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Everything's Going Wrong...

L

LayLay95

Member
Joined
Jul 14, 2021
Messages
15
Location
Edmonton
Is anyone else feeling that anything they touch or do is just going the wrong way? No matter how much we try for something better?
It's starting to get to me, and I really want it to get better...:low:
 
Tawny

Tawny

Well-known member
Staff member
Forum Guide
Joined
Nov 10, 2019
Messages
13,542
Location
England
Good evening Laylay95, You are in Canada? so not evening for you :)

Sometimes i feel that way too, but it is usually a sign to me that i am trying to do too much. It sounds like you need to rest, take a break and think about what needs to be done. Careful planning usually brings more chance of things going well.

Are you depressed?
What has gone wrong? You have generalised 'anything you touch'.
 
L

LayLay95

Member
Joined
Jul 14, 2021
Messages
15
Location
Edmonton
Good evening Laylay95, You are in Canada? so not evening for you :)

Sometimes i feel that way too, but it is usually a sign to me that i am trying to do too much. It sounds like you need to rest, take a break and think about what needs to be done. Careful planning usually brings more chance of things going well.

Are you depressed?
What has gone wrong? You have generalised 'anything you touch'.
Yes it's mid-afternoon here.

I am in an HR internship and I'm the team lead...and issue after issue has been happening and I can't wrap my head around it. I've always developed this fear of things going wrong...and you're possibly right. I might be doing too much tbh. I have school, this internship, my home life, my relationships, everything feels so crappy sometimes.

I have been in and out of depression for awhile now. My culture thinks of mental health as taboo, so I have never been able to get clinical help or even a proper diagnoses. But I know my mental health has been declining steadily lately, almost like a roller coaster. Just everything feels like it's going south. Just any situation really, and I feel helpless most times.

Idk if I'm making much sense.
 
P

Pollypop

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 23, 2015
Messages
2,313
Location
England. Derbyshire
Is anyone else feeling that anything they touch or do is just going the wrong way? No matter how much we try for something better?
It's starting to get to me, and I really want it to get better...:low:
I feel exactly like this.
I couldn’t have worded it better myself.
 
L

L17

New member
Joined
Jul 15, 2021
Messages
2
Location
USA
Hello all,

I feel your pain and have been feeling the same for as long as I can remember. I don't know how to reach out without feeling sorry for myself - but perhaps if that's the way it comes across, I guess it is, but how else to we earnestly tell people what's going on in our lives? I could sugar coat, yes....but why? This is what my life has become. I have a doctor appointment on Friday, and am afraid of telling her what I REALLY think, in fear that she'll call the police on me again for suicide watch. Actually, that was when things were "good".

I am probably on the wrong site for this, but after this week, I am convinced that the Gods hate me. I am a cancer patient, alone, and two days ago find out that my beloved cat is terminal. So, I have no one, but my cat who slept by me throughout my own treatment, now he will be gone. People say go to church, but I usually find stuck up back stabbing women there, though I have been a Christian all my life, right now I cannot bear to be judged for the dark thoughts I am having about 'what's next'. The emptiness has been unbearable, first going through cancer, then my mother dying last year, (it was 2020, after all...) and having to go on disability due to illness, losing my business, no lover or friends who have time, now....my beloved cat will be leaving me soon. Do I continue to muddle through this life that has proven to be nothing but a cesspool of emotional pain? Or??? I think I am ready for the ??? but scared of what's on the other side.

For LayLay, what is it that got you to continue through the day? How about you, Pollypop? Tawny, I admire your strength...but it just ain't happening here....

Thanks ladies. Enjoy your evening.
 
P

Pollypop

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 23, 2015
Messages
2,313
Location
England. Derbyshire
Hello L17,

You are definitely not on the wrong site.
Anything but.

People here understand what we are each going through.
Everyones story is different but there are always the symptoms that
are recognisable.

You are having a really tough time and what you are going through
is so sad.
I‘m so sorry about all your struggles, and especially your beloved cat.
I know exactly how this feels.

I understand your thoughts about a way out.
But please don’t do anything to yourself.
See how you go on with your doctor. I can’t really advise you on
how much to say.
I used to think telling “professionals“ everything, was the only way
to get the help we need.
Like you, I fell foul of this idea with a psychiatrist.

I hope your appointment goes well.
Please keep talking to us here.
 
L

L17

New member
Joined
Jul 15, 2021
Messages
2
Location
USA
Thanks Pollypop...I see you are in England - that must be fun.

Your words are great, as if not to jump the gun and do anything stupid or that I'll regret. Last night I read a great article on suicide that was a game changer. In a nutshell it said: "Suicide is a gamble, you don't know what is beyond, don't know if it's great and you just stay wherever. . . or if your mind consciously knows that you screwed up and should have just been patient." So, indeed there is no going back. I just have to stick this out and die naturally; but I can refuse more cancer treatment to get this over with.
 
L

LayLay95

Member
Joined
Jul 14, 2021
Messages
15
Location
Edmonton
Hello all,

I feel your pain and have been feeling the same for as long as I can remember. I don't know how to reach out without feeling sorry for myself - but perhaps if that's the way it comes across, I guess it is, but how else to we earnestly tell people what's going on in our lives? I could sugar coat, yes....but why? This is what my life has become. I have a doctor appointment on Friday, and am afraid of telling her what I REALLY think, in fear that she'll call the police on me again for suicide watch. Actually, that was when things were "good".

I am probably on the wrong site for this, but after this week, I am convinced that the Gods hate me. I am a cancer patient, alone, and two days ago find out that my beloved cat is terminal. So, I have no one, but my cat who slept by me throughout my own treatment, now he will be gone. People say go to church, but I usually find stuck up back stabbing women there, though I have been a Christian all my life, right now I cannot bear to be judged for the dark thoughts I am having about 'what's next'. The emptiness has been unbearable, first going through cancer, then my mother dying last year, (it was 2020, after all...) and having to go on disability due to illness, losing my business, no lover or friends who have time, now....my beloved cat will be leaving me soon. Do I continue to muddle through this life that has proven to be nothing but a cesspool of emotional pain? Or??? I think I am ready for the ??? but scared of what's on the other side.

For LayLay, what is it that got you to continue through the day? How about you, Pollypop? Tawny, I admire your strength...but it just ain't happening here....

Thanks ladies. Enjoy your evening.
Sometimes I guess I have to remember that all things happen for a reason...even when it doesn't turn out that way. Lately, it's sucked a lot...but I guess I'm holding out hope because I feel I'm pretty much a goner if I lose that too.
 
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