Extremely clingy/jealous/paranoid in relationships?

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spacingspaces

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Okay so i don't get like this in every relationship. I've been in quite a few long distance relationships. I tend to go for long distance since i have social anxiety. From now on though i will try to find a non long distance relationship lol. Anyways most of these long distance relationships ended sort of badly. I only ever had really strong feelings in one of these and that was the one where i would get really clingy, jealous, paranoid.. etc. All of these feelings feel amplified when the person lives in a different country. I felt like i was in love with this girl but we never met in person as she lived very far away. We would chat on skype... etc. I would ALWAYS be paranoid that she was cheating. I was very clingy and if she took longer than usual to text back i would start to worry...etc. I said some very nasty things to her as i truly believed at one stage that she was doing something behind my back. The stuff i said to her was really bad. When we broke up i pretended i had killed myself by putting a tagline saying "if you're reading this i killed myself" on my profile on the website that we used to talk. I took it down after a few hours as i felt bad. Still a bad thing to do i know. In all the other relationships i was in i didn't feel anywhere near that bad but i haven't liked anyone as much as her either. Is this a symptom of a mental illness or what? Should i mention it to my psychiatrist?
 
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EstherRose94

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It sounds sorta BPD-esque
 
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spacingspaces

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It sounds sorta BPD-esque
I do relate to a lot of symptoms from that. That relationship was 2 and a half years ago and i've grown a lot since then. I've been in relationships recently but didn't have strong feelings so i don't know how i'd act now if i got into a relationship with someone i fell in love with.
 
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Zoe1

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yup thats me !
or at least it was. I think maybe my mental health treatment
has calmed me down a bit
so that I'm not being insulting about it

but then I'm not actually in a relationship at the moment
and who knows what I would be like
because like you I can be very clingy and jealous
once I fall in love with someone

and to the point where I'm completely hypnotised and have lost myself
so I would need a partner that was aware of these things
and knew how to deal with them

:grouphug:
 
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spacingspaces

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yup thats me !
or at least it was. I think maybe my mental health treatment
has calmed me down a bit
so that I'm not being insulting about it

but then I'm not actually in a relationship at the moment
and who knows what I would be like
because like you I can be very clingy and jealous
once I fall in love with someone

and to the point where I'm completely hypnotised and have lost myself
so I would need a partner that was aware of these things
and knew how to deal with them

:grouphug:
Sorry you have to go through them feelings as well. May i ask if you are diagnosed with anything?
 
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Zoe1

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paranoid schizophrenia apparently !

funny because I behave so normally at the moment
 
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spacingspaces

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paranoid schizophrenia apparently !

funny because I behave so normally at the moment
Yeah i go through periods where i feel completely normal (apart from some anxiety) and then periods where i feel like everything is wrong with me. I've only been diagnosed with severe social anxiety. I'm working with psychiatrists at the moment. This forum helps a lot too and some of the feedback here helps me find the words to say to my psychiatrist.
 
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Confusedandanxious

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I am very much like that in relationships and I have BPD. I feel so much calmer when not in a relationship.
I waited a few years and stayed on my own, I thought I was better. So I found a relationship and bang....everything came back just as strong. Relationships are a huge trigger for me.
I'm single now, have been for a couple of years and I have no intention of looking for a relationship anytime soon.

My friend had a battle to be my friend. It took 3 years for me to not react to little things with him. Thankfully he was patient and understanding enough to help me through it because now we have a nice friendship. Mostly online, but we do go out from time to time. Distance gets in the way, but I think the distance is a godsend really.
 
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Confusedandanxious

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Sorry. I just went on a personal rant 😳
 
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Zoe1

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yes me too, well I'm quite new here actually
but it does seem to be a very good forum
and you feel that if you have a problem in treatment
that you can check it out with the other guys here
which is really good to know
because now and then I encounter a professional
who is a bit iffy
 
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EstherRose94

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Yeah i didn’t know I was like this until I met my current bf and simultaneously fell for him and became a panicky mess. It was a weird combo cause I was so obsessed with him but also experienced some seriously scary feelings 🙈

Usually I’m back to normal now unless I’m feeling stressed for unrelated reasons. And I guess I’ve grown a lot. And somehow we’ve stayed together lol.
 
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spacingspaces

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I am very much like that in relationships and I have BPD. I feel so much calmer when not in a relationship.
I waited a few years and stayed on my own, I thought I was better. So I found a relationship and bang....everything came back just as strong. Relationships are a huge trigger for me.
I'm single now, have been for a couple of years and I have no intention of looking for a relationship anytime soon.

My friend had a battle to be my friend. It took 3 years for me to not react to little things with him. Thankfully he was patient and understanding enough to help me through it because now we have a nice friendship. Mostly online, but we do go out from time to time. Distance gets in the way, but I think the distance is a godsend really.
Most of my friends are online, i find it much easier. When i'm around friends irl then i start getting paranoid that they can read my mind n stuff and like i'm giving off bad vibes that will make them change their view on me.
 
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spacingspaces

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Yeah i didn’t know I was like this until I met my current bf and simultaneously fell for him and became a panicky mess. It was a weird combo cause I was so obsessed with him but also experienced some seriously scary feelings 🙈

Usually I’m back to normal now unless I’m feeling stressed for unrelated reasons. And I guess I’ve grown a lot. And somehow we’ve stayed together lol.
Sorry you had to go through that. I know it sucks. May i ask what you are diagnosed with?
 
sadpunchingbag

sadpunchingbag

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Dude consider actually going out with a girl you can meet as for all the things in your title if you get like that you should seek some therapy from a psychologist to get to root of why you feel like that. Not trying to be a dick but if i felt like that i would not be in a relationship until i was fit
 
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spacingspaces

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Dude consider actually going out with a girl you can meet as for all the things in your title if you get like that you should seek some therapy from a psychologist to get to root of why you feel like that. Not trying to be a dick but if i felt like that i would not be in a relationship until i was fit
I feel like it would be even worse if i had strong feelings for a girl that i was actually with irl. You're right though. I am seeing a psychiatrist and i will mention this to them at the next meeting.
 
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EstherRose94

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Sorry you had to go through that. I know it sucks. May i ask what you are diagnosed with?
Just generalized anxiety but I have some subtle BPDish traits so I relate to a lot of that as well, especially when stressed.

And grad school I think that’s the main thing lol
 
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