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Extreme and intrusive paranoid thoughts?

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Rqct

New member
Joined
Jul 23, 2019
Messages
4
Location
United states
So for a long time now I’ve always had some pretty crazy thoughts and never knew why I thought them. Only recently I’ve found out about extreme paranoia being a thing. I thought these were just some crazy insane thoughts but it turns out that this is a thing. I have really bad anxiety already so I just sorta associated it with that. I believe everyone’s talking about me or everyone’s judging me and constantly watching me ,all of that kind of stuff, but these thoughts were more extreme.

I was scared that when I did something stupid or embarrassing alone that dead people were watching me and judging. Times when I had to stay home overnight by myself, I had to let out my dog and felt that if I open the door or let him out for too long that someone would come and kill us or was hiding and waiting to kill me when I opened the door. I thought at times people could read my mind when I thought of something embarrassing or what not or that certain people I really wouldn’t want to see my personal life could see through my phone camera because I was texting them at the time. I also was worried that people I was talking to had attached cameras to my clothes. Afraid that something would run out from the dark and kill me or that someone else was living in my house.

Those are just some of the craziest thoughts ive had. I’ve had a lot more but there just variations of those. My responses to these thoughts vary though. Some I’m able to somewhat play off and control but others control me. When it comes to dead people judging me thing I just try to joke around with a “sorry if your actually there” and the same thing goes with the mind reading “Sorry if you can read minds but cool that you can do that”. The ones were I’m afraid I’m going to be killed are a little more worrying though. When letting the dog out alone I typically have a knife with me during that time and am super aware and careful about my surroundings. I get the most fear and paranoia from the ‘Things coming out from the dark, and person living in my house’ especially when I’m just home by myself. I’m worried someone living in my attic. When I hear any sounds I think someone else is with me when I’m home alone. When I’m working on something at my desk, it faces away from my door. I always have to check behind me because I’m paranoid someone’s there. I get really scared to leave a place and turn on all lights. I’m checking and closing every door. I talk to myself and try to calm myself down but it doesn’t really help much. And it doesn’t help that I genuinely feel things around me either. I even think I see things in the dark and any noise makes me jump right out of my own skin.

I have a lot of controlling and intrusive thoughts about it. No matter how hard I try to shake most of these thoughts, I still have to do everything it takes to ease the anxiety. Just thought I’d share though. Really interested to hear anyone else’s experience with this or if any of my info sounds wrong or something
 
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linus

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 27, 2019
Messages
587
Location
Eastern Europe
For how long have you experiencing these symptoms? It sounds like a psychotic episode and theoretically the more you leave it untreated the worse the outcome. You should seek help from a psychiatrist that can get you started with some meds, maybe just for anxiety first. Do you sleep enough (at least 8 hours per night, each night)? maybe you'll need help with this as well. If you lived long with such symptoms and they didn't escalate or your behaviour didn't go off the limits maybe you can work without anti-psychotics and you just need to calm down with the help of some meds. The good part is that it seems you have some insight about what's happening to you so try to challenge these ideas.
 
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spacingspaces

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 13, 2018
Messages
249
I have a problem with thinking people can read my mind too and because i'm anxious of that i get these weird intrusive thoughts that make it worse. I've also had that paranoia of dead people judging me before but i've moved past that. I also suffer with anxiety and think everyone is talking about me/ looking at me.. etc. I also have a fear that people can see me through my phone camera and laptop camera. (i've covered my laptop camera with tape). I can relate to a lot of what you are saying. I think as linus said it could be a psychotic episode. I'm only diagnosed with anxiety/social anxiety but that was back when i was a teenager and i didn't open up to them about all this sort of stuff. I am working with a new team now and could possibly get diagnosed with something else in the near future. I think you should see a psychiatrist and talk about these issues to them. A lot of people experience the things you have listed so just know you are not alone!
 
