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Extreme anxiety of talking about myself - need urgent help

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sport541

Member
Joined
May 1, 2019
Messages
15
Location
Canada
I am 27 and i am extremely sensitive to peoples opinions of myself and my family. If i know someone would think negatively of me by me sharing a fact about myselfni would not share it or i would lie about. Just so i could fit in. Over the years i have not shared a lot about myself with some people and its making me really anxious and guilty. Now i want to start talking about myself but i am scared to death people will be mad at me.
Below are aome examples of things i did not mention with some people i have known for years -i have a sister who was living in USA -I have an oldest brother also living in usa who is a PHD -That i was part of a fraternity in unoversity -that my parents own a business -that i have been to europe and asia -that i used to play tennis tournaments -that i used to be a camp counsellor
Now i am scared to death that if people find se thinga about me they will be mad, upset or surprised qt me for me not telling it before. I am really anxious of standing out and of people judging me as rich
I was kind of bullied qute a bit growing up. People would mock me when i spoke and would say "i didnt know you could talk". People would make fun of my accent also. I am from south america but moved to canada when i was 11. I have always been really shy for as long i could remember. I was also voted most akward counselor by the other staff at the summer camp i worked at. One day there was visitors day and one of the other counselors told me his mom thought i had some mental problems. All these things really lowered my self esteem. At work one time i was called sketchy and secretive and one girl always points out how red i get.
Now i dont have any self esteem and really scared and nervous about everything. I want to be myself biut i am scared to death people will be mad at me for me never having shared i had a sister or that i have been to asia last year.
Really need some good advice. I tried taking improv lessons and while things got better a little when i was doing the lessons, things went back to normal soon after. I tried a therapist but didnt work out as i was too ashamed of telling him all this. I am starting a new therapist nezt week which i will give a try.
Really need some advice i am going crazy
 
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linus

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 27, 2019
Messages
605
Location
Eastern Europe
Social anxiety is common in migrants. To get some real help you should get involved in a therapy, with a psychologist. Get a grip and drop any “shields” when you do talk therapy.
 
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linus

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 27, 2019
Messages
605
Location
Eastern Europe
Btw, I don’t see anything shameful in what you are saying. I imagined at first that you did some weird stuff that you are ashamed of..
 
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sport541

Member
Joined
May 1, 2019
Messages
15
Location
Canada
I am ashamed that i never told these things to people i have known for ywars

Now i am scared they will be mad if i telp them
 
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linus

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 27, 2019
Messages
605
Location
Eastern Europe
They won’t be mad, this is just you imagining the worst: definition of anxiety. You could cut down your misery faster if you actually talk to them..
 
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SocialGuy

New member
Joined
May 4, 2019
Messages
3
Location
United States
Hello my friend. It's good that you made a post talking about your feelings, I know that can be scary. It's okay that you're shy and awkward, everyone is a little different in their own way.

Some advice I can offer you is to talk to a psychologist. Social anxiety is a treatable illness so you don't have to live like this forever.
 
embleton

embleton

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 13, 2018
Messages
293
Location
Plymouth
Hello my friend. It's good that you made a post talking about your feelings, I know that can be scary. It's okay that you're shy and awkward, everyone is a little different in their own way.

Some advice I can offer you is to talk to a psychologist. Social anxiety is a treatable illness so you don't have to live like this forever.

Which treatment are you talking about antidepressants, benzodiazepines, talking therapy or courses for anxiety? Personally, my experience is with all these and none have been 100% effective into the future by a long way, so, any tips would be nice?
 
embleton

embleton

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 13, 2018
Messages
293
Location
Plymouth
Any other help?
Medication is another choice; venlafaxine (antidepressant) I've heard useful for severe anxiety from friends. Diazepam is useful but only effective for short periods and it's addictive.
 
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sport541

Member
Joined
May 1, 2019
Messages
15
Location
Canada
Tried therapy but i am trying therapy again starting next week

Do u think people will be mad at me?

I am not interested in medication
 
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sport541

Member
Joined
May 1, 2019
Messages
15
Location
Canada
One time i told a guy from university i had siblings and he got mad for me not telling him before

He was like " i told you about my siblings "
 
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sport541

Member
Joined
May 1, 2019
Messages
15
Location
Canada
He looked a little upset....anyhow theres another guy i used to be kind of friends from 2011 to 2014 but havent seen him since although we still talk sometimes on facebook....i dont really want to be friends with him again as he alwaya has a negative energy...anyhow even him i want to sometimes share things about myself such as the fact that i have a niece now or that i went to asia last year or that my sister lives here now but i am terrified of him asking me " i didnt know you had a brother in usa", " you never said you had a sister" or "why didnt you tell me you went to "asia"

I cant sleep at night because of this
 
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claude

Guest
Sorry this is causing you so much worry.

I don't think you've done anything wrong and i don't think that many people would be mad at you, maybe a little confused but that's ok.

Why not just be honest if they ask you why you didn't't mention something before? Why not just say, you've always been shy but you're trying to be more open now.

There is nothing wrong with that and nothing for you to be ashamed of
 
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