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Explaining self-harm to children

neecro

neecro

Former member
Joined
Dec 22, 2021
Messages
7
Location
Earth
I've never liked children; they talk too much, they're too needy, and they're always bored. I'm sure lots of people like this, but I truly do not. However, the thing I hate the most about children is their parents!

I'm stuck in a house with a 10-year-old miniature prick who won't shut up for a millisecond. She's always following me around, ranting about God knows what, and asking the most uncomfortable questions. Two days ago she asked me what I had on my legs/arms (I have self-harm scars), to which I replied that those are scars. Of course, that wasn't enough, this is how the conversation went:

Her: and how did you get them?
Me: I made them to myself
Her: why?
Me: Uh... I felt bad
Her: that makes no sense!
Me: I'd rather not talk about it
And yes, her father was present and didn't think of helping me out for a single second :(

And no, this is not the end of it. Even after saying I didn't want to talk about my scars, she had to bring it up again.

Her: I know you said you didn't want to talk about it, but what did you make them with?
Me: I won't tell you
Her: I just don't understand why would you do that.
Me: ...
Her: ok, one last question! Did you get stitches?
Me: no

How can a 10-year-old be so stubborn and inconsiderate? At her age, I was way more respectful of other's boundaries. And besides, I already knew what self-harm was, so I'm surprised she doesn't.

Anyway, this is not the only reason why I dislike her (and every other kid on Earth.) I have autism and loud noises, fast-paced talking, invading personal space, and other "cute" things kids do are just not only overwhelming but plain annoying to me.

Raise your children well, y'all! :thx:
 
Tawny

Tawny

Well-known member
Forum Guide
Joined
Nov 10, 2019
Messages
13,300
Location
England
Please be kind to her :( they might look big and talk lots, but they are so young and not capable of understanding these complex things very well. They easily misunderstand and worry about things we wouldn't even think they would worry about.

If she is following you around, she maybe looks up to you, admires you, so it is a complement. She trusts you.

Their understanding comes from the spot they are on rather than the abstract, so if they love dogs, you could talk about things in relation to that. You could talk about dogs who bite their own legs when they are stressed and upset perhaps. Dogs that are traumatised also self harm sometimes. As long as you then tell her how it is best to cope rather than self harming. I am sure you would be devastated if in 5 years time she started self-harming.
 
Siegfried

Siegfried

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 14, 2021
Messages
487
Location
South America.
I mean, that's actually par the course for most children that age? endless curiosity and insistence seem like fairly common traits. And to be honest a concept like self-harm, that I imagine she likely had never encountered before, can be extremely confusing even for mentally healthy adults.

Look, I get the exasperation, I'm possibly autistic myself and I can barely even tolerate the presence of others, even when they 99% just leave me alone, just having to exist within the same space and hearing their voices and general noise annoys me to no end.

But there's always a benefit to thinking things logically, how do you get this child to stop being a problem while also not being unnecessarily mean? certainly not by tossing such a likely unusual concept at her such as self harm and then refusing to elaborate, that's almost like perfect bait for increasing her curiosity.

I think it would be best to just be candid and tell her that you were born a bit different, like everyone is one way or another, and that you don't like noise, talking or answering questions so it would be really nice of her if she focused more on someone else.
 

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