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Family phobia?

jajingna

jajingna

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Jul 31, 2020
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Location
Canada
Some of them I've seen just infrequently. All the old stuff is still there, that history we don't talk about. Couple of my older brothers seem like they are just looking down on me, it's weird, or is it just my imagination? I had a phobic response to one brother's visit a year ago. No doubt about it, I felt a lot of fear. It was like, "Ugh, that guy, here to say more nasty crap I don't want to hear." I just found him rude and arrogant, and other things I didn't like. Not showing manners or politeness or respect. Like I was beneath him. So his little snarky comments bothered me. I've been obsessing about it. That fuels anxiety too. It's strange how easily I feel hurt by someone's comments like that. And then feel resentment towards him. Yet he was pissed off at me for not wanting to talk to him. It's weird to me, someone says all sorts of awful things like that and then doesn't get why you avoid him.
 
jajingna

jajingna

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 31, 2020
Messages
7,183
Location
Canada
It spread into a general fear or mistrust of people, the early days at home, where parents were best avoided due to their many problems. It made them unpleasant to be around most of the time. Where could you go? Stay in your room, or go outside the house, or play in the basement. We had a dusty old basement back then, used to play sports down there.

Father didn't like kids but had seven boys anyway. He hated noise, just liked to be left alone in quiet. Brothers like music. Father erupted in anger sometimes. Mother nagged him plenty. They hated each other, never showed affection to each other, and didn't have much to show their kids either. It was strangely peaceful and quiet when mother went in the hospital for one of her stays there. Hell of an illness she had, lifelong too. As an old woman was still ruined with paranoia and other strange distressing things. Shouting to no one, lost to madness some days. As a middle aged man that was hard to be around, having returned to the scene of the crime, the home.

Brothers can be nasty, judgemental and insulting. Their form of self-protection, having learned these habits long ago. Now a mostly lonely and confused bunch with various unresolved emotional problems, using addictions and distractions to cope. "Leave me alone," was my father's cry and complaint, and the sons are like that now. Bloody family, what can ya do? They can make you strange just being around them.
 
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