Extreme Depression. Feel I have no purpose or life

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Raiiboii

New member
Joined
Feb 18, 2019
Messages
2
Location
South East UK
#1
Hi all
My name is Ryan, I'm 25 and from the South East UK.

I have struggled with depression and anxiety for a number of years but right now it is just too much for me to cope. I have been sat in tears for the last hour with no idea how to feel even the slightest bit better, which brings me here.
I'm on medication for anxiety and depression. Venlafaxine 150MG.

I am unemployed and have been out of work for years, this was due to me not being able to leave the house due to panic attacks. That side of things has become better but the depression is worse than ever.
I lost my mum 4 years ago to drugs and that is when things began getting worse as we had a strange relationship.
I also lost my dad when I was 3 years old due to the same.

Right now I am just not coping and it is not just solely due to the above at all. I have one close friend, no other friends. With my Nan who is great to me but also have no job or anything it feels like. I rarely see my close friend as he has a successful career and most of my time I am indoors and feel so down I can't motivate myself to do anything.
I feel like a failure and like I have no reason to wake up in the morning. I've also been using alcohol for a long time to self medicate and that is getting extremely bad too.

I know I should call the GP and arrange counselling but right now I don't see how talking will help. As my best friend has listened many times and suggests I get out. Do things. Find new friends. BUT
I don't know where to start. I know I cannot maintain keeping a job currently at all. I have no idea where to find new friends, things to do, a purpose. Right now I just feel like I need to start somewhere but I have no idea.

I'm sorry for the long post but I just needed to vent somewhere and get it all out of my mind and who knows? Maybe even find some help here.
Thanks for reading.
 
Urban Hermit

Urban Hermit

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Jan 18, 2019
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1,747
#2
Hi Ryan :welcome: to the forum, I'm sorry to hear that you are having some issues. It's a real shame about both of your parents X
I hope your find the strength to go back to the doctors x
 
sunset547544

sunset547544

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Feb 27, 2016
Messages
644
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UK, London
#3
I am not great at these replies trying to help others, but I wanted to respond to your post because you sound like someone who deserves lots of help. What you have been through with your parents sounds devastating. Please stay around in this forum because there are some really kind people here who will give you support and good advice.
 
S

steve1953

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Feb 5, 2019
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Location
Macclesfield
#4
Hi Ryan , I can relate to the alcohol and panic attacks, personally... I'm 65 and fit now Ive got back on the bike. Drinking, I was on rum so bad my wife had to fetch my 40 yr old kids to help control the drink to 'so much each night', then one night a year later I decided to tip the last bit of rum down the sink and just have a beer instead, you just have to make your mind up and say ok enough - personally ive felt so much stronger since.

No one will judge you here Ryan you are among friends.

Panic attacks, mine lasted 3 years and started when about to drive over Barton Bridge on the motorway and nearly fainted as about to go over, decision was pull over or drive over, I drove over then came the panic attacks, as in a tight stomach and heart racing.

In my opinion there is NO quick fix for panic attacks like I did with the drinking, its small steps - knowing what I know now I would research 'power of the mind' - I think I would also draw on a massive sheet of paper a diagram of the outside of the front of house, garden and nearby road/s stick it on the wall with 20 circles numbered 1-20 and set myself a challenge for each day I was up for it to go to a random numbered position and back.

Steve.
 
Valka

Valka

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Feb 12, 2019
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257
Location
England (NW)
#5
Hi Ryan, welcome to the forum. There are people here who can relate to what you're going through and want to help. :hug:
 
H

HDWorlde

New member
Joined
Feb 18, 2019
Messages
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Location
Loughborough
#6
Hi Ryan,

I’m sorry you are having a bad day. I’m feeling the same today. Rubbish isn’t it.

X
 
D

dewey

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 16, 2019
Messages
402
#7
I'm sorry you're feeling so low within yourself, but know that you really don't deserve it. Nobody deserves to feel that way. You deserve to be content and kind to yourself and I believe you will get out of this dark phase some how.

People will be here for you on this forum. We care.

Please post again as we are looking forward to hearing from you and how you are doing.

Take care.
 
R

Raiiboii

New member
Joined
Feb 18, 2019
Messages
2
Location
South East UK
#8
Thank you for all the nice replies. I’m having a slightly better day today and don’t feel quite as bad as yesterday.
However having said that I am just trying to find something to do today to amuse myself as can already feel that dark cloud looming over me.
I will likely go for a walk to clear my head later and try to avoid alcohol as my brain is already telling me that could make me feel better - it won’t and I know that. So going to try and have a more “normal” day.
 
S

steve1953

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Feb 5, 2019
Messages
104
Location
Macclesfield
#9
Well done Ryan, walk near trees and nature where there is lots of positive energy... that alcohol we discussed does cause a lot of brain fog and so many other function problems. Find new hobbies and new challenges, good luck keep posting and stay positive - when rising in the morning say to yourself 'today is going to be a better day'. the positive energy stuff really works, power of the mind makes you stronger, steady though one step at a time, and 'compliment yourself' when you achieve something, positive energy to your system.
 

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