• Hi. It’s great to see you. Welcome!

    Our forum members are people, maybe like yourself, who experience mental health difficulties or who have had them at some point in their life. Amongst our membership there is a wealth of expertise that has been developed through having to deal with mental health issues.

    We are an actively moderated forum with a team of experienced moderators. We also have a specialist safety team that works extra hard to keep the forum safe for visitors and members.

    Register now to access many more features and forums!

Eye contact and staring - makes me seem weird and is killing me

H

hairyrodent

New member
Joined
Jan 12, 2012
Messages
3
Hello everyone! I hope someone here can help provide some advice.

I have some issues with eye contact and perepheral vision that are really annoying. I don't know if it is a mental disorder or something physical. The problems are:

1.) I have hyper sensitive peripheral vision, with the result that if someone is sitting next to/ near me, I can see them even when I am not directly looking at them. So for instance I will be watching TV or perhaps a lecture, but I can latch onto a person out of the corner of my I and it produces the affect of me staring at them. People find this very uncomfortable and will even move away or shield there eyes with a hand to block me from thier vision. Sounds weird, but it's true.

2.) Normal eye contact suring conversations is hard, I no longer know where to look. I end up looking directly into thier eyes and again, produce an off-putting staring effect. I have tried moving my gaze to other areas of the face, but it does not work too well, I always end up having a staring competetino with them. The result is that when people talk to me, they quite often shut there eyes for long periods or look away.

Interestingly this has not been a factor from childhood, it just suddenly happened a number of years ago in my early twenties.

Any ideas?

Thanks!
 
A

Ainsworth

Guest
wow the first one is fascinating, dunno what to say about it though. soz

i have difficulty making eye contact, i have to think about it, so i look at peoples mouths if i have to look directly at them. it helps in two ways, 1, people see that i am actually listening to them and 2, it aids me to hear them, if i cant see their mouth i seem to lose track of the convo.
 
F

fmlfml

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 29, 2011
Messages
532
I'm the same really, it doesn't need to be anything serious.
Before I couldn't look into thier eyes because I was just nervous of it.

Now, It appears I make people uncomfortable.
I am too intense, but I try to be humble and kind.
(A girl recently told me, that my eyes were Scorpio eyes haha.)
Sometimes I spend too much time thinking about it.
I think the eyes speak more than words though.

To me, I think it's about being conscious of your eye movement and feelings.
I atleast Am, and i'm trying to master it everyday.

I don't think it's anything serious, or bad.
Many many many people think a bout this.
 
H

hairyrodent

New member
Joined
Jan 12, 2012
Messages
3
I'm the same really, it doesn't need to be anything serious.
Before I couldn't look into thier eyes because I was just nervous of it.

Now, It appears I make people uncomfortable.
I am too intense, but I try to be humble and kind.
(A girl recently told me, that my eyes were Scorpio eyes haha.)
Sometimes I spend too much time thinking about it.
I think the eyes speak more than words though.

To me, I think it's about being conscious of your eye movement and feelings.
I atleast Am, and i'm trying to master it everyday.

I don't think it's anything serious, or bad.
Many many many people think a bout this.
thanks for your answer, yes I guess I may be making too big a deal of it, but I really think it freaks people out and it's making me miserable :-(
 
F

fmlfml

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 29, 2011
Messages
532
thanks for your answer, yes I guess I may be making too big a deal of it, but I really think it freaks people out and it's making me miserable :-(
Get comfortable about your eye contact awareness, because it's better having it once you get the hang of it.
;) IT will get better, I promise!
 
S

statusone

Guest
Hello everyone! I hope someone here can help provide some advice.

I have some issues with eye contact and perepheral vision that are really annoying. I don't know if it is a mental disorder or something physical. The problems are:

1.) I have hyper sensitive peripheral vision, with the result that if someone is sitting next to/ near me, I can see them even when I am not directly looking at them. So for instance I will be watching TV or perhaps a lecture, but I can latch onto a person out of the corner of my I and it produces the affect of me staring at them. People find this very uncomfortable and will even move away or shield there eyes with a hand to block me from thier vision. Sounds weird, but it's true.

