Existence freaks me out

[SilverThread]

I just cant get over how im ACTUALLY really here!? Like it feels like i should not exist. I dont understand how i do. Or how consciousness can come to be. Its scary. I also feel incredibly numb because i feel like life is meaningless and see no point to love or happiness because of it. Has anyone ever felt that love didnt matter??? i feel like a freak for feeling that way. I want to change it but sometimes i just cant see a point to anything, even love or happiness...

 

[schizolanza]

Love matters don't give up.

 

[Mary26]

It sounds like you're not in your heart. I suspect there may be too much pain to really allow yourself to go there but it has a very different quality and makes you feel alive. You may feel things you don't want to feel but you will feel and there's connection in that.

 

[Sprig]

I just cant get over how im ACTUALLY really here!? Like it feels like i should not exist. I dont understand how i do. Or how consciousness can come to be. Its scary. I also feel incredibly numb because i feel like life is meaningless and see no point to love or happiness because of it. Has anyone ever felt that love didnt matter??? i feel like a freak for feeling that way. I want to change it but sometimes i just cant see a point to anything, even love or happiness...

There are philosophical discussions on this, maybe the Existentialists. It’s a kind of pain that I feel too

 

[Parayana]

Between existence and non-existence lies the you that is not you. Sorry I think I have the stink of Zen about me again.

 

[indigo6]

This is existential thinking. Ive been there and have a tendency to go down this rabbithole. Last time I was heading for the psych ward. Like a mad professor lol. It can drive people that way. I dont think were meant to ask too many questions.
My thinking is opposite as I believe in something and am spiritual. I see it as purposeful, meaningful and incredible. I was looking for whats behind the curtain, is this you?
When you say love what kind of love?
How are you linking it to this thinking?

 

[Mary26]

Between existence and non-existence lies the you that is not you. Sorry I think I have the stink of Zen about me again.

So let me guess--The you that is not you is the ego self (the self that suffers) and the real self is the observer?