing too and he was shocked also. The ride back home was silent from all sides. I pretended to have belly pain. Afterwards when we were home alone my bf apologized for what happened and we were close to breaking up.

I always had a bit of weird feelings when meeting his father. He would hug me very tight when me met, then I learned to keep a distance but he pulled me close to his body for the hello-hug and bye-hug, then I started avoiding him. He also used to kiss my cheek and I really disliked the amount of saliva he left on my cheeks. Then after some time I decided that it is all in my head and that he just likes me as the girlfriend of his son so he is friendly with me.

Since that day I feel horrible, can't eat, sleep well and I feel nauseated all the time. My boyfriend is sweet and said I don't have to ever meet him again. But I don't feel safe. He knows where we live and of course that I would need to meet him once in a while. I told my boyfriend that I want to move to another city and he said he would come with me, but honestly I doubt that he would do that as it is stressful to start over in another city. I love him so much, but this thing makes me feel incredibly bad. First it was the tight-chest hugs, now he used the excuse to brush off the flour and touch firmly my breast. I am afraid what if one day it could get worse?

What would you do in this situation? I can't even stand hearing my boyfriend talking about his family. And we have so many things from them in our home. I am so angry and frustrated that I feel like throwing everything. Please give me advice.
 
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Flameheart

Former member
I would feel uncomfortable if this happened to me too, have you talked to your boyfriend properly about this as that should be the first step especially as he witnessed his dad touching you that way, I don't understand why you'd break up over it? He should be the one telling his dad not to be so inappropriate
 
Mayflower7

Mayflower7

Well-known member
Staff member
Admin
Moderator
Joined
Jan 4, 2013
Messages
24,033
Location
England
Hi,
You don't have to put up with hugs and kisses if you find it upsetting, tell your boyfriend to tell his dad not to touch you.
You really shouldn't have to move away, I understand you don't feel safe. This should improve over time.
Counselling or therapy might help you come to terms with what happened.
I'm so sorry this happened to you.
Here to listen anytime.
Take care
 
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