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Existential crisis - I can't get out of bed due to these thoughts

S

SkittlesAreTasty

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Oct 5, 2018
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10
For the past 4-5 years I've suffered with existential crisis on and off. My doctor gave me anti-depressants which seemed to help and from yesterday I am back on the medication.

The first time it happened, I was watching a video regarding the universe and the commentator bought up about the ultimate fate of the universe. Something that day changed inside of my head. I was overwhelmed with a sense of intense dread, panic and feeling sick.

On Saturday, it happened again. I've only been outside once (to visit my doctor) and only left my bed a handful of times for the food and drink that I can manage to eat. I feel so alone... and trapped. I feel like life is some sort of sick curse that I am being forced to live in a life that I didn't ask for. I'm paralysed by the fear of death. I feel that the only time I get peace is when I'm asleep. I've been sleeping a lot to avoid these thoughts

Me and my fiancee were talking about having children but now I'm unsure. I can't bare to force another living being to face the same questions, thoughts and feelings.

The only thing that gives me hope is that anti-ageing technology is invented in my life. I see myself as agnostic but I don't know if I believe if there is anything after this life
 
calypso

calypso

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:welcome: to the forum. I don't know the answer to your problem as such. Thoughts are just that, only thoughts. Can you imagine you write them in your head onto a piece of paper, scruch it up and throw it into an imaginary fire. You keep doing this and then distract with something simple and fun. I usually give myself a piece of chocolate if the thoughts are particularly bad.

I think looking into Mindfulness might help you - is there perhaps a group near you that do it? Its worth looking into. There is a book, I don't know if you can find it on Amazon, called Emotional Hijacking by Marlene Schneider Potter which is fantastic. Its written VERY simply but goes over what is happening to you and how to overcome it. I recommend it.
 
J

JCPraha

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Aug 27, 2018
Messages
433
It's good you are back on the anti-depressants. We all must face or own mortality. I suppose it's best to not let thinking about it rob you of the present. It seems you have somewhat of a spiritual crisis. Believing in something greater than yourself and the eternal nature of your soul may help. Yes, it's probably not a good idea to have children at this point in your life, until you get your own mental state sorted out. I had 3 children, and it is a heavy load to carry, when you don't feel well yourself.
 
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