• Welcome! It’s great to see you. Our forum members are people, maybe like yourself, who experience mental health difficulties or who have had them at some point in their life.

    If you'd like to talk with people who know what it's like

Everything goes so fast....... In the fall and winter :p

Chameleon

Chameleon

New member
Joined
Mar 28, 2019
Messages
4
Location
USA
For years growing up, I never could figure out why I always felt so bad when the snow melted away and everything started to bloom. I never could put a finger on it, everyone else was always so excited. And because of that, I just never mentioned it. My father was a pastor of a church and I knew if I spoke to him he would just say it was the devil and I needed to pray about it, which was always his answer to everything I asked.

But, as an adult knocking on 50, I still feel the same way. I start a countdown on the first day of spring that goes until the official first day of fall. Now, I know many will say 'It's still hot' and all that, but when I see those leaves start turning, a mental and physical transformation happens. It seems like most of the depression starts to fade and because of that, I believe that things in my physical body get better. Not like healed of something, but more like, the massive headaches go away, I feel like I can breathe again and last but not least, I go out and get on the porch swing and just soak in that amazing fall smell.

A few years back, 4 to be exact, I had a series of heart attacks that ended with a quadruple bypass. This was bad enough, but after the surgery, when I would go out in the summer, physically I felt even worse. May have been because my surgery was now freaking my mind out.

To top everything off.... About 4 months ago, I started having seizures, at least 2 a night, I haven't missed a night since the first one. Well this very Monday after many MRIs and scans, turns out I have a tumor on my grain stem, which could explain a lot off issues. I have to go to a special treatment center for an extended stay while they make a game plan and then we get to work. Here's the funny part though. As soon as I got back in the car, the first thing I said was 'What a fine time to become horribly ill, right before summer, my nemesis. But then it hit me... 'This may work out, stay in a hospital all summer long, comeback when the leaves start to fall!'

Anyway, I began looking on the inet for my summer/fall-I-tiss (I know I butchered that haha) and found this Seasonal Effective disorder or whatever it was called and come to find out, I am not the only one. There are a few out there like me and dang it, I wanna go make some friends that share this with me.

So, here I am. Didn't mean to write so much, but I have been known to ramble on in these parts.
 
midnightphoenix

midnightphoenix

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 9, 2012
Messages
18,525
Location
Tigger and Willow's house UK
I'm so sorry you have seasonal affective disorder and have fits, are you on medication for them? :hug:

My SAD can get bad in the winter, I can only imagine how it feels having the fits you have though :hug:
 
Chameleon

Chameleon

New member
Joined
Mar 28, 2019
Messages
4
Location
USA
I just started medication for the seizures, but treatment on the tumor will begin soon. I am excited to get started and nervous about the process if that makes any sense haha.. Yeah most people/family/friends I have say that I have to be crazy to hate spring and summer so bad, but I just can't help it. I love the way Fall feels and smells, and because of the neuropathy, the winter feels great on my legs and feet hehe.. The only times I enjoy Spring or Summer is during big storms. I love sitting on my porch and watching it all unfold. Oddly enough, I feel safe and secure when it rains or storms, I feel like a shield is around me and nothing can get to me. Same goes for giant snow storms as well.. Okay, started to ramble again, sorry hehe.
 
Top