R

Rqct

New member
Joined
Jul 23, 2019
Messages
4
Location
United states
For how long have you experiencing these symptoms? It sounds like a psychotic episode and theoretically the more you leave it untreated the worse the outcome. You should seek help from a psychiatrist that can get you started with some meds, maybe just for anxiety first. Do you sleep enough (at least 8 hours per night, each night)? maybe you'll need help with this as well. If you lived long with such symptoms and they didn't escalate or your behaviour didn't go off the limits maybe you can work without anti-psychotics and you just need to calm down with the help of some meds. The good part is that it seems you have some insight about what's happening to you so try to challenge these ideas.
Hi thank you so much for replying! I’m not really 100% when all of this started. I’d always have these ‘phases’ with each thing like I was talking to this person I really really liked and when I got their number I was very anxious to do anything because I thought they could see through my phone camera. But as time passed we didn’t really text and that faded. This was around May of this year. I also had another experience with this same thought when another person I did not really like that much but was coming on to me was texting me. I was really anxious about the same thing but like the other one, once we stopped talking it faded. But this was a long time ago about 2 summers ago now. It only occurs with certain people. The fear of dead people judging is more recent and for about a month in a half that’s majority of what my mind came to when I did anything embarrassing and shameful. Than the fear of someone trying to kill me happened every time my family would leave the house to go out of state for however long. Just yesterday my family was gone and all I could think about was that if I take my eyes off of that door (that led into a dark room) that something would come out and kill me. I was so afraid I was rushing and planning out plans to stop it if something came. I stayed in my room most of the day and kept the door locked. When I was at my desk I was checking because I really felt someone was behind me. As for how long this has been a thing I’d say for a while now. But it’s really picked up at more recent times they have left. Even when it comes to seeing things I’ve experienced that ever since I was very young. I would look at something when I was in bed and think that it was moving if I stared at it long enough. If I looked into a dark room I could made out shapes or thought I’d see something move. I’m not sure if any of that helped? As for the sleeping, I’m still in school and had just started recently. During the summer I found it impossible to fall asleep early and when days came for me to wake up early sleeping was physically impossible but I’ve just blamed that on a poor summer sleep schedule. When it comes to school though I typically get 6-5 hours of sleep. It really depends on the day. Thank you so much for the advice and info though!! I didn’t think about psychosis being a problem and didn’t really know much about it so I’m glad to learn more about it. I’ll take all the advice into consideration and try to figure something out. Thank you so much again!!
 
R

Rqct

New member
Joined
Jul 23, 2019
Messages
4
Location
United states
I have a problem with thinking people can read my mind too and because i'm anxious of that i get these weird intrusive thoughts that make it worse. I've also had that paranoia of dead people judging me before but i've moved past that. I also suffer with anxiety and think everyone is talking about me/ looking at me.. etc. I also have a fear that people can see me through my phone camera and laptop camera. (i've covered my laptop camera with tape). I can relate to a lot of what you are saying. I think as linus said it could be a psychotic episode. I'm only diagnosed with anxiety/social anxiety but that was back when i was a teenager and i didn't open up to them about all this sort of stuff. I am working with a new team now and could possibly get diagnosed with something else in the near future. I think you should see a psychiatrist and talk about these issues to them. A lot of people experience the things you have listed so just know you are not alone!
Thank you so much for your reply!! I feel better knowing that I’m not the only one. And also thank you for the insight and advice. I know I should get help soon and I’ll be working towards it. I wish you good luck and hope that things work out and get better for you though!! Thank you again!
 
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linus

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 27, 2019
Messages
587
Location
Eastern Europe
Don’t leave a psychotic episode untreated. My son is in high school and he is ok with the meds prescribed, he performs intellectually and he is almost ok emotionally. We hope that in 6 months we start tapering off the meds. However not having enough sleep is a bad indicator that you can deepen your psychotic symptoms, so please go to a psychatrist to help you start controlling your sleep and anxiety at minimum.
 
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