Everythings getting me down

[Han-123]

I'm 19 years old, I have two children who I love to bits but I can't stop the feeling that life is just horrible. My mum died when I was young which was just the start of a string of bad events. Every little thing gets me down and I have phases where it can be something quite relevant such as struggling for money but other times it will be something stupid which triggers it, the most bizzare yet being depressed over the world ending!! I have a boyfriend who is very supportive but I'm wondering when the support will stop and he will abandon me for someone more 'normal' without all the baggage! I've been to the doctors several times with no luck I have been promised counseling a numerous amount of times with nothing followed up and been given medication that only worsened my situation. I am trying to be persistent and think positively but I really am giving up faith. There are so many times i've thought about ending it all but I just couldn't do that to my children. I just want to hear from people who feel the same as me. I can't deal with this feeling that I am insane and the only one who feels like this much longer. Thanks

 

[Leon]

Hi Han-123,
I'm new to the forum also, and think it's good to be in touch with people who in some way know what we're going through.
for what it's worth, over the years, I have been through, really scary 'thinking I'm insane' episodes, but got through them, and hopefully learned something on the way.
I found that my journey was less scary when I found other 'sane' people who had been through similar or worse.
Hope this helps in some way

 

[nina]

Hello u.

I know excatly how you feel. I am new to this forum too.

I am 39 now have had several ups and downs through my life as you are experiencing now.
I left home when I was 16 my mother is schitzophenic. I had my son at 17 and three broken relationships by the time I was 30.

My son is all grown up at university now and I still suffer with depression.
I can only speak from my own experience but what I learnt about my self is I never got it together because of family issues. A mother is a massive part of your life and I know my issues were due to the fact I never had the love and support from a mother especially as your a mum yourself it must be tough not having her there for you.

Just remember you and your kids are a unit now that will never change boyfriends come and go tough as it is to go through. Take whatever help is available if your not sure make an appointment at your local cab. I am sending you and your kids a big hug. I would be straight with your doctor if you think this is connected to anything in your child hood the sooner you front it its a step in the right direction.