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Everything is falling apart

D

devonm131

Member
Joined
Jul 27, 2009
Messages
10
Location
Episkopi, Cyprus.
It now feels everything is coming to an end.

About 3/4 years ago I self harmed and was depressed. I was 13/14 years old and I was never happy. I never seeked attention and hid it from everybody. It seems, now 17, that it's all come back to me as I didn't deal with it then. I've always been a quite conceiled person, but not like this. I have became anti-social and am drifting away from my family.

Quite recently my girlfriend moved back to the UK. I know I'm only 17 so some may disagree with what I say, but I know it's love. I'm only going to be seeing her for about 2 weeks every two months, so knowing things are going to be hard has all of a sudden dropped on me. It's been 4 weeks. I've spoken to her everyday, but it's not the same. In times of trouble I have noone to be with. 2 nights ago was the worst. My thoughts were to go into the kitchen and drink a bottle of bleach, or jump out of my bedroom window. I have no friends so I have nobody to talk to. I was saved by a phone call.

I really don't know what my next step is. I've just had an arguement with somebody who I treasure dearly and now feel as if everything is going to end.

My biggest issue is finding the right help. I don't want to go to my local medical centre as my mother works there and I know all of the staff. It would be awkward.

If anyone can help I'd much appreciate it.

Thank you
xx

I'm sorry if this is in the wrong place/a waste of time.
 
schiz01

schiz01

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 16, 2009
Messages
721
Location
Australia
Hi devonm
I sympathize with your situation and urge you to seek professional help,having someone to talk your problems over with can be a life saver.
You said your mum works at a medical center...maybe she already knows of a good psychologist....would it be possible for you to talk to her about it with out going into detail.Seeing a psychologist is totally confidential and people go to see them for all manner of reasons....its nothing to be ashamed about.Your mum might even be relieved that you are getting some help.
 
ms_P

ms_P

Well-known member
Founding Member
Joined
Jul 21, 2008
Messages
3,067
Location
BeNeLux
Hi Devon,
A cry for help is never a waste of time!
I'm not sure you can see a psychologist without a referal from your GP. That's always a good first step. I hope you can do that for yourself. :flowers:
Take care.
 
N

Nutter_09

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 11, 2009
Messages
136
Location
Middlesex
Hi,
Its always good to post here when you feel bad. I know its hard to talk to others and seek help - i often think people will take it as attention seeking.
How is your relationship with your family? Your mum may surprise you if you let her know how you feel. What about your girlfriend? Does she know how you are feeling?
 
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devonm131

Member
Joined
Jul 27, 2009
Messages
10
Location
Episkopi, Cyprus.
I don't have a psychiatrist and I wouldn't know what to say if one was there. Is it poosible to be listed as "unfit to fly" depending on mental state? Because that would just make things worse.
My family relationships aren't the best. My parents care, but I, and as bad as it may seem, don't feel much love for them. It's hard because they've done so much for me, but I can't tell them anything. My girlfriend however, knows everything. I've told her about how I've been feeling.

I don't mean to make these posts sound attention seeking for those that feel that they may be.

Thanks guys.

xx
 
Wynn

Wynn

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 20, 2008
Messages
63
I don't know how things are set up in Cyprus, but over here it is possible to go to see a counsellor without a referral from a GP, although it costs something (about £30 a session). Also, is there anything like 'the samaritans' in Cyprus? They have been a lifeline for me at times when I have felt that I didn't have anyone to turn to - they also do email consultations which would probably work from Cyprus. (samaritans.org)

The other thought I had was could you persuade your parents that you need a holiday to the UK to see your girlfriend, as she is someone you can talk to? You wouldn't have to tell your parents the reason for going, unless you wanted to.

Don't worry about not getting on with your family - none of us ever get to choose them, and at 17 you will soon be able to be setting up your own life, where-ever and with who-ever you do choose - sometimes our friends become a closer 'family' than our families ever were. Don't give up hope - there is so much life and love out there for you.
 
D

devonm131

Member
Joined
Jul 27, 2009
Messages
10
Location
Episkopi, Cyprus.
Thanks, Wynn.
My dad is in the military so we have basically the same facilities here as our med. centres etc are run by the MOD.
I'm going to visit my girlfriend in 11/12 days so that will make things easier. I'm also hoping to move in with her come the end of october so she can help me when I'm down as she knows how to deal with it.
I don't know if you saw, but I asked if I saw a counciller, psychiatrist etc I could be classed as "unfit to fly" if anything major was said.

Thanks again people

xx
 
schiz01

schiz01

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 16, 2009
Messages
721
Location
Australia
Hi again devonm
There is no way you would classed unfit to fly or for there to be any other negative implications.(lots and lots of people feel like you do and its no crime.).
I would suggest copying your original post and taking it with you to the Psychologist/councilor.They deal with these sort of things every day and are trained in helping you recognize and address the underlying issues that are making you feel this way.
Dont trivialize the way you feel either ...everything you said in your post are real and important issues that need to be sorted out so they dont come back to haunt you later on.
best of luck with it and i hope you make it through this difficult time and go onto living a happy and healthy life.We only get one chance in life and you cant go back if you mess it up
good luck
 
Last edited:
Wynn

Wynn

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 20, 2008
Messages
63
Hi again Devonm - That's great that you're going to see your girlfriend soon!

Schiz is right, no-one will declare you unfit to fly. A councillor will just want to talk, and will give you the chance to talk, and be listened to by someone who is not judgemental. I know going to see some one can seem scary, but its a really important step in a positive direction. It will give you ideas of what you could try for yourself, and also maybe ideas you can pass on to your girlfriend, on how best she can help you too - its a good idea to have as big a support net as you possibly can, rather than just relying on one other person. Counsellors are good for that, and so are all the people on here too! Keep posting. Take good care of yourself.

:hug:
 
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