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family triggers

Z

Zoe1

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 8, 2019
Messages
2,341
Location
Nowhere
so I was saying that at times I have acted for my brother
by writing letters to the drug and alcohol team about him
or sometimes phoning them to push for a response

and meanwhile I have paranoid schizophrenia going on myself !
what a cocktail this is ...
and after I started taking this on
other family members seem to have gradually walked away from my brother
leaving it all to me ! and in most cases , ceasing contact with him
and denying him their phone numbers etc.

well I was just about staggering under all that
when I arranged to visit my brother at his hostel earlier this year
and my aunt, who has cut off phone contact with him
wanted me to take him a gift !

a gift from someone he is not allowed to phone !

and I was very dependent on her at the time for email support
which ive tried now to replace with these forums
and it was a painful position to be in
like as if there was some kind of ' exchange ' going on
that in return for her support
I would take on my brother single handedly

and this has triggered a bout of my mental illness,
shadow self, anger, possibly voices,
I dont actually ' hear ' voiced, but my thoughts are very bad

this was some months ago now
and I have not recovered from these triggers

x x x
 
S

sallimae76

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 18, 2019
Messages
376
Location
Tucson, AZ
Zoe, you are stronger than you know. And you have so many lovely qualities. Your brother is lucky to have you. You are not just your illness.
 
Z

Zoe1

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 8, 2019
Messages
2,341
Location
Nowhere
awww thankyou Salli you have such kindness in you
in spite of all you've been through, that is amazing !
I am not just my illness ?
thankyou, but my illness does rather take over
and the part of me that is well, I have to hide it
otherwise people expect too much from me

x x x
 
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