F.u.r.i.o.u.s

B

Beautiful-Disaster

Guest
#1
5 minutes ago, I was fine. Now I am furious.

WHY?

I have no idea what so ever.

I just wanna rip this illness right out of me, spit on it, stamp on it and call it all the names under the sun. But I can't. And I want to. I want it gone. I want it gone NOW. it is killingme and destroying every part of me that I ever knew!!!!!!!!!!!!

:low::low::low::low::low::low::low::low::low::low::low::low::low::low::low::low::low::low::low::low::low::low::low::low::low::low::low::low::low::low::low::low::low::low:
 
Greytabby

Greytabby

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 3, 2012
Messages
118
Location
South Carolina USA
#2
Hi Beautiful-Disaster... What your feeling is really quite normal... I feel that way about my illness too... You are not abnormal about this attitude what so ever...

KAT
 
B

Beautiful-Disaster

Guest
#3
I just dont understand.

I just don't.

I don't if I ever will ''get it''

There is just 2 much to it, and one diagnosis contridicts the other so what am i meant to believe :'(
 
Greytabby

Greytabby

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 3, 2012
Messages
118
Location
South Carolina USA
#4
I have been getting different diagnosis too... One was that I was bipolar... another schizoaffective... another a dissociative disorder... One doctor even said I just had a bad attitude... Don't feel bad because you get conflicting diagnosis... It isn't your fault honey... and despite their education doctors are still imperfect... To this day I still don't know what my true diagnosis is... The important thing is that you do what helps "you" to deal with whatever illness it is... A hobby... whatever form of treatment.... For me I write poems... Read... Do a couple of Facebook games... Come to this forum... Blog... whatever I can do to focus myself on anything other than to dwell on my illness... You focus on you... no one knows what you need and what helps you more that you do... Everyone is different... Just hang in there... and never hesitate to PM me if you need to talk privately... :hug1:

KAT
 
Last edited:
B

Beautiful-Disaster

Guest
#5
But what happens if I don't know what helps and all of the above stuff doesnt take away my anger??
 
Greytabby

Greytabby

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 3, 2012
Messages
118
Location
South Carolina USA
#6
It takes time and patience honey... I finally started using mindfulness to help me... but It doesn't help everyone... It takes a strong person to make it work... I have had to deal with a lot of anger lately... mostly because of selfish uncaring people... What works for me may not work for you... You just have to keep looking... and not give up... We are fighting a very difficult war... and everyday will yield a different battle... On some days working a hobby will work and other days crawling in bed all day and crying will help... The key is to hold on... Don't let this illness defeat you... Don't let it win...

KAT
 
B

Beautiful-Disaster

Guest
#7
i dont think i know how to cry, i can feel it inside but the tears just don't exist..i am trying to stay constantly busy. I am going days where i am awake for 30 hours, then 21 hours etc sleeping is scaring me at the moment ;-(
 
Greytabby

Greytabby

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 3, 2012
Messages
118
Location
South Carolina USA
#8
I get that way too... You must be a strong person to endure this as you have... Just keep holding on... If I don't answer it's because my daughter's CNA just got here... She will be here for 4 hours... You hang in there... and PM me if you need too... You are not being a bother at all... :)

KAT
 
Hope2366less

Hope2366less

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 14, 2012
Messages
151
#10
I know the feeling, IMO it's either a straw breaking a camels back situation where you don't know you're near the tipping point, or there's a volcanic build up thing going on, except you forget you're a volcano and have a delusion you're an iceberg before a titanic eruption. I wish I could help but can only say my sympathies are with you and hope you find a way to deal with it better than I.