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Failure

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matt42069

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Joined
Aug 18, 2020
Messages
15
Location
Lithuania
How to make piece within yr life when u know u wont be what u wanted to be ur entire life cause u just ruined it ?
 
Avolitionist

Avolitionist

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Jun 24, 2020
Messages
459
Location
USA
Everyone reaches a point where one dream or another becomes improbable. Doesn't mean you ruined your life, just means you need to reevaluate your goals. :)
 
OCDguy

OCDguy

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Jun 13, 2016
Messages
1,588
Sometimes someone has to take a step back or two in order to make progress. Sometimes you have to lose a battle or two in order to win the war. Anything we can help you with :)
 
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matt42069

Member
Joined
Aug 18, 2020
Messages
15
Location
Lithuania
im kinda depressed and everyday i remind myself that i ruined and i dont know how to deal with it since nothing in life bring me happiness .
 
OCDguy

OCDguy

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Jun 13, 2016
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When we are dealing with things ourself, we can often blow things out of proportion. Sometimes all that's needed is a different approach to overcome a obstacle (assuming we are talking about obstacles). When we don't have all the answers ourselves, it's wise to ask for the help and support of trusted others'. I think everyone on this Forum has the best of intentions, and at the end of the day it's you that decides what is helpful and what isn't... Care to share what is troubling you :)
 
M

matt42069

Member
Joined
Aug 18, 2020
Messages
15
Location
Lithuania
im 20 yrs old now and i cant force myself to even go find a job , cause im terrified of getting into situations where i would be ridiculed and made fun of just like in my senior years in school where most people liked to use mine insecurity to their laughs . Because of that i developed social phobia i spend like 4 yrs in a row indoors mainly just surfing net and playing video games while doing that i stoped taking care of myself and for some reason i ocnvince myself that im goign to die soon maybe because i just wanted it badly . On top of that my own parents thinks of me as just a loser who just spends all his time to computer cause hes lazy . Iam scared of death but thinking liek 5 mins of pain will free of this world that i created for myself is just too tempting .
 
OCDguy

OCDguy

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Messages
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I think we all fear death, and it's a good thing, because it keeps us alive :) The one good thing about school, is it doesn't last. When people leave school and start working in the real world (I'm not saying this to make you feel bad, so please bear with me), they start maturing real quick, simply because their co-workers won't tolerate immaturity. The downside is it's taken you this time to discover this. What matters more than anything else is how you feel about yourself. You need to find ways to re-build your confidence and to re-build your parent's confidence in you. I think you have reached a point where you have become very unhappy with your current lifestyle. It's time to decide where you want to be in life, and then come up with a plan to get you there. One simple way to show your parents you are a changed person/not lazy is to offer help around the home, or share your plan of action, or both (just a suggestion). Take a interest in how they are doing and see if you can find ways to add value to their day/week etc. You don't need to suddenly change into someone else, but every positive step you take to turn your life around is a step towards a positive change and perhaps what you would like to achieve in life. When we reach out for help and suggestions, we are often rewarded, and there are a whole host of people on this Forum who will be only too willing to lend you a hand etc. The more you can share, the more relevant the answers/suggestions. Hope this helps :)
 
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matt42069

Member
Joined
Aug 18, 2020
Messages
15
Location
Lithuania
Yes iam very unhappy with my life and i know that it would be better for me and my folks if i changed but i just dont got it in me . Everyday im exhausted doing nothing im like super skinny and not as manly as everyone expect u to be . Everything i do makes me think about dying like if fail misunderstand smth if i fail at smth . At least computer used to take my mind of that but now when im using it im feeling guilty doing it and it makes me again think of death when im not using it i understand how i fucked up cause i have nothing that also makes me feel the same way . I know it may sound cruel but sometimes i like if my mother would suddenly pass away the first thing i would go to do is end my life cause i just dont want to blame herself for me when im the one who ruined it .
 
OCDguy

OCDguy

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I know you don't mean that regarding your Mother. May I ask what it is that you think you have ruined :hug:
 
M

matt42069

Member
Joined
Aug 18, 2020
Messages
15
Location
Lithuania
Just life in general . I know ill never be happy as i used to be , when i had my chance to make my career at smth i loved i let my inner insecurities take over me and i just did nothing .
 
OCDguy

OCDguy

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Joined
Jun 13, 2016
Messages
1,588
So that's one little set back, and who's to say it would have turned out as you now imagined it would have. As with everything in life, we make mistakes/poor judgements. The thing is to learn from them, make adjustments and move forward. If it were me I would make a list of everything that needs to change in my life, then form a plan in how to get there. Start with the real easy ones first, then as confidence grows, so does momentum, and before you know it you will look back at where you are now, and think to yourself what was that all about. Hope this helps :) PS: letting your folks in on how you are feeling may also make all the difference. They might even know someone who is looking for someone with your talents :)
 
M

matt42069

Member
Joined
Aug 18, 2020
Messages
15
Location
Lithuania
couple days ago my moms cousin took her own life , since i got depressed i started kinda idolasing suicidal people , i read like dozens stories how people who did tryed to overcome depression just ended up ending their life so idk how i can believe like life will end up how i imagine like when for so many people it just ended up worst .
 
OCDguy

OCDguy

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Joined
Jun 13, 2016
Messages
1,588
Going down the road of suicide is a downward spiral, which will make you feel a lot worse than you are probably feeling right now. It will also destroy a lot of your emotions in the process. Much better to reach out for help and support, and as difficult as it feels/seems, make positive changes. It's a much better, happier and all round healthier option which does actually have a future.
 
NWiddi

NWiddi

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Forum Safety Team
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May 6, 2017
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Sheffiield
Hi Matt, I've been where you are now and I'd like to tell you life can improve, you just have to give it a chance, I'm 40 and spent most of my 20's doing what you're doing now. My life still isn't perfect but I'm getting much better at dealing with others after suffering lots of social anxiety after a tough time at high school.

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