Extreme feelings of being left out

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protsiel7

New member
Joined
Feb 22, 2019
Messages
1
Location
Poland
#1
Hi,
I honestly have no idea what to do with it. A little overview - a couple months ago I finally visited a psychiatrist and since then I've been prescribed antidepressants and antipsychotics. I've never got a diagnosis about what it is exactly that's wrong with me.
I have got to admit - my life on antidepressants is a lot better than it used to be, and I can tell it was one of the best decisions of my life so far. But one thing really stayed the same if not got uglier - extreme feelings of being left out or unliked, and based or none actual evidence that would support it. It's like, I am out with my friends and I am having a really great time, and suddenly i get a feeling that I am somebody who is not important to them, who is being left out of things, and I mean an extreme feeling. And I can't even talk to them about it, because not only they would laugh me out, but what can I say? 'My brain said you didn't like me' and argue with them over it? I know this is just an irrational feeling, but it still feels just as real. It always ends in me wanting to kill myself and drinking heavily until i sleep or pass out, because I just want to stop feeling all those overwhelming emotions. And a few days after, we go out again and I see that none of those things I thought are real, all of them were just in my head, and the worst part is I can't tell them about it because it would be extremely annoying for them. So here I am, one week the happiest men on Earth with great friends and the next week, almost crying and drinking heavily because my mind is making up scenarios in which they hate me. And again, and again. And the worst part is when I go to my psychiatrist, all of this seems to vanish and I can't clearly tell them what is it I am complaining about. And it goes on and on. Anyone here with a similar problem or maybe knows how to cope with that?
 
M

megirl

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 9, 2010
Messages
4,904
Location
NZ
#2
Hi and welcome,
Its great you've joined us,people who know what its like to have a mental illness.
I'm pleased the meds are helping.
I have found that,see my pdoc then come away feeling like damn it because I havnt told her how bad things really are.
What I find useful is keeping a journal or just a piece of paper and write down your feelings etc. Then when you see the doctor next you have what you want to talk about with you.
Its horrible how depression can make us think those dark thoughts, they do go away, and things will get better

You will get support her.
Take care
 
4EVRHSP

4EVRHSP

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 11, 2019
Messages
48
Location
...
#3
Hi,
I honestly have no idea what to do with it. A little overview - a couple months ago I finally visited a psychiatrist and since then I've been prescribed antidepressants and antipsychotics. I've never got a diagnosis about what it is exactly that's wrong with me.
I have got to admit - my life on antidepressants is a lot better than it used to be, and I can tell it was one of the best decisions of my life so far. But one thing really stayed the same if not got uglier - extreme feelings of being left out or unliked, and based or none actual evidence that would support it. It's like, I am out with my friends and I am having a really great time, and suddenly i get a feeling that I am somebody who is not important to them, who is being left out of things, and I mean an extreme feeling. And I can't even talk to them about it, because not only they would laugh me out, but what can I say? 'My brain said you didn't like me' and argue with them over it? I know this is just an irrational feeling, but it still feels just as real. It always ends in me wanting to kill myself and drinking heavily until i sleep or pass out, because I just want to stop feeling all those overwhelming emotions. And a few days after, we go out again and I see that none of those things I thought are real, all of them were just in my head, and the worst part is I can't tell them about it because it would be extremely annoying for them. So here I am, one week the happiest men on Earth with great friends and the next week, almost crying and drinking heavily because my mind is making up scenarios in which they hate me. And again, and again. And the worst part is when I go to my psychiatrist, all of this seems to vanish and I can't clearly tell them what is it I am complaining about. And it goes on and on. Anyone here with a similar problem or maybe knows how to cope with that?
When i read your post it literally bought me back to when I was a teenager and I would have the EXACT same experience as you. Having paranoid feelings that people were laughing at you, talking about you or generally disliking you behind your back. I had this a lot and eerily, i feel like because my feelings were so strong that situations where nothing was going on became real and actualised - like a self fulfilling prophecy.

I also totally related to you saying that when you go to your doctor, you forget what you wanted to say and just sit there not knowing what you were angry about in the first place! That happens to me a lot and i've realised that i need to start writing things down because the mind plays tricks on you all the time. Better to get it down in writing.

All i can say is that depression and low moods are demons which really burrow deep inside to the point of destruction. As i'm sure you know, we aren't just talking about 'bad days'. It's good to hear the meds are helping. Keep talking to your doctor and realise that this darkness will end soon.
 
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Namz

Member
Joined
Mar 5, 2019
Messages
10
Location
Durban
#4
Hey

I only got to read this post today, I feel the same way, I dont feel important to anyone like if I die today no one would give a shit, at times I wish I wasn't born, I didnt see a doc n I'm not on meds, I just live day by day, I understand my life is falling apart, I don't have real happiness I'm not happy with anything in my life and I tired to change it but it never works out... That's just my 2cents on how I cope, I know it's not useful but I hope u realize that u not alone, I have amazing friends but they have their own lives and problems that's why I stay to myself