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Ex boyfriend ruined my life



New member
Oct 4, 2020
Toronto ON
Today was hard. I found out he cheated yesterday, the girl messaged me on Instagram laughing saying that she’s been fucking him since January. I wasn’t shocked when I saw this ... but my heart dropped and all of a sudden I felt like I couldn’t breathe. I had one of the worst anxiety attacks I’ve ever had in a long time. I confronted him, he didn’t deny it and instead tried to make himself seem like the victim, saying that I never loved him or cared.
I can’t explain the pain I feel ... I’ve devoted 4 years to a man that has been basically having another relationship with another woman for 5 months now and I had no clue. He’s manipulative and a psychological liar, he’s ruined every part of me. I can’t get the image out of my head of him sleeping with her, holding her, loving her. It’s insane to me how someone can tell you they love you and then go do exactly what they told you they wouldn’t. Sometimes I wish i was never even born in this life. The pain I feel everyday is unbearable. I’m not physically here. All I do is stare and think in my head how he’s probably fucking her and loving her. I cried so hard I threw up. I absolutely hate my life. I’m 22 years old and I genuinely feel like I’ll never love anyone again. I hate my life. If your reading this, thank you for listening and I hope you are all staying safe...


Sep 28, 2020
I know how it feels like your soul has been spilt in two . It wasn't anything you did young people are very selfish ego manics sometimes that's why its not good to get into a serious relationship until your older . Your pain will go away takes time work on your relationship with yourself that is the best one. And you will attract someone to you that has positive qualities because you have those same ones like attracts like .


Oct 3, 2020
I read what you wrote and that you are in pain. I feel so sorry that the person you gave your love to did not create a relationship of thankfulness and appreciation to be by your side in life. About the pain, I want to say that you can realize that there are always people here to talk to and looking at social media or trying to further communicate with someone that cheated so hard on you might cause you to ruminate and experience even more pain. If you can find any way to disassociate from the having thoughts about the event it might help you, by this I mean find distractions in life that will let you think about something else for short bursts might be helpful.

For example, put together a puzzle, read a book, or some activity, any activity that can take you away from the experience in your mind. Although I realize that this experience is incredibly painful. I just lost a girl friend myself so I am in pain as well and I have spent a lot of days watching videos on youtube about pain.

One thing I have noticed is that pain does not have to be thought of as completely bad. Pain can be a friend and a teacher. Pain can be a doorway and a motivation for change. Also, I noticed my pain comes on in waves. For hours straight it will be so intense but there will be gaps in time when the pain is not happening as strongly. I often look forwards to those gaps in time when the pain is less strong. And I often have a hope that more of those moments will happen when the pain lessens for a few hours and I realize eventually the gaps in in time when I do not experience the pain or when I forget how intense the pain is, will increase over time until healing takes place.

I am so sorry you are experiencing this life event. I realize that what is happening is among the most difficult experiences on earth and it represents a serious betrayal. I never have cheated on a person every in my life, but I have been cheated on once in life and just know that after many many years go by, it will be something that you can have healed from.

Rex Smith

Aug 30, 2020
You're young and in your prime for dating and meeting new people. It's easy to say I love you because it's just words. Being in a serious relationship at 18 is so unheard of these days, this isn't the 1950s. Life has barely begun and there's so much to experience out in the world. With all the different personalities types to meet, it's the beginning for you and not the end.
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