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Exceptionally rapid mood changes.

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CabbageMama

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I posted just now, but thought this might be better in its own thread. Does anyone else not have a middle ground? It’s all very well being told and the internet saying that is what I should be aiming for, but I have no experience of trying to find it. When I feel low, and it is always a hideous type of low, I do all I can to stop feeling that way. Which leads me to high. It is such a relief, I don’t question the contrast, am just grateful. Then it is a comfortable feeling that I have friends and sparkle, I enjoy doing things, I can do what I set my mind to and my Life is actually going to be ok. There is nothing in between before I am on my knees sobbing and doing all I can to remind myself I have kids, responsibilities and absolutely shouldn’t do anything to harm myself today because the thoughts to make everything stop are so strong. I am feeling like that now, can tell myself it won’t last forever, but I am not able to, have never got in to a middle, normal in between state after feeling like this. I go from terrible, to, oh hey - awesome! From awesome back to terrible.
 
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lifecangetbetter

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yeah i understand how you feel. i RAPIDLY change my mind and mood all the time. ive been told im extreme. hang in there. some days are worse than others
 
soul searching

soul searching

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That happened to me once, really weird. i was in a terrible mood and then a great mood and it changed in like a split second. My diagnosis is schizoaffective depressive type.
 
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lifecangetbetter

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its intense that our mind can change our perspective sooooo much. the mind is fascinating
 
C

CabbageMama

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yeah i understand how you feel. i RAPIDLY change my mind and mood all the time. ive been told im extreme. hang in there. some days are worse than others
So, extreme is a new one for me. But I have my Psych appt next week - anything could happen! 😂

From what I have read, since they started talking about bipolar spectrum, I realise I am extreme too. Not a lot of point being resistant to the inevitable. That whole middle ground thing is what scares the shit of of me. I never knew there was anything wrong with me, have lived with the highs and lows, assuming that was just me and not thinking too much about it. I cannot remember any significant period ever when I have been in a ‘safe’ zone.
 
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lifecangetbetter

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I'm glad you have an appointment. meds can help alot. i seriously used to cry EVERY day multiple times. now i don't cry at all

we are allllllllll mentally ill to some extent. not all all our thoughts are 100% accurate, and not all of them are 100% wrong



I'm curious, do you change your mind often?
 
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CabbageMama

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Probably about a million times a day...
 
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2Much2Feel

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Completely. Diagnosed as rapid cycle bipolar II and borderline. Do you go through a lot of rage?
 
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SFGuy

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Before my meds got sorted, I had a daily mood cycle (hypomanic around 2:00 in the afternoon) and mixed states (I'm a genius! No, you're a failure.) that could overlap or vacillate within the same minute. I also had severe clinical depressions every few years, though no hospitalizations. Depakote is the mood stabilizer that works for me (we tried several) and I haven't been afflicted by its worst side effects. It rapidly reduced both ultradian cycling and mixed states, which had become my default way of being. Still, no euthymia for me, but my med cocktail makes me more stable, agreeable, and less tortured.
 
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2Much2Feel

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That's awesome to hear, SF. :) My shrink has tried to get me on depakote, but I've been too afraid. It's so hard to be open to something after so many tries and failures, but I guess that's what we have to do. I can relate to those swings, although I never (unfortunately I feel like sometimes...) get the high highs. Just sometimes I come up for air.
 
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CabbageMama

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I just googled Depakote. Another thing to think about, but am trying to be as together and informed for my Psych appt as possible, so thank you. I have been very high in bursts since stopping the Lamotrigine, and honestly, it has felt really good after so long feeling horribly low all the time on that medication. After the unfortunate manic six days directly after it stopping and the rubbish couple of days bad crash following that, the ratio has been about 80% high mood. Without going scarily out of hand high and I have had some lovely times. The lows have been much shorter, and possibly as part of being exhausted from having so much fun, ironically!
 
Wishbone

Wishbone

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I think you just need to get the hell away from any type of antidepressant (sensibly of course) and you'll soon feel better. Once that's done then something to keep you stable, whichever that may be.
 
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CabbageMama

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I agree. I think taper down and stop the antidepressant. I think he will want to push the Pregabalin up to a higher dose because of the known benefits in reducing anxiety. In the absence of knowing what else I should try, I will probably agree with the Pregabalin being increased unless he has a better suggestion, I just want the antidepressant totally stopped. The Psych wrote in his notes that he has a number of Patients that use Pregabalin ‘off licence’, I think was how it was described, to stabilise moods. I read it in the letter he sent, then Googled it, and can see why he felt it was sensible. In that same letter he explained that as I had had no ill effects from the Vortioxetine, we agreed to double it to the maximum dose, but would review this at our next appt, decide whether to continue or discard. I am pretty sure this was a bit of a trial, like I think you mentioned in another post - throwing drugs at me to see how I would react, hoping it would be well. It’s weird, when they diagnosed me with Fibromyalgia about 8 years ago, I tried Pregabalin then, couldn’t tolerate the side effects. This time, none at all. Except possible weight gain, but that could have been from any of the meds.
 
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