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Falling

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Ellie2661

Member
Joined
Sep 4, 2015
Messages
17
I am really struggling right now. My SH addiction is beginning to takeover my every thought. I went through a horrible ordeal when i was really young and again when i was a teen and SH was the way i coped. but i have been destructing badly recently and i have tried to find new ways to get through the flashbacks and the nightmares but nothing else helps. I have seen my doctor, i have tried talking to friends and family but they don't really get it. They just want the "old" me back i.e. the person who didn't confide or share problems and i really don't think i am strong enough to keep fighting this by myself. I barely sleep, i cant function properly and the nightmares don't ever leave even when i'm awake. I would usually be turning to SH right about now but o really really don't want to, i'm just not sure i'm strong enough to stop myself. infact i'm pretty positive if i started i wouldn't stop. For anything.
 
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Elmojems

Member
Joined
Apr 17, 2016
Messages
24
Location
Northern Ireland
Ellie,
Did you manage to stay strong? At this precise moment I'm trying not to have a drink. I don't need 2 I want 2. I also had low mood today and wanted 2 take a lot of kalms or SH but didn't do either but constantly fighting with yourself is tiring.
 
Last edited by a moderator:
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Ellie2661

Member
Joined
Sep 4, 2015
Messages
17
Hi thanks for answering.I'm sorry to hear your struggling. I did manage to stay strong but it was the hardest internal war I've ever had. It still is. Fighting yourself is the worst struggle. It's really great that you didn't give in today & are still willing to fight and that your using the forum. If there's anything you want to talk about feel free to reach out anytime.
 
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Elmojems

Member
Joined
Apr 17, 2016
Messages
24
Location
Northern Ireland
Not a problem. Btw not sure if your name is Ellie or a username, either way it's a nice name (my daughter is Ellie). Definitely good to hear you stayed strong. Needing to fight with yourself or your moods on a daily basis is a struggle. Thanks for that and I hope you feel you can do the same with me.
 
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Elmojems

Member
Joined
Apr 17, 2016
Messages
24
Location
Northern Ireland
Are you on any medication at all if yes what and do you have any mental health diagnosis? I have depression but next week I find out if I have borderline personality disorder.
 
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Ellie2661

Member
Joined
Sep 4, 2015
Messages
17
Yes I'm on antidepressants but I can't remember the name it starts with an M. I've got depression & suffer from bad anxiety & severe panic attacks. I'm just about to start therapy. Are you on any medication or use counselling?.
 
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Elmojems

Member
Joined
Apr 17, 2016
Messages
24
Location
Northern Ireland
I do recall my GP or some where along the lines that people who use SH could also have a mental health issue/difficulty, that's definitely true for me lol. I have depression, anxiety, very bad anger and irritability and more than likely BPD. I'm on venlafaxine (exffexor) sorry can't spell it properly for my depression and propranolol for my anxiety. I seen a CBT councellor for 2mths r so and 2wks ago I finished a 6wk counselling session. If things go well 4 next week then I'll be put into a 8wk treatment plan. Btw are u called Ellie?
 
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Ellie2661

Member
Joined
Sep 4, 2015
Messages
17
Do you find the counselling helpful? I've never had therapy before and so far have been told a mix of things from others about how helpful it is. Ellie is my nickname.
 
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Elmojems

Member
Joined
Apr 17, 2016
Messages
24
Location
Northern Ireland
I've been 2 CBT twice and non CBT counselling. My CBT sessions where worth while but my last counselling wasn't that gd but I still liked fact that I could offload what was on my mind. It's not for everyone but I think it helps.
 
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