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Existence freaks me out

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SilverThread

Member
Joined
Oct 4, 2019
Messages
18
Location
USA
I just cant get over how im ACTUALLY really here!? Like it feels like i should not exist. I dont understand how i do. Or how consciousness can come to be. Its scary. I also feel incredibly numb because i feel like life is meaningless and see no point to love or happiness because of it. Has anyone ever felt that love didnt matter??? i feel like a freak for feeling that way. I want to change it but sometimes i just cant see a point to anything, even love or happiness...
 
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Mary26

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 28, 2018
Messages
185
Location
USA
It sounds like you're not in your heart. I suspect there may be too much pain to really allow yourself to go there but it has a very different quality and makes you feel alive. You may feel things you don't want to feel but you will feel and there's connection in that.
 
Sprig

Sprig

Member
Joined
Dec 25, 2018
Messages
7
I just cant get over how im ACTUALLY really here!? Like it feels like i should not exist. I dont understand how i do. Or how consciousness can come to be. Its scary. I also feel incredibly numb because i feel like life is meaningless and see no point to love or happiness because of it. Has anyone ever felt that love didnt matter??? i feel like a freak for feeling that way. I want to change it but sometimes i just cant see a point to anything, even love or happiness...
There are philosophical discussions on this, maybe the Existentialists. It’s a kind of pain that I feel too
 
Parayana

Parayana

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 22, 2012
Messages
3,042
Between existence and non-existence lies the you that is not you. Sorry I think I have the stink of Zen about me again.
 
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indigo6

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Joined
Jan 30, 2019
Messages
977
Location
UK
This is existential thinking. Ive been there and have a tendency to go down this rabbithole. Last time I was heading for the psych ward. Like a mad professor lol. It can drive people that way. I dont think were meant to ask too many questions.
My thinking is opposite as I believe in something and am spiritual. I see it as purposeful, meaningful and incredible. I was looking for whats behind the curtain, is this you?
When you say love what kind of love?
How are you linking it to this thinking?
 
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Mary26

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 28, 2018
Messages
185
Location
USA
Between existence and non-existence lies the you that is not you. Sorry I think I have the stink of Zen about me again.
So let me guess--The you that is not you is the ego self (the self that suffers) and the real self is the observer?
 
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