- Feb 7, 2021
I posted just now, but thought this might be better in its own thread. Does anyone else not have a middle ground? It’s all very well being told and the internet saying that is what I should be aiming for, but I have no experience of trying to find it. When I feel low, and it is always a hideous type of low, I do all I can to stop feeling that way. Which leads me to high. It is such a relief, I don’t question the contrast, am just grateful. Then it is a comfortable feeling that I have friends and sparkle, I enjoy doing things, I can do what I set my mind to and my Life is actually going to be ok. There is nothing in between before I am on my knees sobbing and doing all I can to remind myself I have kids, responsibilities and absolutely shouldn’t do anything to harm myself today because the thoughts to make everything stop are so strong. I am feeling like that now, can tell myself it won’t last forever, but I am not able to, have never got in to a middle, normal in between state after feeling like this. I go from terrible, to, oh hey - awesome! From awesome back to terrible.