Hey Ell
That is actually a much more common part of anxiety than one might think. I know someone having similar fears. And also I already caught myself with similar thoughts when having a bad phase. It's as if one tries to grasp a tiny bit of control about how things around one happen. It's fully irrational and in some ways superstitious, but feel like that's how it should be done, with positive thoughts one somehow hopes to push away the anxiety.
(Which in some way show how you make heads against your fear in the first place, it's beautiful how you want to cause just good things to happen....

)
I'm not sure if that is a helpful advice for you but I remember it has helped me to cut those thoughts immediately:
Maybe you could try to do it fully against what you fear. Like doing it wrong, letting go, understanding that has nothing to do with what happens around you.
My advice would be to just delibaretly do it opposed to what you feel...and see that nothing happens<3
I know it's always easier said then done, but sometimes one has to be a little rebelious even with onself. Free yourself from that fear by challenging it