2.) Normal eye contact suring conversations is hard, I no longer know where to look. I end up looking directly into thier eyes and again, produce an off-putting staring effect. I have tried moving my gaze to other areas of the face, but it does not work too well, I always end up having a staring competetino with them. The result is that when people talk to me, they quite often shut there eyes for long periods or look away.

Interestingly this has not been a factor from childhood, it just suddenly happened a number of years ago in my early twenties.

Any ideas?

Thanks!
OMG are you serious!!!! ? I have the EXACT same thing.... I have been hitting forums hard trying to find an answer, This is so weird. I was starting to think I am the only one in the world.lol, actually I had to reread your name to make sure i wasnt me who posted this...

I can NOT sit next to anyone in class. It is wayyyyy worse when I am in a circle or at a table or something. I ended up buying glasses with a thick side frame so I can just focus on the prof. It's brutal to hav. Makes you seem like you have neck problems (always trying to look away) orlike you're on drugs because againg you always try to look away.

People wll always try to cover their eyes too cus they feel uncomfortable. I'm like you, I've developed this phobia like recently, but irnoically before I had it, I was sitting in class and this girl kept starring at me thru her peripherals and I thught to myself "man how much would it suck to be afraid of people feeling awkward under your peripherals" and now I have my answer. Fuckin eh.

Look, I want t say though, not to be an internet creep but if you want to talk about it (cus I know I do), pm me. I'll be glad to have a back and forth about a topic that I can never talk about.
 
A

angelk01

Guest
yeah i feel exactly the same really awkward making eye contact
as i feel if i do not look at the person speaking it will come across
as rude as if im not interested but at the same time if i stare too much
it looks weird as sometimes people get freaked out lol. So what i do generally
i try to listen to the conversation nod my head and then look at them and look away
but mind i look at them for quite a few seconds so they know i'm interested. xxx
 
B

BipolarJ

Member
Joined
Jan 26, 2012
Messages
11
I'm kind of this way too. I can watch something without actually looking directly at it, which I think is what you're describing. I never gave a thought to it being unusual - I thought it was something everyone could do, to be honest!

As for direct eye contact, I can sympathise - I hate any kind of prolonged direct eye contact. It always makes me feel uncomfortable, especially in situations such as relationships. I very rarely look at the person I'm talking to.

I don't know what to suggest to get over either of these things, as they haven't personally been a problem to me. I just figure if people don't like how I act when I talk to them then they should just not talk to me! lol
 
R

randalthor40

Active member
Joined
Feb 16, 2012
Messages
27
Location
Tennessee
This happens to me all the time, I really need a course in how to make eye contact normally again.
 
B

beaniecopa

Member
Joined
Jul 8, 2012
Messages
10
Omg!!! I thought i was the only one. I experience the exact same thing. Its ruining my life even my family thinks i'm weird and i dont know what to do. You described it perfectly i could have wrote that. I have no friends because of it everyone thinks im weird. Would love to chat with you to see if you found any solutions.
 
E

Esquire

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 2, 2012
Messages
626
Location
Knots Landing
I speaking from my past since I don't get out much anymore but when I did, I had a terrible time looking people in the eye. People use to notice though. I now look people directly in the eye and if they don't like what they see too bad.
 
W

White Dragon

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 30, 2008
Messages
141
Location
Norwich
I understand. I look in someone's general direction and if they look in my direction, I avoid eye contact because I worry that they will think I'm staring at them.
 
M

Mambavenom

Member
Joined
Aug 8, 2012
Messages
8
Im really glad to know im not alone ive been living with this exact same problem for about 2 1/2 years and i tried to commit suicide because of it and its still floats my mind. The only thing that kind of helped was adderall but its only a temporary fix. I hope someone out there knows how to fix this problem because evertime i tell my therapist about it she just tells me to not think about it but of course i know its not that simple.
 
B

beaniecopa

Member
Joined
Jul 8, 2012
Messages
10
I have the same exact problem. Contact me. I would be interested to how you cope with it or if you've found a solution
 
B

beaniecopa

Member
Joined
Jul 8, 2012
Messages
10
If your therapist tells you not to think about it you need a new therapist. I go through the exact same thing. I have hardly any friends people think im weird even my family. I would be interested to know if you found any solutions.
 
Top