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Family found out about my drug use

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tomry

New member
Joined
May 12, 2018
Messages
1
So my family found out I did drugs (mdma mosyly) and now I feel like they look at me like some low life that they hate and judge everything I've ever done. They question anything I want to do but they forget to question how I actually feel or why I actually did or enjoy doing drugs. I didn't abuse drugs, I did them safely and spaced out. It was the only thing that helped me manage my lifes problems and when I took them I was able to forget about my problems and not feel any worries.

I feel like I can't do anything without being judged by them. They hate me and I'm feeling worse as this problem goes on. When I drink even with my friends this problem is in my head and I get so depressed.

When I'm out driving on the roads I think of how easy it is to die, I constantly think of wanting to be dead. I just don't have the balls to do that, which I guess is a good thing. Some might think just talk to your family but that's just not easy for me to do. I'm a severe introvert and tried going counselling before and find it hard to express myself. they say it's ok to be quiet, but it's not ok. We live in an extrovert world and drugs was the only thing I had that helped me to forget about my problems. I'm not addicted but it was the only thing that has kept me going. But now that thing I used to look forward to has been blocked and can no longer look forward to it.

My life has always seemed shit and that someone like me just doesn't belong in this world. When Avicii died people all said it's drugs and shit. People will always blame substance abuse and never consider that maybe someone is an introvert and struggles to live in a world where people are expected to be outgoing and be perfect all the time.
 
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IWILLOBTAINMENTALHEALTH

Guest
:welcome: to the forum. You need to be alive my friend. Sorry about your family issues. Never be ashamed to be an introvert! :peace:
 
Not_Crazy_Yet

Not_Crazy_Yet

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 19, 2015
Messages
3,489
Location
USA
I'm an introvert when unless I'm on drugs. Or if I'm trying to mind fuck counselors. I quite enjoyed that while in hospital.
 
Drooo

Drooo

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 8, 2016
Messages
876
Location
UK
You say it's an "extrovert world". The older I get the more I wonder if it's more of an introvert world with many wanting to be extrovert. That's an important distinction because, if true, it would mean more people are like you than you realize.

As a way to communicate with your family you could try writing a letter to attempt to explain things, I think they resonate more than words sometimes.

Have you ever sought help from a doctor?
 
U

updownandmoderateDave

Member
Joined
Aug 24, 2018
Messages
8
Location
London
They question anything I want to do but they forget to question how I actually feel or why I actually did

I feel like I can't do anything without being judged by them. They hate me and I'm feeling worse as this problem goes on. When I drink even with my friends this problem is in my head and I get so depressed.

When I'm out driving on the roads I think of how easy it is to die, I constantly think of wanting to be dead. I just don't have the balls to do that.

My life has always seemed shit and that someone like me just doesn't belong in this world.
Just a few thing that jumped out at me that I’ve quoted tomry;

1) My parents were very much like this when they first learned of my substance abuse. They just saw it as a problem, a defect that I had. The more you talk to them as as honestly as you feel you can, the more understanding they will become (YMMV, my parents despite being very anti-drug eventually “got it”.

2) I have literally just been/am going through a period where those thoughts are ever present. It fucking sucks, and that’s putting it super lightly! You’re not going to be better off dead - there are people out there that love you and care for you, and although they may show it in different ways, they do - and for me, that made me not want to die. If those thoughts are overwhelming then I’m sorry, I hope there’s someone else here with enough experience to help you with them.

3) Now this I can help with and empathise STRONGLY... 😔 I’m really sorry you feel this way, I wish I could give you a massive hug. But of course you belong! Everyone has problems, but everyone always has something to give. And I believe you do too. And so should you!

Stay strong tomry, this shit is hard, but we can do it - YOU can do it, you have that power ❤
 
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