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Eye contact and staring - makes me seem weird and is killing me

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Mambavenom

Member
Joined
Aug 8, 2012
Messages
8
well i havent found a solution but the two things that have helped was buying glasses with really thick frames to block off my peripheral vision and taking adderall but that was quickly put to an end cause i have no insurance and adderall is freaking expensive...and by the way where r u from
 
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beaniecopa

Member
Joined
Jul 8, 2012
Messages
10
Thanks for responding to me. Im from baltimore. Curious as to what aderal does exactly?
 
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Mambavenom

Member
Joined
Aug 8, 2012
Messages
8
no problem..adderall is kind of like having laser vision like focus and its awesome but it only helped me for about an hour or so that was only thing that sucked but i know they make one that last longer...and drinking small amounts of alcohol helped but that also doesnt last long either and i dont recomend that method..what r ur ways of dealing with it
 
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beaniecopa

Member
Joined
Jul 8, 2012
Messages
10
At the moment i just avoid people. I saw a psychologist and she says it's apart of my low self esteem. I said thats bullshit. I was referred to a psychiatrist. I havent gone yet, but if i learn something new about this i will for sure let you know. Thanks for chatting about it with me. Im 28yo. How old are you?
 
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Mambavenom

Member
Joined
Aug 8, 2012
Messages
8
im 19 how long have you been living with this...and yea ive had about 4 different psychiatrist and they all dont know what to do with me
 
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beaniecopa

Member
Joined
Jul 8, 2012
Messages
10
Since my early 20's. Im just starting to try and deal with it. I feel like i could be so much, but i have this one little thing thats preventing me from succeeding. Im not going to give up on figuring it out though. I encourage you not to give up either. I feel better knowing other people deal with this too. I thought it was unique to me. Where you from?
 
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Mambavenom

Member
Joined
Aug 8, 2012
Messages
8
yea i use to think i was the only one too im from a little town in texas near houston..whats ur name and what do u do in ur spare time
 
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beaniecopa

Member
Joined
Jul 8, 2012
Messages
10
My Names Andre'. I actually have a lot of spare time. Not working at the moment. I just watch tv mostly
 
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Mambavenom

Member
Joined
Aug 8, 2012
Messages
8
did u ever have to deal with this in school and yea thats how i spend most days too or tripping on psychedelics
 
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beaniecopa

Member
Joined
Jul 8, 2012
Messages
10
I smoke weed myself. Maybe a little bit in high school, but wasnt really a problem until i got out.
 
A

afunguy24

New member
Joined
Sep 30, 2012
Messages
1
A cure for staring!

For the love of god, I thought I was alone! I don't have this problem anymore, and I can tell all of you something very important and true. You might not believe it, but it is all in your head! Your actually not staring, it's called a peripheral vision, meaning that you can see what is happening to your right and left, without your eyeballs moving. The reason you think you stare, is because you notice your peripheral vision, which stops you from focusing, and which makes you look at people directly sometimes. I would look at people occasionally, when I thought I stared at them, meaning I would stare at people when I thought i stared, which I didn't to begin with!

If you don't believe me, record yourself with a webcam, and try to look at a point at the screen, while noticing stuff around you, for example a lamp. When you see the recording you will notice that you don't stare "from the side", meaning it's your peripheral vision. I repeat your not staring!!!!! This is very important to understand, it's all in your head! I saw a therapist a year ago, because I just couldn't take it anymore, it changed my life 180 degrees.
My therapist made one exercise where she would sit next to me, and she would tell me if I stared. I noticed her, and I thought I stared, but she told me I didn't. She told me my eyes didn't wander. It was all in my head. When you get nervous, you begin to notice stuff around you, in your peripheral vision. That doesn't mean you stare, it just makes you more nervous and stops you from focusing!

Simple exercise: Record yourself, and look at a point at the screen, whilst "staring at stuff around you". Trust me, the result will blow your mind!
I actually asked my friends in the end, if they had noticed me staring at them, and they told me again and again, NO! And these are friends I have known since I was a kid. You can even take your computer, and go to the library or canteen/public place, record yourself, and look at the screen, do your stuff. You will notice stuff around you, but your eyes won't wander! Trust me! You might move your eyes, when you look directly at something, but not when it is in your peripheral vision. After a while you will get more calm, and the anxiety will go away. Record yourself again and again, and notice that your eyes look completely normal. After sometime you won't even notice anymore!

