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Eye contact and staring - makes me seem weird and is killing me

N

nmg13mx

New member
Joined
Dec 27, 2012
Messages
1
Hi guys

I've sort of recently developed this staring issue about 2 years ago and it is completely tearing me apart. Whenever i look at someone I automatically stare at them without my control. Its been getting worse lately. Now when i have eye contact with someone my eyes widen and the person I'm talking to eyes widen and then they look away or have real trouble looking at me. My own girlfriend has trouble looking at me now. I'm trying really hard to control it but its almost impossible. When I look at my self in the mirror I look fine but then I look at someone else and my eyes go into a stare. I never used to have this issue and its really making me super antisocial. I used to be a very fun and loving person to talk to and now I feel like nobody wants to look at me. Please help with any ideas that you have! I thought about going to a doctor but i don't know what they could do for me.
 
G

gpysc

Active member
Joined
Dec 26, 2012
Messages
26
Years ago I was also obsessed with my eye-movements; imaging all kind of consequences because of it. It was also my only channel through which I reached other people. It was always wrong independent of the direction of my gaze. I not only thought in terms of ‘uncomfortable’, which most of all I was myself, but also in all kind of possible interpretations my gaze could provoke.
Nowadays I am less troubled with it. I am certain that I still behave strange, only I don’t believe that it is only the eyes which evoke that impression. I have read of experiments in which different eyes and mouths are combined and the impression on observers was measured. It was the mouth which made the difference, but people thought it were the eyes. With your whole body you make clear that you are going to do something to them with your eyes and they respond to that.
Out of disdain I never watched television during this period. To improve my foreign language skills I started watching foreign television during the meal, later moving the television as close as a conversation partner. Now I am so used to looking at people, that I don’t even realize it. But maybe it’s because my libido now inhabits something else. What is now the channel to the outside world?
 
Anxious-H3RO

Anxious-H3RO

New member
Joined
Jan 23, 2013
Messages
3
Location
California
I have this problem too, it makes my life so difficult. During lectures, I sometimes put my hoodie on just so I wouldn't see anyone in my peripheral vision or else it would be difficult to concentrate to what my professor is saying. I can't even look into anyones eyes without it being uncomfortable. I look away, I don't want to look rude but it's hard to conversate when I make eye contact. I don't know whats wrong with me :C I feel I am becoming less social.
 
C

Comrade24

New member
Joined
Mar 18, 2013
Messages
1
Finally! I've been looking for a solution for this. I've been in the military for 5 years and started having this problem 4 years ago. I really don't know what to do. Everytime I go to meetings, briefings, training and mil gatherings people always think that I'm crazy. Even my friends and co-workers think that I'm weird/crazy I make them uncomfortable and it comes to the point that they really avoid sitting next to me and in front of me. I am really having a bad time dealing with this. I've been searching on the internet about this.
 
NicoretteGummed

NicoretteGummed

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 15, 2012
Messages
6,183
Location
SW England
Sometimes difficulty with eye contact can be a symptom of something quite serious such as a Mental Illness.

It can be linked to Schizophrenia, Schizo-Affective Disorder, Manic Depression as well as Depression and Anxiety.

It can be especially linked to Autism and Aspergers and I would recommend any Posters on this thread to view the "Other Disorders" Section on this Forum
 
M

Mambavenom

Member
Joined
Aug 8, 2012
Messages
8
To anyone who might have any advice for me or if u just want someone to talk to heres my email (email removed) little phobia of mine has consistently gotten worse im living life as a hermit now and i have no options i dont know what to do anymore
 
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coldwater00

coldwater00

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 19, 2013
Messages
3,380
Location
Yorkshire
I used to have a terrible problem with eye contact so much so that I couldn't even look in the direction of a persons face when they were talking to me I had to stare at the wall or into the distance or something which made it seem like I was very cold and not really interested in what the other person was saying.

I still get really anxious now when I have to talk to someone face to face because I worry that my face won't look relaxed enough or I look worried or angry or something because sometimes when I have videoed myself talking my voice and facial expressions seem weird and awkward and I do worry about other people picking up on that a lot. I can look people in the eye now and I'm a lot better with face to face conversation than I used to be, it just seems a lot more natural to me I guess and not such a huge deal. It is still scary though and It aint perfect yet.
 
D

diddypinks

ACCOUNT CLOSED
Joined
Jun 7, 2009
Messages
1,948
look at the spot between the eyebrows its easier and no they cant tell:)
 
D

Danasb2013

New member
Joined
Aug 8, 2013
Messages
1
Embrace it!

Good, strong eye contact is much better than none at all, plus the opposite sex often find it intriguing. Use it to your advantage. Make a perceived negative into a positive.

:eek:
 
HaHaCrazy

HaHaCrazy

Member
Joined
Sep 22, 2013
Messages
8
Location
Rochester NY
I can relate to this. I go to the coffee shop, but usually don't talk to anyone.
Things that have helped me are consciously choosing NOT to think about it, because the more you think about it, the worse it is. Also having positive obsessions, to replace the negative ones, such as writing. I've been in a lot of mental health programs, and my conclusion is: it's best not to label yourself or dwell on sickness. Dwell on wellness, and working hard.
I have used my compulsivity to write a novel about dealing with anxiety and eating disorders through humor. I've tried to keep it positive and entertaining, even though sometimes there is an instinct to write as an outlet
for bad feelings, which is also therapeutic, but not entertaining reading.
 
J

jimindigo

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 13, 2012
Messages
197
Try and sit by the T.V. especially if discussion on for practice with their eyes.
 
M

Megadildoextreme46

New member
Joined
Jan 12, 2014
Messages
1
I get the same thing. Women think I'm a sex fiend, black people think I'm racist, and everyone else just thinks I'm gay. It's not fun.
 
NicoretteGummed

NicoretteGummed

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 15, 2012
Messages
6,183
Location
SW England
I've suffered from Terror of making Eye Contact and it really is a horrible thing to suffer from.

At it's most extreme it makes even the most basic of Socialising very very difficult.
 
Toasted Crumpet

Toasted Crumpet

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Feb 11, 2013
Messages
8,424
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under the Forum Troll bridge
I've been told I stare at people too and that it makes them feel uncomfortable, I don't know I'm doing it and can't really help it. One doctor thought I had an overactive thyroid because of my stare (tested negative)

Then I have the converse where I can't look people in the eye when talking to them.

My partner says in social situations I look stunned, like I haven't a clue what is going on (that's because I don't!) and that most people know how to smile and look interested even when they don't understand what is going on whereas I look like an alien parachuted down to these strange creatures
 
T

Topcat

Guest
I have a problem with making eye contact, it makes me feel uncomfortable. It's been a problem for as long as I remember, and was pointed out to me by my neighbour who came back a bit pissed (I was probably about 13? babysitting) and proceeded to talk to me for an hour, pointing out my lack of eye contact and making me look at her. Uncomfortable much?!
I did a shitty secretarial course at college and they talk about appropriate eye contact at job interviews, so I kind of trained myself (and still consciously practice) to make intermittent/appropriate eye contact. I tend to watch people's mouths (which I realise I do, and maybe that looks weird to others? But I find I can't understand people as clearly if their mouth is covered)
I still can't stand face to face, close contact. Even with my husband. I just want to wither up.
 
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