• Welcome! It’s great to see you.

    Our forum members are people, maybe like yourself, who experience mental health difficulties or who have had them at some point in their life. Amongst our membership there is a wealth of expertise that has been developed through having to deal with mental health issues.

    We are an actively moderated forum with a team of experienced moderators. We also have a specialist safety team that works extra hard to keep the forum safe for visitors and members.

    Register now to access many more features and forums!

Facing my fears makes me more anxious

C

cherries99

Member
Joined
Feb 19, 2019
Messages
5
Location
United Kingdom
Hi all, I’m a new member. One common thing about my anxieties is when I face them I often become more anxious about them than before because I’ve experienced these horrible worries and sometimes panic attacks and now don’t ever want to do them again.

An example of this is when I went to a concert a couple of months ago with a friend, I was terrified about the whole experience and now I feel even more anxious about going to a concert.

Any advice would be great!
 
Soul_Deeps

Soul_Deeps

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 31, 2017
Messages
189
Location
Germany
What's your kind of anxiety? Social phobia is a bit more complicated because facing it can go wrong if not chosen well what you do.

Also make sure you won't have safety nets. Was it for example easier for you because you had a friend with you?

Eventually it will get better with training. Facing fears a couple of times is sadly not enough. You just need to trust that it will be worth it in the end, even if it takes some time and can have setbacks.
 
C

cherries99

Member
Joined
Feb 19, 2019
Messages
5
Location
United Kingdom
Sure so one of my biggest anxieties is toilet anxiety and the fear that if I’m not near a bathroom and I need to go, I start panicking like crazy. So going up to London which was a 2 hour trip for me and my friend, I was really worried and even more so because I was with a friend who doesn’t know about it.

I suppose I have to do keep pushing myself by going places and try not to think about the toilet but it’s honestly taken over my life to the point now that I don’t have any friends because I’m scared to go out with them.
 
Soul_Deeps

Soul_Deeps

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 31, 2017
Messages
189
Location
Germany
The most helpful thing here would be seeing a therapist and do a behavioural therapy. There are some things to pay attention to when exposures. You can do them wrong and then they are not helping.
 
G

gam9147

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 18, 2019
Messages
369
Location
Delaware, USA
Exposure therapy isn't a 1 ... 2 done kind of thing either, make sure your patient with yourself. Depending on how long and how severe your anxieties are, it can take some time and many exposures in order to truly feel better. Also you need to be following the proper cognitive behavioral technique. Just simple exposure by itself may very well, and I believe should make you more anxious in the short run. You need to work on correcting your thinking, breathing, relaxation, counters and other techniques as well.
 
C

cherries99

Member
Joined
Feb 19, 2019
Messages
5
Location
United Kingdom
Thank you all for the advice. I guess I'm just really low as this has been impacting my life for a couple of years now and as I'm getting older, I hate the fact I can't be more independent. But I will definitely take your advice on board, watch some videos about it and talk to people. I really appreciate you taking the time out of your day to help me.
 
Top