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Extreme Shame From a Mistake



Nov 20, 2021
I am really struggling with shame. My boss confronted me on saying to my coworker who outranks me, “you’re not the boss of me”, and when he said something back I replied, “I’m on my way out anyways, so what does it matter?” I do not remember saying this at all and this is not the way I feel, so I denied it. My boss said we would hold a meeting then and he asked my other coworkers if I had said it and they said yes. In the meeting, I got a written documentation for dishonesty, saying that I lied to my boss about my disrespectful remarks to my coworker. Now, not only at I seen as full of attitude and uncooperative, I’m also seen by my boss as a liar when I don’t remember any of this happening. I’m also scared I’m going crazy because how could I say something like that and not even know about it? What if everyone else thinks I’m crazy? I tried explaining it to my boss, but I don’t think he believes it because he wrote me up anyways. I’m trying to get a job in law enforcement now that I’ve graduated and they’re going to be calling him during the background check. So I’m worried. I’m also really ashamed that I said those things to my coworker right in front of everyone. This is the first time anything like this has happened and I’m so stressed about it that it’s affecting my moods all day and at night. I don’t even want to show my face around work.


Well-known member
Aug 14, 2018
Contact your boss and ask him if you could talk something through with him before you make a medical appointment about the incident at work. If he is willing to listen, say you would like his advice about a plan to put things right with everyone at work and have the info you will need before talking with your doctor,

Plan (something along these lines - you probably know what is possible) - You apologise to your boss and to everyone you feel you need to because you feel they cannot all have got things wrong. You tell your boss/colleagues you still have no recollection of the incident, so would be grateful for any details so you can have a full picture of what happened as you feel you need to follow this up with your doctor.

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