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Everything's sh*t

R

Raache

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 19, 2014
Messages
146
Location
Poland
I'm tired, I hate myself, what a shitty day fuckfuckfuck
I'm so anxious I hurt myself, yesterday I cried the whole day, even went to see "If I Stay" to feel anyhow justified in crying, so I was drowning in tears because god it's so sad and so beautiful, but it got me feeling so much worse afterwards, my face was all red and swollen and I got a headache
Today is so much worse and tomorrow I have to go to work in the morning and I have no idea how to get through it, I feel like I'm about to explode and die
I'm supposed to go back to uni in October and have an exam I must pass and it's so terrifying, how am I gonna do that, I can't, I'm so useless
I just wanna curl up and maybe noone's gonna find me
And than I'll get drunk again and again and maybe it will all disappear
 
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BlueBerry

BlueBerry

Well-known member
Joined
Sep 13, 2014
Messages
1,261
Location
Edinburgh
I'm sorry to here the movie didn't make you feel better, a good cinema trip usually cheers me up and distracts me from whatever's bothering me. Well, most of the time.

All I can recommend is try to get some rest or sleep? Maybe you'll feel a teeny bit better after a little snooze. :sleepy2:

Sorry I can't be more help, hope you find something that helps!
 
Grape

Grape

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 2, 2014
Messages
1,213
Location
England
You are doing very well to go to work at all, many of us cannot manage it. I hope you manage to get through your work day and have a rest afterward. Sorry my brain is mush at the moment but i do hope you feel better soon. I know what it's like to want to drink to escape painful feelings. Big hugs to you.
 
S

SpaceTurtle

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 24, 2014
Messages
577
Raache,

I am sorry you feel like absolute and utter crap and obviously so deeply sad.

Definite depressive type symptoms of some type though I am not trying to guess your primary diagnosis.

I am also sorry for the extreme anxiety your getting, I hope you did not hurt yourself to a serious degree.

Don't think about october at the moment, but maybe you can get a sickness type certificate for work for a few days?

Besides any diagnosis, is there anything in particular bothering you that you want to talk about? Loneliness etc? Or is just the pressure of everything too much?

Please stay away from Alcohol. Trust me I have a long history of both depression and alcoholism, alcohol will make your life much worst. If you already have a drinking problem, then you need professional help with that as well.

Really hope we can help you on here get through things. Keep talking to us if you are willing.

Lots of love and best wishes,

SpadeTurtle
 
R

Raache

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 19, 2014
Messages
146
Location
Poland
Thank you guys, it seems it was just my bipolar talking.. I woke up today feeling marvelous, even though obviously nothing has changed in my life. Seriously I can't keep up with this crap sometimes :p
SpaceTurtle - I skipped a whole year at college because my social anxiety and stuff got so intense, so no backing out this time.. Even if I wanted to. And I got really lazy cause of that break ;p
I can't stay away from alcohol, it just so damn strong. I had a one year of abstinence and thought I wasn't going back to drinking again, but this year it started over, probably because of all that stress and depression, and I can't imagine quitting drinking for now. My father is an alcoholic and I hate him for it, but I guess I'm just the same..
 
C

cookiegirl

Well-known member
Joined
Sep 6, 2014
Messages
170
Thank you guys, it seems it was just my bipolar talking.. I woke up today feeling marvelous, even though obviously nothing has changed in my life. Seriously I can't keep up with this crap sometimes :p
SpaceTurtle - I skipped a whole year at college because my social anxiety and stuff got so intense, so no backing out this time.. Even if I wanted to. And I got really lazy cause of that break ;p
I can't stay away from alcohol, it just so damn strong. I had a one year of abstinence and thought I wasn't going back to drinking again, but this year it started over, probably because of all that stress and depression, and I can't imagine quitting drinking for now. My father is an alcoholic and I hate him for it, but I guess I'm just the same..
A tool for you could be AA. I do recommend it.

I used to live with an alcoholic and went to some of these meetings and was very impressed. The resource is just amazing, imo. What I like about it is that for one thing, you can go to a meeting at the very time you're feeling down, like yesterday. Plus you have a sponsor you can speak to on the phone. Lastly, they have 12 steps which rehabilitates your life. It's a good path.
 
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