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Gajolene

Gajolene

Well-known member
Joined
May 30, 2012
Messages
7,826
Location
small town Ontario, Canada
Ok I see the arguments for and against meds all the time on here, I do both, like Cancer I have long periods of remission where no meds are needed and periods of relapse with PTSD symptoms when I have to go back on mood stabilizers, sometime for only a month sometimes extending beyond a year.. I am having to admitt, to myself. That right now I most probably need meds to get back on track and rebalance my chemicals and ability to function. But still self medicating and denying it.

As life so enormously overwhelming right now. hmmm three months adjusting back onto meds or just continuing without and struggling and hoping I can regain it back on my own.. That is the question and only "I" can come up with the answer.
 
tabbykitten

tabbykitten

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Joined
Nov 10, 2013
Messages
4,430
Location
cloud cuckoo land (UK)
I can understand how frustrating you must find it. I have tried coming off meds - frequently. Best I have ever managed though is a few months of feeling reasonable without medication then the crap kicks back in. I am lucky in that I do not normally need a strong medication any more but I think that is because I recognise when things start to get bad and make sure I seek medical treatment again. "only" taking an over the counter herbal remedy but so far so good.

Worth being aware that some alternative meds (like herbal remedies) are actually very powerful. They work but should be treated with the same respect as prescribed meds.

Have some hugs Gajolene. Hope you manage to make the right decision for you.
 
SomersetScorpio

SomersetScorpio

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Joined
Aug 17, 2012
Messages
13,531
Location
The West Country
You're right in that only you know what's best for yourself.

But I completely understand how challenging it can be to have your mental health fluctuate and not know whether or not you need more help or the more difficult times will pass.
I think that whatever you decide, it's a credit to you that you're able to recognise that things might be not be going so well at the moment. x
 
Gajolene

Gajolene

Well-known member
Joined
May 30, 2012
Messages
7,826
Location
small town Ontario, Canada
Funny I have enough in my drawer too last me three weeks at least, the boys stop me from doing it, I have the mom gene, which seems to overcome all others. I always put their severe mental health concerns over my own.

In all consideration I am thinking on this before my PSTD therapy two days before the fact and knowing what this will wake up in me.

Wish I could help myself first in this, living arrangements and help for all three balance on me being the care giver not the care reciever. They are not able to care for me if I faulter,

My psych says he will not prescribe if I do not take them, with no individual support, I will not because I know the dangers involved when doing this completely alone.And Know what will happen to our home if I lose it again.
 
V

volnash

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Joined
Oct 16, 2014
Messages
566
Stay strong Gajolene there is no shame in taking medicine and no defeat, this hits home for me as i have PTSD i am recieving anti anxiety medicine now for my attacks, including of course abilify which is stabilising, for a period and im happy for it, as these medicines dont inhibit me from doing the things i like yet have the desired effect for the time being, as for seroquel etc, i have little experience and cant say much, i will however say this much, i believe in you and it seems like you got a good understanding of yourself, this is admirable and i wish i could do the same, not in here to start a debate over medicine but simply because i care, i didnt see this until now, i wish you the best and i know you will get back to your old self, i believe and know that this will happen, for yourself and family.

Take care always.☺
 
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M

Mastiff mom

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Jun 22, 2014
Messages
1,157
Location
Washington,DC
Dearest Gajolene, I can not tell you how much I admire your strength, your dedication to your boys and your lovely heart. I know you will do what is right for yourself and your family. You are in my thoughts-I'm here for you if you need an ear. Huge hugs.
 
M

mind_the_cones

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Joined
Nov 8, 2014
Messages
62
I have been on anti-depressive medication for 4 years now... Since I graduated from Uni, one of my main life goals is to one day become stable without medication. Whether this is achieveable or simply a pipe dream, I don't know. I am not totally opposed to staying on some dosage of medication if it improves my quality of life, but feel no medication is worth aiming for.

It was all caused by some Uni stress, loneliness and starting to question my sexuality. For the first 2 years of medication, I was on 150ml of Fluxoetine. This reduced the misery a bit, but made me very sleepy for the first couple of months. I would come in from Uni at about 3-4pm and immediately go to bed for another couple of hours (I never sleep in afternoons unless absolutely necessary). Things gradually got better, and by Summer of 2012 I thought I had recovered from my issues after passing a Uni re-sit.

But the Winter of 2012 made me so miserable, I nearly didn't turn up for one of my Uni exams out of sheer misery. I knew I was going to fail, and just wasn't in the mood. Ended up getting 10% in that exam (the 41% I got in the resit is the most happy I have ever been at an exam result!). As a result, I went back to my Uni counsellor and my GP. They switched me to Venlafaxine 150ml (which I am back onto now). For me, this seems to work quite well. It helps me feel happier without suffering too much tiredness. A little edginess and anxiety, but not too bad. I got through my Uni resits that Summer, and then switched up to 225ml of Venlafaxine for my final year of Uni. In hindsight, I can't remember why I did this. My final year of Uni was no more stressful than the previous couple of years. All the increased dosage did was make me more edgy and anxious.

So I stayed on 225ml Venlafaxine until Graduation. Since then, I've gone from 225ml to alternating between 150ml and 225ml (I felt no withdrawal symptoms with that change), to back to 150ml. Switching back down to 150ml was difficult, I was looking for work at the time and it was not long after the previous change. However, it has now been about 7-8 weeks since last switch and I feel fine. Since then I've found some work, and done alot of discovering about my sexual/gender orientation. Stuff that I had been trying to cover up for ages... Trying to cover it up suddenly was what made me depressed in the first place. I don't know why, but one day I woke up and felt guilty for Masturbation and my fantasies about being a Woman. Then I tried to repress it... :(

Anyway, what I've learn out of all of this is: don't feel bad for being on medication. It is better to take the medication and feel better, than to not take it and feel rubbish.If it's what you need, then do it. But don't change too often, let your brain settle and stabilse on current cocktail before changing. You won't know until your brain stabilises what difference the medication has made. And try to see things long-term. If it's just one or teo bad days, don't overract. But if things are consistently bad, then you need to make a change

Gajolene, I do hope you feel better soon :)

Matthew

PS. Since 2010, I have really suffered during Winter time. The short days, long nights and cold weather makes me really feel miserable. Some days, it's like there is no cheer at all :(
 
R

Rose19602

Guest
You've done well Matthew to get through those tough times. I wish you luck for the future.

Gajolene,
You have such a tough domestic situation and so much pressure on you. Acknowledging your role in keeping your family stable is something I understand too. It's a tough call to take meds so that you can stay strong for others.....but it's something a lot of parents face. I empathise.

I wasn't sure what you were saying....have you got new therapy for your PTSD coming up? Is that what's triggering you? Understandable, if so.

With PTSD does it help to be medicated and to deaden the panic/anxiety when you go for therapy or do you need to be able to experience the emotions associated with the trauma?

I only ask because I went through therapy, lightly medicated...which took the edge off, but I could still keep in touch with the emotions. Unfortunately this then meant I needed further help when I withdrew. Admittedly, my parenting went south during the therapy.....

Therapy of the kind you're about to go through will stir things up. That's going to be tough to deal with on top of supporting your sons.

We're here for you! Lean on us if it helps
x
 
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