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Failing at bulimia

H

Hobbitybluebird

Member
Joined
Jan 16, 2019
Messages
5
#1
Sounds awful I know but I haven't ate for several days, living off a diet off boiled eggs and water. Tonight I had the highest takeaway and wolfed it down but then felt so guilty that jspent half an hour trying to throwing all up. I only managed a little bit but I felt like a failure for being unable to get it all out. And now I'm sat here wondering why the hell I'm feeling like this. I'm a healthy size 12, a mother, a wife and a health care professional but I dispise myself and have done for years, always been on yoyo diets and hated my appearance. But now I feel I'm overstepping the line. I need help. Please someone I can't tell anyone because it would jeopardise my life!
 
Fairy Lucretia

Fairy Lucretia

Well-known member
Forum Guide
Joined
Apr 9, 2011
Messages
28,044
Location
Magical fairy wonderland xxxx
#2
hi -just hugs
massive massive hugs
things sound so hard for you
i hope you find joining the forum helps
lots of love
and welcome
Lu x
 
Urban Hermit

Urban Hermit

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 18, 2019
Messages
500
#3
I'm sorry your feelings so bad. I think you should speak to your GP or get some professional advice.
Is this the first time or part of a larger pattern ?
Bad/low self image is a real problem and not something you should feel bad about.

People are here to listen and offer advice.
Take care X
 
RunningDisorder

RunningDisorder

New member
Joined
Jan 22, 2019
Messages
3
Location
Oregon
#4
Sounds awful I know but I haven't ate for several days, living off a diet off boiled eggs and water. Tonight I had the highest takeaway and wolfed it down but then felt so guilty that jspent half an hour trying to throwing all up. I only managed a little bit but I felt like a failure for being unable to get it all out. And now I'm sat here wondering why the hell I'm feeling like this. I'm a healthy size 12, a mother, a wife and a health care professional but I dispise myself and have done for years, always been on yoyo diets and hated my appearance. But now I feel I'm overstepping the line. I need help. Please someone I can't tell anyone because it would jeopardise my life!
It is great that you are able to tune into your feelings and address your fear. You are also able to see, how great you are! Healthy size, a mother, a wife. Can you tune into yourself and address why you decided to stop eating for several days? What have you been trying to change with this? What changed?
 
H

Hobbitybluebird

Member
Joined
Jan 16, 2019
Messages
5
#5
My eating habits have always been up and down. Binge eating one week, strict diet the next. I never seem to be happy unless I'm at my skinnier size. I know my weight is healthy but I'm just desperate to get thin again and now I'm starving myself but then being sick when I binge. I have very low self esteem, can barely look at myself in the mirror most days
 
RunningDisorder

RunningDisorder

New member
Joined
Jan 22, 2019
Messages
3
Location
Oregon
#6
When you try to visual yourself and your daily life from a healthy perspective, what do you see?

I can see a metal strong mother who has a husband and clear goal to get a healthy relationship with food again - a great perspective I think!

Now you!
 
H

Hobbitybluebird

Member
Joined
Jan 16, 2019
Messages
5
#7
I see a woman who's children and husband deserve better than me and I'm holding them back somehow. I see a loser of sorts, a waste of oxygen and an ugly woman.