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Family Guilt Anxiety

J

jojeba

Member
Joined
Dec 20, 2014
Messages
18
Location
London
Who else suffers from guilt anxiety with family, and how do you deal with it?

My Dad lives overseas and I don't see him very often - he's come to stay for three weeks, on and off (travelling in between, mostly on his own). During the week I'm at work but we go out in the evenings, and in the weekends I spend all day with him (although have left him to his own devices a couple of Saturday evenings to go see friends). I've also taken time off work to do a side trip with him this coming week.

It's been so lovely but I also feel really wrung out. He decided he'd stay in a hotel nearby this weekend - I know he felt he was imposing, and frankly, he probably wanted a break as well - and I asked if he would mind if I had Saturday night to Monday morning to myself just to do some work stuff. Yes I did really have a bit of work stuff but also I just wanted some alone time. (Work has been manic and I have had little down time for myself.)

Of course he's OK with it, but I have spent that whole period feeling guilty that he's in a hotel on his own, and I should really be taking him out for another day or at least take him out for another dinner. I guess it's different when you have a partner, or they have a partner, so that you can take the pressure off. And Dad's so easygoing that it almost makes me feel worse. (I can't really talk to him about it as we don't have that sort of heart-to-heart relationship.)

I wish I didn't feel like this. He's here one more week after this "day off" and I am seeing him almost full time for that final week. So I know I shouldn't feel guilty. Yet I do. It's making my anxiety skyrocket. "I am being selfish. I should be a better daughter. It's the weekend, you should be spending the day with him. Your Dad is only here once. He's come here to see you." I worry so much about being kinder to my Dad that I am probably being unkind to myself.

I always feel this way with family and I don't really know why. Would love to hear if anyone else has similar experiences with their parents!
 
SarahD

SarahD

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 21, 2014
Messages
2,095
Location
UK
Hi Jojeba

I don't think you should feel guilty. You are working, yet you are spending a lot of time with him. You need a bit of time to yourself.

Enjoy the final week of your Dad's visit guilt-free.
 
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