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False memory OCD please help

A

Alice07Hatter

Active member
Joined
May 20, 2016
Messages
28
Hi everyone.
I'm struggling with a lot of false memory OCD which has happened suddenly, it's all revolved around cheating or being unfaithful and it makes me feel physically sick.
I had just got out of the shower and was laying on my bed before getting dressed, and my old friend from school text me who I haven't seen for years, saying when can we hang out (he's a male) and my thought in my head was trying to avoid thinking I've sent him anything bad, and then my head said he could see you now naked or something like that and then I FREAKED out and got so worried I sent him a naked picture.

So I've tried to think of reasons why this can't be true...
1. The last message he sent was still the can we hang out one, so if I had sent him something I think it would be mentioned
2. It was via text message and I don't have any charges for sending a picture message, I called my provider to ask and they said there isn't any extra charges apart from a late payment one
3. There is also no extra charges on my account bill on my phone I can see

So I'm freaking out so much, and this is something that I know I would never want to do, but my head tells me otherwise. I have a fear about this, and keep telling myself why would I do something I'm scared of happening.

My boyfriend also said not to worry as he trusts me and it's something I wouldn't ever do. Does anyone else have this? Could I have done this?
 
Anime-Alchemy

Anime-Alchemy

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 21, 2013
Messages
6,466
Location
A comet
I can see why you are freaking out. If there is no trace of you sending such a message, then it means you didn't do anything.
It's the OCD effecting your brain and producing this false memory.
 
A

Alice07Hatter

Active member
Joined
May 20, 2016
Messages
28
I can see why you are freaking out. If there is no trace of you sending such a message, then it means you didn't do anything.
It's the OCD effecting your brain and producing this false memory.
I just keep thinking what if I deleted the evidence, but it would still show on my bill I think, but it's not something I would ever want to do, it's causing me so much stress
 
L

Liana

Active member
Joined
Nov 17, 2020
Messages
37
Location
UK
Hi everyone.
I'm struggling with a lot of false memory OCD which has happened suddenly, it's all revolved around cheating or being unfaithful and it makes me feel physically sick.
I had just got out of the shower and was laying on my bed before getting dressed, and my old friend from school text me who I haven't seen for years, saying when can we hang out (he's a male) and my thought in my head was trying to avoid thinking I've sent him anything bad, and then my head said he could see you now naked or something like that and then I FREAKED out and got so worried I sent him a naked picture.

So I've tried to think of reasons why this can't be true...
1. The last message he sent was still the can we hang out one, so if I had sent him something I think it would be mentioned
2. It was via text message and I don't have any charges for sending a picture message, I called my provider to ask and they said there isn't any extra charges apart from a late payment one
3. There is also no extra charges on my account bill on my phone I can see

So I'm freaking out so much, and this is something that I know I would never want to do, but my head tells me otherwise. I have a fear about this, and keep telling myself why would I do something I'm scared of happening.

My boyfriend also said not to worry as he trusts me and it's something I wouldn't ever do. Does anyone else have this? Could I have done this?
I don't think you did it, especially if you're as worried about cheating as you say you are! A compulsion on your end would be mental checking, which you're doing, not doing the thing you fear!

If the friend you fear you sent a nude to is someone you can trust, I would ask them something humorous like: "hey, this is super random, but I was a bit drunk last night and sent random videos / photos of me singing to a bunch of my contacts after I was dared to. did you receive anything? just trying to know if i should hide under a rock next time i see you or not lol"

Then again, this message sending habit could easily become a compulsion whenever you text a guy, so try to talk to a therapist or someone trust worthy about how to prevent that asking this this one time becomes a regular occurence!

P.-S.: Since your partner knows about your OCD, tell him about this episode / what you think you did! Even if he says you didn't do it, maybe gage out what he thinks if you DID do it. If he understands your illness, he might even give you forgiveness for the act you fear you've done, and maybe because the stakes and stress are less high, your mind will tell you what actually happened!
 
L

Liana

Active member
Joined
Nov 17, 2020
Messages
37
Location
UK
Hi everyone.
I'm struggling with a lot of false memory OCD which has happened suddenly, it's all revolved around cheating or being unfaithful and it makes me feel physically sick.
I had just got out of the shower and was laying on my bed before getting dressed, and my old friend from school text me who I haven't seen for years, saying when can we hang out (he's a male) and my thought in my head was trying to avoid thinking I've sent him anything bad, and then my head said he could see you now naked or something like that and then I FREAKED out and got so worried I sent him a naked picture.

So I've tried to think of reasons why this can't be true...
1. The last message he sent was still the can we hang out one, so if I had sent him something I think it would be mentioned
2. It was via text message and I don't have any charges for sending a picture message, I called my provider to ask and they said there isn't any extra charges apart from a late payment one
3. There is also no extra charges on my account bill on my phone I can see

So I'm freaking out so much, and this is something that I know I would never want to do, but my head tells me otherwise. I have a fear about this, and keep telling myself why would I do something I'm scared of happening.

My boyfriend also said not to worry as he trusts me and it's something I wouldn't ever do. Does anyone else have this? Could I have done this?
P.-S.: What you have seems like Relationship OCD (ROCD). I suggested you take Kiyomi Lafleur's "Awaken Into Love" course! It's like 50$ for hours of content and it really really really helped me with my issues regarding my relationship, wondering if I "truly" love my partner, wondering if x y or z action was cheating (when it definitely wasn't), etc.
 
A

Alice07Hatter

Active member
Joined
May 20, 2016
Messages
28
P.-S.: What you have seems like Relationship OCD (ROCD). I suggested you take Kiyomi Lafleur's "Awaken Into Love" course! It's like 50$ for hours of content and it really really really helped me with my issues regarding my relationship, wondering if I "truly" love my partner, wondering if x y or z action was cheating (when it definitely wasn't), etc.
Thank you so much for your reply, and the above one. I was in a very toxic relationship prior and was constantly accused of cheating so I think that's likely why I am so paranoid now, especially as I have such a lovely partner now. Ive realised I did not do that, well I'm pretty sure anyway, as it's not something I would want to do. It's just so stressful to be so doubtful about things that you fear, but I guess that's OCD ): glad you found something to help you, I'm going to ask to be re referred to counselling aswell. Thanks again
 
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