I don't see my therapist anymore, I saw her a couple of times, she worked with cognitive therapy, and I didn't take any prescription drugs. Just by talking to her, and doing some small assignments, it worked.

And if you think that your problem is worse than mine, than get this: I had this problem with thinking I stared at people since I was 16, up until a year ago. I'm now 28, meaning I had the problem for 12 years of my life. Stop wasting your time, and trust me. It is all in your head!

I hope you all the best, and please write back on your experiences, after you record yourself. It will blow your mind!

I will check up on this page once in a while.

Yours sincerely

Joey
 
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beaniecopa

Member
Joined
Jul 8, 2012
Messages
10
Thanks a lot for that information for the first time in a long time i feel like i might be ok. Where are you from?
 
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beaniecopa

Member
Joined
Jul 8, 2012
Messages
10
I just recorded myself and i think you could be right. i think your advice just changed the course of my entire life. THANK YOU VERY MUCH
 
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Mambavenom

Member
Joined
Aug 8, 2012
Messages
8
Ive been reading this just about ever morning Ive made alot of progress but still have a long way to go but thank you very much for taking the time to write all of that to help people you dont even know
 
D

dureti

New member
Joined
Dec 12, 2012
Messages
1
hi joey

I've the same problem for about 5 years now. It's ruining my life, I'm really struggling. I get that it's all in the head but how do you get over that? I know my eyes aren't physically moving, however I can't control what mind is doing. Please let us know how your therapist helped you to change the mental problem? Thanks.


Ive been reading this just about ever morning Ive made alot of progress but still have a long way to go but thank you very much for taking the time to write all of that to help people you dont even know
A cure for staring!

For the love of god, I thought I was alone! I don't have this problem anymore, and I can tell all of you something very important and true. You might not believe it, but it is all in your head! Your actually not staring, it's called a peripheral vision, meaning that you can see what is happening to your right and left, without your eyeballs moving. The reason you think you stare, is because you notice your peripheral vision, which stops you from focusing, and which makes you look at people directly sometimes. I would look at people occasionally, when I thought I stared at them, meaning I would stare at people when I thought i stared, which I didn't to begin with!

If you don't believe me, record yourself with a webcam, and try to look at a point at the screen, while noticing stuff around you, for example a lamp. When you see the recording you will notice that you don't stare "from the side", meaning it's your peripheral vision. I repeat your not staring!!!!! This is very important to understand, it's all in your head! I saw a therapist a year ago, because I just couldn't take it anymore, it changed my life 180 degrees.
My therapist made one exercise where she would sit next to me, and she would tell me if I stared. I noticed her, and I thought I stared, but she told me I didn't. She told me my eyes didn't wander. It was all in my head. When you get nervous, you begin to notice stuff around you, in your peripheral vision. That doesn't mean you stare, it just makes you more nervous and stops you from focusing!

Simple exercise: Record yourself, and look at a point at the screen, whilst "staring at stuff around you". Trust me, the result will blow your mind!
I actually asked my friends in the end, if they had noticed me staring at them, and they told me again and again, NO! And these are friends I have known since I was a kid. You can even take your computer, and go to the library or canteen/public place, record yourself, and look at the screen, do your stuff. You will notice stuff around you, but your eyes won't wander! Trust me! You might move your eyes, when you look directly at something, but not when it is in your peripheral vision. After a while you will get more calm, and the anxiety will go away. Record yourself again and again, and notice that your eyes look completely normal. After sometime you won't even notice anymore!

I don't see my therapist anymore, I saw her a couple of times, she worked with cognitive therapy, and I didn't take any prescription drugs. Just by talking to her, and doing some small assignments, it worked.

And if you think that your problem is worse than mine, than get this: I had this problem with thinking I stared at people since I was 16, up until a year ago. I'm now 28, meaning I had the problem for 12 years of my life. Stop wasting your time, and trust me. It is all in your head!

I hope you all the best, and please write back on your experiences, after you record yourself. It will blow your mind!

I will check up on this page once in a while.

Yours sincerely

Joey
 
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