B
BIMBLE00
Member
- Joined
- Oct 21, 2008
- Messages
- 6
Hi, well my story is probably not that serious but figured it might help to tell it in a place were people may actually come close to understanding!
I have had over the last few years an ongoing mild-moderate case of depression, some times seeming to almost go and sometimes seeming pretty bad. Ive generally had a real lack of confidence and self beliefe and have generally not let people get too close.
up until last year I had been on medication which i didnt feel really helped and had at the start of this year just come out of a second period of counsiling. I came out of the cousiling on a real high it seemed, I found some confidence seemed able to actually make decisions, one of which was to act on long held feelings for a friend that i had repressed due to her being attached. All seemed to be going well, the girl and i seemed really in love,(in hindsight it was a little to full on and fast perhaps) we were planning to start afresh in a new area so i quit my job and went ahead to sort out a place etc. Suddenly my girl starts to self harm and withdraws totaly from me, so i head back to be with her only to find im now single. She apparently suffers from bpd and seems to have totally changed, so i was stuck with moving back with my parents,unhappily single and was unemployed for some months.
Its now been a few months and im working again but i feel like im barely functioning im doing the job and living a life almost like a mask hiding allsorts of emotions that im not even sure what they are. I still think about my ex all the time and am begining to worry that its not love that i still have but an obssesion or somthing? I also wonder if i was in love at all or was it some kind of emotional need to feel wanted that i know cant handle not having!
All in all im not to happy an somewhat confused!
I have had over the last few years an ongoing mild-moderate case of depression, some times seeming to almost go and sometimes seeming pretty bad. Ive generally had a real lack of confidence and self beliefe and have generally not let people get too close.
up until last year I had been on medication which i didnt feel really helped and had at the start of this year just come out of a second period of counsiling. I came out of the cousiling on a real high it seemed, I found some confidence seemed able to actually make decisions, one of which was to act on long held feelings for a friend that i had repressed due to her being attached. All seemed to be going well, the girl and i seemed really in love,(in hindsight it was a little to full on and fast perhaps) we were planning to start afresh in a new area so i quit my job and went ahead to sort out a place etc. Suddenly my girl starts to self harm and withdraws totaly from me, so i head back to be with her only to find im now single. She apparently suffers from bpd and seems to have totally changed, so i was stuck with moving back with my parents,unhappily single and was unemployed for some months.
Its now been a few months and im working again but i feel like im barely functioning im doing the job and living a life almost like a mask hiding allsorts of emotions that im not even sure what they are. I still think about my ex all the time and am begining to worry that its not love that i still have but an obssesion or somthing? I also wonder if i was in love at all or was it some kind of emotional need to feel wanted that i know cant handle not having!
All in all im not to happy an somewhat confused!