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L

Loving Mom

New member
Joined
Jan 24, 2010
Messages
3
My son was taken away because I felt his next step in his very different behaviour was to harm himself.

He is still in hospital and the staff tell me he could be there a very long time but because he is now 21 I have very little right to find out how he is progressing, informed not to visit as when he called me he just wanted to come home and his last words on the phone were that he doesnt know if he can stay there. Hopefully he cant harm himself there because I feel he is being overwhelmed with it all but he was still delusional in our conversation so I know he needs the help yet. The nurse finally told me that I needed to read up on schizophrenic and better understand what he is going through. I have done this but wanted to find out from real people what to expect.

How long is hospitalization for a resistant patient? Apparently the doses of meds he is receiving would knock out any person but not him.

What can I expect when he gets home?

What, if anything do I need to do to make my home safe for him? He has never been an aggressive person but he was very aggressive when they came for him originally and last night after our phone conversation he hurt a nurse whle trying to be controlled. He never lashes out just tightens up in order not to be restrained. Will this change when he comes home and if I try to protect him will I run into this?

There are some great outcomes that I have read about and I know it takes time but when can I expect him to get some relief from the voices and be able to at least to reason?

I have many questions as you may know, but think I will start with these so please help me understand in any way you possibly can. Do not hesitate to offer up any advice you may think will help and that I may overlook as I am just wanting the best for him and to make his life happier and easier than it has been for the last 6 months.
 
R

rasselas

Guest
...

it's understandable you would want many of these answers, or some pointers to timescales and what to expect. unfortunately, its one of those: how long is a piece of string? scenarios.

it's very upsetting to me to hear of anyone being forcefully sectioned and suffering the violence that comes with it. resisting psychiatric treatment can become a very violent and demeaning process. if your son has minimal insight into his condition that will make it all the worse for him. i hope he manages to realise that the violence will not end unless he acquiesces - most do.

without knowing significant details it's really not possible to offer any exacting advice.

all the information is out there. the mind site is very good for information - if you haven't looked there already that would be a good place to start. i believe they also have details of carer groups that you can get in touch with. they can offer you lots of support and a friendly ear.

im surprised the staff have discouraged you from contacting him. im not sure where the law stands on that but it seems that you used your legal right as a parent to admit your son to hospital so from that point of view I would expect you have a right to be included in what goes on. but don't take my word for that - again, the mind site will be able to advise you - they also have a helpline you can ring.
 
L

Loving Mom

New member
Joined
Jan 24, 2010
Messages
3
Thank you for your reply Mark. I unfortunately had no rights to exercise in my son's case. I had called authorities because he wedged himself under the house in very cold weather conditions with no sign of acknowledging my or is brothers concerns for him to come out. After a couple hours and he did not come out I had to call for help as he only had one layer of clothing on and I did not want him dying under there.

When they did come they informed me that he would be arrested under the mental health act for 48=72 hours. After that time passed and he was not responding to medication I was then informed that he was now certified under the mental health act was to be in their care for the next month at least. We live in BC Canada. I guess it is good we have this act but it is very frustrating when you try to get information on a grown child. They do understand to a point that I am concerned and I did give birth to him so my rights should not be taken away but not totally will they let me intervene in any way.

I know he needs help but I hate how they are going about it. Had I known he would be put in isolation (cant be good for anyone let alone someone who is going through this) I may have waited another hour but who knows it may have been too late.

I just want him home safely in my arms. I know my life will never be the same
so thats where I need help as well. I make enough financially so that is one thing my son won't have to fret over in order to heal, that support is there but I need to know how to make him safe and what I am able to discuss with him in order that I keep him happy and not go into a bad state when he returns home. I know some of these are difficult questions to answer at this time and might better be answered once he has returned home and I see what his state is upon discharge. As you can see I am so counting on a discharge but have been informed it could be months. I need him to somehow accept the help and then they may let him go shortly after acceptance.

I looked up the mind site but there are many listings, is there one in specific you think is better? At this point I am just reading everything.
 
R

rasselas

Guest
...

I'm sorry I assumed you were in the uk. Put that down to english self-centredness!

the sectioning laws are very similar across the pond to how they are here. I'm sure you've read extensively on the laws and how they can effectively hold someone for many months.

this sounds like your son's first admission or did he have previous contact with mental health services? is this his first episode/crisis?

btw I think you shouldn't feel guilty about calling for help. he really was in a perilous situation.
 
M

mad as a hatter

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 23, 2008
Messages
2,167
Location
scotland
don,t be 2 hard on ur self i think did the right thing for ur son and soon as he gets a bit better he will realise this 2 maybe there advsing u stay away for a while so it doesn,t agitate him more and they will get him more stable i don,t know for sure i just read all u can on his illness so u r prepared when he does get home
 
L

Loving Mom

New member
Joined
Jan 24, 2010
Messages
3
I just wanted to let you all know how things were going. I have been able to visit him twice now and he has had his friends able to visit as well with great outcomes.

He was very drowsy on Monday, I was worried they were over medicating him but he was able to make replies and even cracked a joke during his conversation with friends.

Tuesday, I was only able to call him on the phone (I am currently recovering from an ankle fracture and my first physio visit had made my ankle very swollen and painful) but he had so much more enthusiasm and seemed more awake and informed me that he had moved up a step and that he could now have his own clothes.

Today, I went to see my son, his eyes were more open to the world again, I saw pupils again. His voice was more enthusiastic yet again. (I hope I am describing it right when I say enthusiastic, it's just a word to describe his tone of voice changing for the better and the responses that he gives after going through doctors pumping high meds trying to find the levels). He also said he has moved up to step 2 now and he is looking forward to step 3. (Step 3 will apparently allow him to leave the ward and wander to hospital cafeteria and Tim Horton's etc).

He understands that even when he reaches the top of his steps it does not necessarily mean he can leave the hospital care but will allow him not to be so isolated. He does know now that he needs help and is willing to accept it, yay, I do not feel so scared for his safety anymore. Don't know what I would do without my son.

I will try to keep you posted on his progress and I am hoping to get him to join this forum when he feels better. I have learned so much which has helped me and feel that he can only benefit even more. Thank you for the support when it was much needed.
 
sallyG

sallyG

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 4, 2009
Messages
1,693
Location
Essex England
Im so pleased to hear of your sons progress..must be a welcome relief for you. It must be very difficult for you having your son in hospital but it really is the best place for him whilst his so poorly.
take care of yourself too.xx
 
rollinat

rollinat

Well-known member
Founding Member
Joined
Apr 24, 2008
Messages
1,816
Your son is lucky to have a mother like you who is prepared to learn about and adapt to his illness. I was so pleased to read that you feel he is improving and is more animated.

Mm, Tim Horton's - I do love those timbits! None in this neck of the woods sadly.

Take care of yourself, and hope to see you back here soon.
 
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