Extreme shyness

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FoxGuy

New member
Joined
Dec 6, 2009
Messages
3
Hey there.

I've been a part of a forum for over a year now that holds regular meet-ups. Yesterday I finally went along to one. There was probably over 100 people there.

It was a fun day in general I guess, but as much as I tried, I just couldn't bring myself to talk to anyone. Even the people I knew. I spent half of the day just wandering around, too shy to do anything until someone who knew me called my name and I spent the rest of the day with him, and he was no doubt fed up of me by the end.
Now I've spent most of this morning almost in tears hating myself for not making an effort. How can I get over this? I really want to go again, it's been years since I last socialised properly because every time I try I'm too scared to talk to people.

Behind a computer screen I'm absolutely fine talking to them, but as soon as it's face-to-face I just shrivel up... This social phobia has ruined my life for years, I really need help with it and I don't know where to go...

Thanks in advance for any advice anybody can give me.

-FoxGuy
 
A

Ainsworth

Guest
FoxGuy

It sounds to me you did make a big effort! you found someone who made you feel comfortable and tried to join in. Maybe next time it could be one of the others who make you feel safe and hopefully that may build for you.

dont beat yourself up, you have to do this step by step :)
 
F

Fairyjane

New member
Joined
Aug 24, 2009
Messages
3
Location
Qld, Australia
Hey Foxguy,

I think you need to be commended for even going let alone staying for a period of time!!!! I would've been out of there like a bat out of hell with that many people!!! Be nice to yourself.....next time organise to meet someone beforehand and go with them that always makes me feel better. But above all remember to be nice to yourself there are already enough people out there who will not be so nice so treat yourself like your own best friend and think what you would say to them and say it to yourself.

Applauding your efforts from my computer.......

Fairyjane:clap:
 
F

FoxGuy

New member
Joined
Dec 6, 2009
Messages
3
Thank you both for your words of encouragement. :D
I do sort of feel satisfied that I could get that far but still disappointed that I didn't truly integrate...

I did meet somebody on the way down there, we walked around the city for a while beforehand, but understandably once at the meet they wanted to talk to their own friends and other people they had planned to meet there.

There's talk of a much smaller meet-up (probably max. about 10 or so) a bit nearer to me after new year, so hopefully that will be a lot easier for me and I will be able to take away something constructive from it.

Thanks again for your replies!

-FoxGuy
 
L

Lost.Boy

Active member
Joined
Oct 16, 2009
Messages
37
Location
East Anglia
Hi foxguy, I know how you feel and I think you did very well to go in the first place.

I tend to do things like that too, i'll go somewhere sit like a loner until someone I know speaks to me then use them to tag along to and end up at the end of the day going home then thinking I probably just p**sed them off, despite having no real evidence, just little bits you end up remembering that were probably insignificant.

Chances are they didn't mind you tagging along at all, think about it from their POV, would you mind someone you knew who didn't really know anyone hanging around with you for the day? I certainly wouldn't though I would think the same as you in that situation.

Have you tried cognetive behavioural therapy at all?
 

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